X Factor 2009 Auditions | Live Show 5 | Movie Songs | Arguments and Ghostbusters!

It was live show 5 on Saturday the 7th of August and the theme tonight was Movie Songs. There was no special guest mentor this week so we were treated to the X Factor contestants attending the new Disney movie A Christmas Carol. It always gives the contestants a taste of the good life before it's cruelly snatched away from their desperate fingers.

The judges came out to the sound of Star Wars being blasted out behind them. Cheryl wore a knee length black shift dress with a cross over the chest area. Dannii looked every bit the Greek Goddess with a floor length white one shoulder strapped dress with a high slit up the side.

Stacey Solomon was our first contestant and I'm really starting to wonder how they'll handle her if she win's the contest. Every time I hear her talk it makes me cringe with that stupid giggly buffoon like voice. Can you really see her being interview by Oprah? Nah me either. Her opening scenes were filled with her making strange pig noises that I think was her laughing. Anyway she sang Dusty Springfields Son of a Preacher man from the movie Pulp Fiction. It was pretty boring overall. They tried to turn Stacey Solomon sexy without much success dressing her up in black leather trousers, tank top and then topped off with a nice cardigan. Sexy! She had on a strange medallion as well with pearls on it. Cheryl said she looked sexy and confident. Simon disagreed comparing her to Chinese food as he didn't feel anything afterward only that he was still hungry. She blurted it I feel good in that bumbling idiotic way she speaks but Simon didn't catch it and had to ask her to repeat. The crowd goes wild and Simon I guess took pity on her and left it at that. Dannii said Simon Cowell is obviously out of touch which made me laugh for all the wrong reasons.

Olly Murs is the biggest cheese monger on here I really can't take him seriously. He came out in a black suit with skinny tie singing Twist and Shout by the Beatles. It's apparently from Ferris Bueller's Day Off. This was truly atrocious. At one stage he burst into the thriller dance routine with his cheesy dancers behind him. Louis said that he didn't like the silly dancing or song. Simon was drawing Louis dirty looks by this point. Dannii said he looked like he didn't believe what he was singing by this point the Olly Murs fan club in the crowd kicked into overdrive singing "Olly Olly" which drowned out the judges. I also noticed he has a unibrow tonight.

Lloyd Daniels was up next with those dead eyes of his. Seriously look into them there's absolutely nothing going on in there. The kid creeps me out. He was wearing a checked shirt and white t shirt underneath and sang Stand By Me. Lloyd Daniels is the only constestant who seems to be getting worse as the weeks go by. Tonight was terrible his voice was all over the place and he warbled his way through to the end. He went over to Cheryl at one point to sing directly to her which again made me cringe. Louis Walsh told Lloyd Daniels that he was out of his depth in the competition and that there are four other male vocalists who are better than him. Simon Cowell started on about how it was like having tea with your mum then I guess he realised he might be offending his own mum and quickly apologised. Simon told Lloyd Daniels that his voice wasn't big enough for the song.

Jamie Archer sang Crying by Roy Orbison claiming it was from movie called Gumbo that no ones ever heard of. At the end he said it was also in Mulholland Drive which is weird as I don't know why he didn't say this from the start. This would have saved us from having to listen to Simon and Louis arguing about who was cheating. He did a pretty average job with the song, didn't do anything for me to be honest. He was going to sing Unchained Melody at first with Cheryl saying it was a good idea to change this as it would have been cheesy. Simon pointed out that it was going to be the U2 cover version adding that you should look it up on YouTube! sweetheart. Nice and patronising. Louis then accused Simon of cheating by picking some obscure film.

Lucie Jones sang a song from Camp Rock (what?) called This is Me. She had a bad spot outbreak on her chin again they need to get this girl some Clearasil to sort out her acne. She wore blue jeans, brown boots, black sparkly top and a short black military jacket over the top. Simon said it was the first time Lucie Jones has made herself relevant. Cheesy pop rubbish.

Danyl Johnson was sporting a new shorter hair cut that made him look a bit like Ashley Cole which is maybe why Cheryl was complimenting him on it so much. He sang Purple Rain by Prince and was dressed all in black. He started off his song by sitting down on some see through platform. Simon said Danyl did an outstanding vocal with Dannii warbling on about something. Is he really supposed to take advice from Dannii Minogue??

Jedward! Oh Jedward you are starting to grow on me. Full Ghostbusters routine from these guys complete with boiler suits, proton packs, yellow toy guns, Ghostbusters Car, a few Ghosts and a girl dressed like Sigourney Weaver from Ghostbusters. They showed a clip at the start where apparently Prime Minister Gordon Brown had said that Jedward weren't very good. No shit! But they're entertaining the nation and especially all the kiddies out there. John and Edward said they had always wanted to be Ghostbusters when they were little but hadn't been brave enough. They were also spotted at the start wearing t shirts which said "Vote Jedward" which are bound to be a big Christmas hit...maybe. They started off the performance by sitting in the Ghostbusters car until some spooks came out to scare them. They did a little talking part again with Edward shouting, John save me! With John replying don't be a baby...My favourite part was when the Marshmallow Man came out at the end to join in on the second Thriller dance routine of the night. Dannii said that they either talk or rap but don't sing. I thought this was hilarious again. She's not even fit to give the Irish Twins advice. Simon even said they were good in a childish sort of way. Dermot thanked Louis for suggesting that Jedward were the the antidote for the recession. This was a little prelude to argument they were about to have.

Last up was another cheese monger Joe McElderry who Dermot introduced as Geordie Joe. Boring. He sang Circle of Life from the Lion King and was cheesy and crap. Most of the judges suggested he was more musical theatre than pop star with Dannii adding that he was the strongest male in the competition. Simon disagreed with this and then Cheryl started on about some rubbish about him being like her little brother which I've said right from the start! Fix! Louis and Dermot then started arguing with Louis pointing out that Dermot wasn't a judge but Dermot had the last laugh saying the audience was the real judge.

Results to follow!

Lucie Jones Kicked Out!

Dermot O'Leary kicked off the results show looking snazzy wearing a purple satin tie. Tonight when the judges came onstage they played the theme to the Superman movie which was a bit weird I thought. Anyway, Dannii did not look good tonight with her pageboy hairdo and strapless ivory knee length dress with white line geometric details. The only nice thing she was wearing was a silver heart necklace. Cheryl looked better wearing red/pink or if you want to be picky fuchsia colored mini shift dress. Cheryl definitely had the major hair extensions going though!

Why the contestants continue to mime a song at the beginning of the results show is beyond me. This week they mimed Hot N Cold by Katy Perry. All the contestants wore red/pink and tartan type outfits. Jedward must of really loved this song because they were really into the song and getting down. When Jamie Archer sang his voice was changed using a vocoder, come on that's not live! There's not much to say about this bit except that once again it was pretty cheesy.

Then it was onto some of the unseen backstage footage from Saturday. Stacey Solomon was being cheeky to Simon but it was beyond me what she said to him something about being vulnerable but I cannot understand a word horse face says!

Louis and Cheryl had it out when Louis told Cheryl that Lloyd was out of his depth and at least you still have Joe. Cheryl was angry at his comment and said yeah and you have John and Edward, good luck with THAT!

Jamie Archer claimed just because his song was unknown didn't make it cheating, but yeah I still can't find anything about that movie so I think it was. Simon snipped that Louis should have been a traffic warden.

Danyl Johnson commented backstage that Cheryl finally likes him because with his new haircut he looks like her husband. John and Edward came offstage and were comedic even then, Edward was so distracted by a girl that he forgot to keep up with John and talk to the camera.

Black Eyed Peas performed their new single Meet Me Halfway, and it was pretty terrible. Fergie made her entrance by being lowered onstage standing on a giant moon. Then Wil.I.Am came flying in over the audience and once onstage proceeded to play a keytar. The song was not catchy at all and the performance was pretty boring to say the least. When Dermot interview the Black Eyed Peas Wil.I.Am said that Cheryl was the coolest and Fergie commented that she had a crisis with her shoes and thanked Cheryl for letting her borrow hers.

After that Dermot called Louis mardy bum saying that they had made up and gave Louis a kiss on the forehead, aw.

Next up was X Factor winner Leona Lewis, she sang her new single Happy. She wore a strapless black sparkly sweetheart top and a full floor length black taffeta skirt. Also, I don't know who did her makeup for this but she looked like a tranny! With the white eyeliner and heavy black eyeshadow, big mistake. Once again this was another boring song with a performance that was nothing special. Alexandra Burke's performance a few weeks earlier really put this to shame. Leona also seemed to look like she had crazy eyes.

Right so the bottom two this week were a shocker: Lucie Jones and Jeward

Lucie sang One Moment In Time by Whitney Houston for her survival. She was off-key in the first part of the song and looked pretty nervous. However, towards the end of the song she got it together, sounded good, and looked confident.

Jedward sang Rock DJ by Robbie Williams for their survival. This was actually a smart move since like Robbie they cannot sing to save their life, but they are good entertainers. They did some crazy dancing during the song, kicked each other in the bum, and jumped into the crowd at one point. After their performance it was a mix of cheers and boo's.

Louis voted to keep Jedward, Dannii voted to keep Lucie, Cheryl voted to keep Lucie, and Simon was the wildcard by voting to keep Jedward even though he said he hated them all this time, he quickly changed his tune by saying I'd rather see John and Edward again and made the vote a deadlock.

Shockingly Lucie received the lowest number of public votes and was kicked out! She was obviously really upset and started crying, one of the twins tried to console her, but she pushed him away, ooh! However, when Dermot asked her for a reaction she kept it diplomatic and just said I'm gutted but John and Edward deserve to be here, they work the hardest out of anyone.

Can Jedward hold on? Tune in next week when the guests are Shakira and the X Factor contestants will perform the X Factor charity single for the first time...

X Factor 2009 Live Auditions | Rock Week | Cheryl's Awful Dress | Jedward Rock On!

Well it was rock week on the X Factor 2009 this week on Saturday 31st of October 2009. Yes it's Halloween and the scariest thing was undoubtedly Cheryl's absolutely atrocious dress. Wow who the hell thought that was a good idea. Cheryl was wearing some thigh high hooker boots in the style of Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. Bad Start. The dress Cheryl wore was just awful! It was a black mini dress with like fan things covering her breasts that had little piano keys on them. It was then attached to some black dog collar round her neck. Simon had to warn her at one point to keep sitting upright as it was slipping down, Cheryl Cole had to pull it back up in to place. Dannii looked much better wearing a one shouldered, floor length bronze sparkly dress with lace detail and black high heels. Bon Jovi was supposed to be mentoring this week but there was no sign of him with no explanation as to why he wasn't there. Nice one X Factor! I also noticed that Cheryl and Dannii weren't sitting next to each other anymore. Dannii had switched seats with Louis. Perhaps she didn't want to sit next to Cheryl when she was wearing that horrific dress?

On to the contestants and Dermot referred to Cheryl as the Northern Rock. Not a tag she'll be delighted about I'm sure. Joe McElderry was up first moaning about the press in his opening scenes. Boring! Simon said Joe and rock were like a mouse and a tiger. He don't stop believing by Journey and I thought it was awful. Really really bad his voice didn't suit the song at all. Joe wore a leather bikers jacket and white nautical t shirt with anchors on it. He did a strange thing when he walked round behind the judges to sing directly to the crowd but you could see all four judges straining in their seats to turn around and watch the performance. Nice one Joe. There were two stupid dancers on behind him too doing some weird dance like they were in Dirty Dancing. Simon ripped in to the dancers at the end calling them Squiddly and Diddly. Cheryl defended them saying Simon doesn't appreciate contemporary dance. I'm sorry I just couldn't take Cheryl seriously tonight because of that dress. Simon Cowell said that Joe McElderry's performance was a bit limp which was right. Then we had the dress incident which resulted in Cheryl calling Simon a prat. Dermot also stated that the song was a Newcastle anthem. Seriously?

Lucie Jones was up next doing her best Avril Lavigne/Kelly Clarkson impression. Simon was right when he called her an actress last week. I thought Lucie Jones was crap too. She sang Sweet Child O' Mine by Guns N Roses and started the performance off by lying down on a gold couch. What that had to do with anything I'll never know. She was wearing a sleeveless checked shirt with a chain mail print tank top underneath. Very trailer trash. She also had a black chunky bracelet on. The performance was full of awkward moments most noticeably when she was posing next to a guitarist against the amps. Cheryl rather patronisingly said she was like a little Avril Lavigne this week. Seriously Cheryl Cole was talking down to someone she makes me laugh so much. Simon said Lucie Jones was boring last week but much better this week. Nah she was still boring.

Danyl Johnson seemed to be pissed off that he was in the last two last week and the amount of bad press he's had this week. Someone said he was more hated than Hitler on Twitter which seemed to really get to him. Why bother Danyl I could go on Twitter right now and say the same thing but who cares if some bum like me (or the other guy) says stuff like this about you? Grow a pair and get on with it. Anyway he was wearing a black waistcoat and white shirt this week and Danyl Johnson sang Aerosmith's I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing but it was pretty average it was like his heart wasn't really in it. Dannii said he looked like he's lost his mojo and was a bit out of tune. Cheryl said his performance made her feel uncomfortable and didn't do it for her. I guess the thing that really does it for her is a cheating husband eh Cheryl? Danyl's body language spoke volumes at the end he stood with his hands in his pockets dying to get off stage.

Lloyd Daniels continues to get worse and worse. I'd say he's at least on a par with Jedward now. They had him sitting on a throne with girls all round him kissing his face leaving lipstick marks everywhere. He was singing Katie Perry's I Kissed A Girl and I Liked It. I think it's about time this kid was kicked off the show, we're at the stage now where he's getting drowned out by the backing singers. I think Lloyd Daniels is only being kept in because of his looks. Louis Walsh was moaning again about the fact that he wasn't singing a rock song with Simon making fun of Louis for complaining. They started to argue over the top of Cheryl's comments then she told them both to shut up. I wish she hadn't and they could have drowned out her horrible accent. Goes right through me. I think Lloyd Daniels has a big following on facebook because they started talking about that but to be honest I don't really care.

Horse faced Stacey Solomon was up next and I'd have to say she appears to be the stupidest contestant who's been on the X Factor for some time. She says thanks with an 'F'. It looked like Dannii had forgotten her name at the start when she was introducing her. Maybe the Botox has leaked in to her brain. Stacey Solomon sang Somewhere Only We Know by Keane in a totally non rock fashion. Her vocals were good though but again she's cheating a bit. She wore a black dress with silver tassles over the top of black leather leggings and high heels. Louis said the song choice was boring which was right. Simon was talking about an X Factor miracle compared to last week.

Commercial break, they must have came back to soon as all the judges were just getting back to their seats from a bathroom break I guess. Jamie Archer was next up singing Primal Scream's Get Your Rocks Off. He had a black leather/PVC jacket on with a silver guitar motif on the back like all true rock stars wear. It was cheesy. Why is someone who wants to be a rock star on this talent show anyway? Go get yourself a band Jamie Archer. Why does he have that stupid towel in his back pocket does anyone know? To catch the bugs that fall out of his Afro? He looked like he was wearing a lot of makeup too. Louis said he wasn't a real rock star and was simply a Lenny Kravitz impersonator. Cheryl got a bit bitchy by saying the only reason we have rock week on the X Factor is because Simon has a rock artist. The audience didn't seem to like it too much probably because of the bitchy nature. Dermot was then joking about Louis reading NME and Kerrang.

Rachel Adedji wore a strapless pink leopard print dress with a black belt and sang One by U2. It seems that Dannii is determined to make her look like Rhianna even changing her hair to match this week. Louis commented that it was an emotional performance from Rachel. Simon said that Dannii was trying to make Rachel her clone with that hairstyle, Dannii fired back with a joke about Simon's hair. It would have been funny if she just left the joke alone but she continued to overdo it.

Ok now the time everyone's been waiting for... John and Edward aka Jedward as their fans now call them. They both wore long leather trench coats, ghetto blaster t shirts, and heavy eyeliner which did not match the song they picked at all! I have no idea what looking goth has to do with Queen, but anyway Jedward sang We Will Rock You by Queen. Once again the performance was over the top with dancers, motorcycles, fire. Again all this drama was need to try and hide the fact that Jedward was out of tune, forgot the word in parts, and were both totally out of time with the song. At one point during the performance they jumped into the crowd of backup dancers and were being lifted around. At the end of the performance a lot of the crowd was booing which once again makes no sense since they seem to be the most popular act on X Factor. All the judges minus Louis agreed that the look and the song made no sense. John and Edward looked like they were dressed for Halloween and overall looked pretty scary. Simon said that their performance was like night of the living dead and was out of tune.

Last of the night was Olly Murs. He wore a blue denim shirt and jeans. He sang Come Together by The Beatles. At one point in the performance for no apparent reason he decided to rip his shirt open!

I don't know but every week on X Factor seems to get weirder and weirder

Sunday 1st of November 2009 - The Results!

Rachel Adedji got the boot this week which is no surprise since she survived by the skin of her teeth a few times now. We started off tonight's show with the usual dramatic entrance from the judges. Cheryl wore something a little less disgusting tonight, a black top with shoulder strap crossover, sparkly trousers and black peep toe heels. Dannii wore a black satin knee length shift dress with black belt, black heels and puff sleeves. She had her hair crimped like it was the 80's.

The contestants came out to the usual mime routine singing Walk This Way by Aerosmith/Run DMC. They were wearing outfits in red white and black and to be honest they couldn't be any less rock if they'd tried. Why were they miming again? We had backing dancers break dancing and the contestants were jumping up and down like extras from High School Musical. Someone was hanging from monkey bars at one point. Stacey Solomon's accent was coming through in the song, "FANKS huhuhuhu!" you know how it goes.

We were treated to some backstage footage of Danyl Johnson crying after last nights performance, I think he was complaining about not being able to hear the start of the song. Louis was talking about Jamie Archer thinking he's a rocker but he's really a pretend Karaoke rocker. He also added that Jedward would sell more records than Dannii Minogue which is why she hates them so much. I think I've sold more records than Dannii though so I guess she hates me too?

Special guest Bon Jovi were then up singing We Weren't Born to Follow. At least they did it live but it wasn't very rock just a radio friendly dirge. Boring. Jon Bon Jovi has great teeth though. And hair. He advised the contestants to listen to every word Simon says as he knows his stuff. He didn't comment on the other three judges but why would he. One's there to be Simon's whipping boy and the other two are there for a bit of fluff. Dermot then wanted to high five Richie Sambora because it was a childhood dream. Simon then went on to make a big announcement which was that Cheryl's garbage single was still number one and unbelievably her album was number 1 also. It's frightening. Simon congratulated her and jokingly asked her to come to his record label. They both laughed and hugged and he kissed her on the cheek. Lets all laugh at how much money we can all make. Sickening. Simon went on to predict that Jedward would be in the bottom two how wrong can you be.

Last years runners up JLS came on to perform some over produced nonsense called Everyone In Love. They seem to be an American band now like it's an User or Ne-Yo song they're performing. The performance was very polished with a dance breakdown, fireworks on raising platforms and the crowd going wild. JLS definitely put on a better show than the mime routine of the X Factor contestants. Simon gave them a lot of praise saying acts like them are the reason that he does the show. Dermot then started joking about how he's still waiting for his merchandise from the band.

On to the results! Jedward go through to a chorus of boos from the crowd. We were left with Rachel Adedji and Lloyd Daniels with Lloyd complaining about a sore throat. Has he had a sore throat since the start of the show? No? Must just be me. Cheryl was getting the excuses in early saying Lloyd was poorly before he sang his second show. He sang You Are So Beautiful by Stevie Wonder and I thought he was once again out of tune. This kid can't sing. His voice broke a few times and he gave up far too easily with the high notes. He just couldn't hit the high notes and seemed to be looking for sympathy from the crowd. Rachel sang Stop Crying Your Heart Out by Oasis and to be honest she overdid the vocals quite a bit. She did a decent job though and put a lot of emotion into the song. When Dermot brought the contestants together Lloyd reached round and gave Rachel a squeeze on the shoulder for a bit of support.

Dannii chose to keep Rachel, Louis chose to keep Rachel, Cheryl choose Lloyd and Simon mistakenly said Rachel sang better than Olly. Louis had to correct Simon who then apologised saying he's not with it tonight and corrected himself. Despite the fact that he said Rachel sang better and everyone and their grandma realised this he still choose to keep Lloyd because he was 'sick'. DEADLOCK! The drama of X Factor is crazy. Rachel then got kicked out for having the fewest votes from the public, she started crying and looked gutted. Perhaps she's too much like Leona Lewis and Alexandra Burke to win X Factor this year.

Special guests next week are the Black Eyed Peas and Leona Lewis. Yippee!

X Factor 2009 Live Auditions | Big Band Night | Michael Buble | Danyl Johnson | John & Edward Still Here!

It was Big Band night on the X Factor this week with the episode being shown on Saturday the 24th of October 2009. Once again the show has been split in to two episodes with the results of tonight's show being announced on Sunday the 25th of October 2009. The judges upped the X Factor 2009 style stakes again this week with Cheryl wearing a one shouldered white floor length Greek inspired dress. This was complimented with a diamond hair accessory. Dannii Minogue wore a floor length sheer dark gray lace sparkly dress with chandelier silver earrings. Louis Walsh was back this week and I thought he looked terrible. He must have had a hard time with Stephen Gately's death as you can definitely see the difference in him. The mentor this week was Michael Buble since it was big band night.

I must say the best part of this episode was the fact that Louis Walsh and Simon Cowell were bantering back and forth the entire night and in some parts it got quite catty which makes it even more entertaining.

Olly Murs kicked off the night. He was wearing a white tuxedo shirt, black trousers, black bow-tie, and braces. He had the help of several female backing dancers. His backup dancers were wearing short black dresses and witches hats to tie in with the theme of the song he was singing. Olly sang The Bewitched theme song by Howard Greenfield and Jack Keller. For the first time in weeks Olly looked visibly nervous, big band is obviously not his cup of tea. He tried to cover his nervousness by doing stupid dance moves that really didn't work with the theme of the show this week. Also, I wonder if anyone watching had the same question as me: Did Olly Murs have something stuffed down the front of his trousers? and if so: What was stuffed down the front of Olly's trousers? I bet it was one of John or Edwards socks. I definitely think he must of had a bit of artificial enhancement down below because it was bordering on obscene! Also the bulge hung to the left, so unless Olly was channeling Terry Wogan what was going on down there? Moving on from those questions, Simon Cowell told Olly, I know what it's like working with two witches. Ohhh catty! Simon also commented that Olly had style, grace, and charisma.

Lloyd Daniels was next and he was in trouble before he even came out onstage and started singing. In the interviews they show before the performances Simon Cowell ominously stated: I hope Cheryl doesn't pick some obvious song like Fly Me To The Moon for him. Well Simon may have a future as a psychic because that's exactly the song Cheryl picked for Lloyd, Fly Me To The Moon by Frank Sinatra. Lloyd wore a white tuxedo shirt, white waistcoat, black skinny tie, and black tuxedo pants. Since he's only 16 he definitely didn't have the maturity to sing any type of big band song and honestly I feel like he should be in school rather than on X Factor. During his performance he gave a cheesy wink at the camera that was truly cringeworthy. His voice was totally drowned out by the band and maybe for that we should be grateful since he was singing in a monotone fashion anyway. To make up for the make that he can't sing he decided to do a backflip on stage halfway through the song. Well as you can imagine that went down like a lead boat. After the backflip Simon immediately shot Lloyd a dirty look, oh if only looks could kill then we'd have one less performance to sit through! I also feel like besides being rubbish he has a very vacant look, I don't know if that is down to age or what. Louis Walsh stated that Lloyd needed to be part of a group or boyband in order to become successful. In a classic Simon Cowell quip he stated: Doing a backflip while singing Fly Me To The Moon is like eating a sandwich while swimming. I found that quite funny. He also told Lloyd he needed to get some confidence.

Onto one of the more promising acts, Miss Frank. They wore similar black and white pinstriped suits and Graziella was holding a cane. The trio sang a jazzier version of That's Life by Frank Sinatra. Miss Frank had been critized in previous weeks for not gelling together as a group, I have to say they did a better job with that this week. No one sang over each other, the only part of their performance I didn't like was Graziella's rapping. She somehow worked Simon and Louis' name into her rap, which in my opinion isn't very hip hop it's more like looking for brownie points from the judges. Graziella seems to hog the limelight a little bit which I hope won't work against them in the future. However, I seems to be in the minority since all the judges loved the rapping and at the end of the song the audience gave them a standing ovation. Also, I don't know what happened at the end of Miss Frank's performance when Graziella wobbled a bit and ended up banging into Shaniece. Simon said it was the first time they looked like a group and he genuinely hoped that they would stay in the competition. While Dermot O'Leary was asking Miss Frank for a response they all started talking and forgot to hold the mic up to their mouth so everyone could hear what they were saying! Man, no one said you had to be smart to be on X Factor.

Next up was Rachel Adedji and she had a lot to prove this week. After Rachel had been in the bottom two for the last two weeks running, she really had to give it everything she had to make sure it didn't happen again. Dannii Minogue finally fixed Rachel's hair and she had a bob this week instead of looking like a Rhianna clone. I guess Dannii finally got the message that it wasn't smart to make Rachel Adedji look like Rhianna. However, in saying that her outfit was a little weird. She wore a neon multicolored sequined mini dress that made her look like she could of been an extra in the movie Tron. But enough of that, Rachel chose to sing Proud Mary by Tina Turner. She had the help of female backup dancers who wore short gold sequined dresses. In my opinion Rachel's voice was getting lost in the grandeur of the horns and her voice is better suited to slow songs or ballads. She definitely didn't put the same amount of energy into Proud Mary as Tina Turner did that's for sure! Once again the judges really seemed to like it and Simon said it was like seeing a brand new competitor and thank god you lost the silly haircut. He further added: You had a superb performance and great vocals. So there's hope that Rachel will not end up in the bottom two this week.

Up next was Jamie Archer aka Jamie Afro. He wore a white tuxedo shirt, a black bowtie that was left untied around his neck because he's an idiot, and black sparkly pants. I really wish someone would grab a shaver and shave off Jamie's afro in the middle of the night while he was sleeping. He sang Angel O'Mine by Aynsley Lister however, later Louis said the song was by U2. Hmm, I think Louis might be wrong. Jamie Archer is a real showman onstage there's no doubting that, but the guy is a rubbish singer. After the performance, Louis was a bit aggravated and told Jamie that he cheated by not singing a big band song and in no way is Bono big band. I have to say that I don't often agree with Louis, but that is cheating. Simon retaliated with the nasty comment: You're not one to preach to us about musical taste knowing the two horrors that are coming out here! The two horrors were John and Edward, I guess that's Simon's new pet name for them.

Stacey Solomon aka Horse Face performed next. She wore a floor length one shoulder cross strapped silver sparkly dress. She gave some sob story about how she wanted to sing this song for her son. Michael Buble specifically told her to pretend she was singing it directly to her son so that the emotion would come through, but I guess Horse Face Stacey must of been thinking about jumping fences or something and failed to listen. Stacey sang When You Wish Upon A Star by Jiminy Cricket aka Cliff Edwards. As I said before because she chose to ignore Michael Buble's advice the performance had no emotion. Simon said that she looked better than she sounded, the whole thing was very robotic, and she need to learn some performance skills. Dannii then proceeded to tell a story that this week Stacey Solomon came running into her room in a flood of tears and was having a bad week. Stacey looked very uncomfortable at the fact that Dannii had shared such a personal story and what was obviously a private moment.

Danyl Johnson has become my favorite competitor in this competition, while I really didn't like him at first I think he has become a lot more humble and toned down his over the top performances. He wore a white tuxedo shirt, black suit, and untied black bowtie. He sang the song Feeling Good by Nina Simone. I think this was an excellent song choice for him, and the song style really suited him. Not only did Danyl Johnson sing the song really well, but he definitely put on an entertaining performance. After he finished Simon gave him a standing ovation. Simon also told Danyl that he is in a completely different league to the rest of the contestants. Louis told him he was born to sing and entertain.

Another snoozer was next, Joe McElderry. He said he was going to be sexy for this performance and to be honest I think I could hear Simon laughing from my couch. He wore a black ugly suit that was very reminiscent of Hugh Hefner's smoking jacket. Joe sang Sway by Dean Martin. Talk about robotic, his salsa dance moves were as stiff as you can get. The dance moves also looked really cheesy and made him look a little creepy. The performance on the whole I could liken to one you would see on a cruise ship. Simon came up with a weird analogy but somehow I think it was correct, he said: You've got as much Latin flair as a dolphin.

A surprisingly good performance tonight came from Lucie Jones. Lucy sang My Funny Valentine from the show Babes In Arms. She wore a black and red floor length dress which was accesorized by a chunky black ring. The arrangement of the song was in the style so that Lucie could sing the song in a sexy, sultry fashion. I think this was a good choice for her, and her voice really suited big band. Overall, she did a pretty good job. However, the only thing that would ruin the whole sultry thing was the fact that Lucie had a big spot on her chin and the camera kept zooming in on it. Her performance ended in a shower of pink rose petals, one of which got stuck in her hair. She had the rose petal in her hair during the judges comments until Simon pointed it out to her, she just laughed, took it out, and said thank you. Simon commented that she sang the song like an actress and an angry Louis shouted: What are you looking for?!

The last and also most controversial act of the competition, John and Edward. Before their performance Simon claimed that if John and Edward win X Factor he will leave the country. I mean come on now is that really a threat? Oh poor Simon what will you do leave the rainy UK to go spend time in you multimillion dollar home in LA like you do anyway? Please! Anyway, John and Edward sang She Bangs by Ricky Martin and what that had to do with big band I really couldn't tell you. Also those two little slugs haven't banged anything yet except maybe their head when they were younger, which would explain a lot. Continuing their awful taste in fashion they wore similar suits, one in red and one in lime green. They also had backing dancers to try to take the attention away from them, the girls wore polka dot bras and tutus. During the song when one of the girls came to dance between the twins they both looked visibly uncomfortable. Also, for half the song John and Edward forgot to actually sing, what's up with that? It is a singing competition after all! Of course they added the obligatory embarrassing dance moves that correlate to the lyrics of the song, akin to something you'd see at 3 in the morning on See Hear. Another bizarre moment during their performance was when the twins got down on all fours and girls pretend to ride them like they were horses. Stacey Solomon must of been thanking her lucky stars that they didn't try that with her. After the performance finished John and Edward received boo's from the crowd and someone in the audience shouted RUBBISH! Simon said the song was appalling, to which Louis fired back: Simon once signed a group called Zig and Zag. Cheryl confessed that the twins had become her guilty pleasure. John and Edward proceeded to thank Simon for the dance moves and they left.

Results to follow!

Miss Frank Kicked Out

Well if you're wondering who was kicked off X Factor on Sunday October 25th, the answer is Miss Frank aka Graziella Affinita, Shaniece Davis, and Shar Alexandra.

I must start by saying I wasn't the biggest fan of Cheryl and Dannii's dresses tonight, they were a bit wacky for my taste. Cheryl wore a strange silver sequined dress that was very short and resembled either snake skin or scales. Cheryl's dress also had quite a revealing V neck and and long sleeved bolero in the same style as her dress. Dannii wore a flesh colored halterneck knee length dress, which had lace details and silver sparkles.

So the song all the contestants had to mime this week was Fascination by Alphabeat. All the contestants wore black and white themed outfits. For some reason this week all the dancing and singing to Alphabeat was incredibly cheesy. Danyl Johnson is still really bad a miming and after 3 weeks John and Edward are still out of time with the music! It really got a bit much when they broke out white tambourines and threw them up in the air as well as banging it on their bums.

Westlife are apparently trying to make a comeback and were on X Factor to promote their new single What About Now. The boyband performed the song and they were pretty dull as normal, but have moved away from sitting on chairs, wait for it...they're now standing while they sing ballads. Westlife seemed to be trying to go for a mature Take That type of sound, but it just wasn't working for them.

Host Dermot O'Leary commented that last night's episode with all the bantering between Louis and Simon was like watching an episode of Grumpy Old Men.

Michael Buble was also on the show singing his new single Cry Me A River. He was dressed in a black tuxedo and looked very James Bond. This quite fit in with the theme of the song since it reminded me of a James Bond movie theme song. While I'm not a Michael Buble fan, I have to admit the guy does have a powerful voice and put on an effortless performance. After Michael finished the song someone from the audience screamed I LOVE YOU! Michael responded by saying: I love you too stranger in the dark! When Dermot asked Michael who his favorite contestant was he said it was Rachel Adedji adding: She blew me away.

After his interview with Michael Buble, Dermot had a bit of a dig at past X Factor guests like Robbie Williams and Whitney Houston by saying: It's so nice to interview an international star that isn't weird.

Miss Frank and Danyl Johnson found themselves in the bottom two this week and both had to sing for their survival.

Miss Frank chose to sing Love Don't Live Here Anymore by Lady Antebellum, this turned out to be a bad song choice for them. Their voices worked against each other and they didn't looked like they gelled as group again. Graziella tried to upstage Shaniece and Shar by standing in front of them and doing her rap again. Graziella's rap has become really annoying and totally lost its novelty factor.

I cannot believe that Danyl Johnson was in the bottom two considering he had the best performance on Saturday night. It was obvious that Simon was not happy about this either saying: I think it's a joke you're in this position. Danyl sang With A Little Help From My Friends by The Beatles. He starting slipping back into his bad habits of going a bit over the top, but in saying that he still put on a great performance and gave it a lot of effort.

Louis decided to keep Miss Frank of course, Simon voted for Danyl, Dannii voted for Danyl, and stupid Cheryl couldn't make up her peabrain and decided to make it a deadlock decision by voting for Miss Frank.

As I said the vote was Deadlocked and the result depended on the public voted, which luckily Danyl Johnson got the most public votes and stays in the competition.

Miss Frank claimed they were going to stay together as a group and keep performing, yeah right I bet you they won't even make it out of the building together, but at least we don't have to hear anymore silly rapping so bye bye!

On next week's X Factor the mentor will be Bon Jovi and musical guest JLS

X Factor 2009 - Live Auditions 2 - Saturday 17th October

The 2nd live audition of X Factor 2009 was shown on Saturday 17th of August and had the usual mix of outstanding performances and unusual song choices! We're down to 11 contestants at this stage after Kandy Rain getting kicked out in the first X Factor 2009 live audition. The theme of tonight's show was Diva song's in honour of special guest Whitney Houston. Clive Davis was also present he discovered Whitney Houston's talent many years ago and Simon Cowell paid tribute to him at the start calling Clive Davis his mentor.

Dannii Minogue was sporting some awful birds nest hairdo tonight who knows what she was thinking. Louis Walsh was still not present after the death of Stephen Gately. Lucie Jones was first up wearing a blue mini dress that seemed to make her legs go on for miles. She's looking much better now after the X Factor makeover. That idiot dance coordinator guy Brian Friedman popped up to tell us some unimportant rubbish. Lucie Jones sang How Will I Know by Whitney Houston and went for more of a dance routine this time rather than the way she usually does it. Simon Cowell told her she's never going to be Whitney which we all know but it was a decent performance.

Olly Murs was up next. The most boring man on the planet was wearing a gray silver suit with black skinny tie and white shirt. Olly Murs sang Tina Turner's A Fool In Love and I thought the whole thing was a bit karaoke. Olly Murs seems to have developed some sort of awful leg shake thing when he sings that Dermot has dubbed the 'Olly Shake'. It's awful. Cheryl said this was the best performance that Olly Murs has done.

Miss Frank were up next and Shar seemed to have a bracelet on that looked like an acorn. Hmm. Miss Frank were dressed up in black and red outfits tonight I guess they're still trying to keep their own individual styles. They sang He Fills Me Up by Whitney Houston. I thought it was OK, Simon didn't! He said it was awful and got the crowds back up in his usual panto bad guy style. Simon did have another little argument with Cheryl Cole. Cheryl said it took Girls Aloud 2 years to get their act together properly. Simon said it was more like three.

Rachel Adedji was gushing over Whitney Houston a bit during the rehearsal. She started off her performance lying down on the stage and sang If I Were A Boy by Beyonce. Rachel Adedji was wearing a denim military jacket and black leather trousers. Dermot O'Leary was complaining about her heels as she was towering over him. I wonder how tall Dermot O'Leary is? Simon Cowell said he liked it but didn't love it as it was too close to the original song.

Joe McElderry as he now seems to be known sang Whitney Houston's Where Do Broken Hearts Go and was dressed all in black. He did a good job I just find him really boring, almost Olly Murs dull. Joe McElderry is the new Gareth Gates. Everyone loved it including the judges I think Simon made a little joke about him improving his performance by working with his big sister which might have been in reference to Cheryl. Definitely some relation there!

Danyl Johnson sang a new Whitney Houston song which is off her new album. Something about strength or being strong. Maybe I Didn't Know My Own Strength. Danyl Johnson kept his fashion simple wearing a black shirt and jeans. Dannii said his performance was flawless.

Lloyd Daniels started off with some garbage from the vocal coach Yvie Burnett. Who Cares. He sang an absolutely awful version of Leona Lewis's Bleeding Love. Oh my did Cheryl give him bad advice on song choice or what. Lloyd Daniels was wearing a gray shirt and waistcoat. He looked like he was frozen to the spot for the whole song and the whole thing didn't really work for him. Simon Cowell said it was like a mouse trying to climb a mountain, the song was far too big for him. Cheryl started crying at this point and tried to explain why she chose this song and how she took responsibility. Lloyd Daniels jumped over to give her a hug and make her feel a bit better.

John and Edward sang Britney Spears Oops I did it Again. Just when you think these kids couldn't get anymore annoying they step up with this performance. There was some terrible dancing with luggage carts and unfortunately for us they decided to copy Britney and wear the red PVC suits. Terrible. John and Edward are like the male version of the Cheeky Girls. They walked behind the judges for the talking part of the song and one of the gave the other a piece of jewelery just like in the Britney Spears video it was terrible. Simon said, what the bloody hell was that? He also said it was the worst live performance he's ever seen on X Factor.

My favourite Rikki Loney still hasn't got that annoying eyebrow fixed. He had a black suit and purple scarf on. Whitney Houston seemed to be a bit annoyed at Rikki Loney as he'd chosen to sing Respect by Aretha Franklin. Mostly because Rikki Loney is garbage and couldn't do the song justice. Simon said he turned from a pub singer to a wedding singer and the song was too big for him.

Jamie Archer sang Christina Aguilera's Hurt and wore a white v neck t shirt and a silver shark tooth necklace. Does anyone know why he wears a towel in his back pocket? I know he's trying to make it his thing but why? It's ridiculous. Simon said he was perfect.

Stacey Solomon was wearing a one shoulder strapped black polka dot knee length dress. She sang Etta James's At Last. Simon said that Stacey Solomon looked uncomfortable the whole time but I thought her performance went well.

Results will follow on Sunday the 18th of October 2009.

Rikki Loney Kicked Out

Well once again the results show was filled with controversy. First off I have to get into Cheryl Cole and Danni Minogue's dresses. Dannii Minogue was wearing a fuchsia strapless, ruffled mini dress accessorized with a wide black belt. What was the deal with Dannii Minogue's hair?! It looked like she was channeling a trailer park with her mullet style hairdo. I guess for this show Dannii was all business in the front and party in the back. Cheryl Cole looked much better as always, she was wearing a gold sequined, strapless mini dress. Has anyone ever noticed the shoes Dannii and Cheryl wear, I always wonder how high their shoes are and what size are they?

To kick off the show once again all the contestants had to preform the obligatory ridiculous mime to a song. Irish twins John and Edward definitely gave away the fact that the song wasn't sung live, come on these two nuggets can't even mime a song properly! This week the song was Queen of the Night by Whitney Houston. Obviously this song was picked in honor of Whitney's appearance on the show. So all in all that part of the show is just to waste time because the people aren't even singing live.

While on the subject of not singing live, there has been many rumors floating around this week that X Factor judge Cheryl Cole may not preform her new single Fight For This Love live. I heard that people had said that she was intimidated by having to preform on the same night as Whitney Houston, so she'd rather pre-record the track and mime. Although when it came down to it I have to give her credit Cheryl Cole sang live and did a pretty good job. Fellow Girls Aloud bandmates, Nadine Coyle, Sarah Harding, Nicola Roberts, and Kimberly Walsh, were there to support Cheryl. Ashley Cole affair (as I like to call him), Cheryl's husband, was also on hand I guess to support but once again he just looked like an idiot that would rather be somewhere else than at the X Factor supporting his wife, Ashley Cole is such a sleaze! Cheryl wore a red military jacket, military style hat, black trousers that were open at the sides, and a black sheer top. She also had about 50 backing dancers who were all men dressed in military uniforms. The funniest part after the performance was when Dermot O'Leary was talking to Cheryl she had red lipstick all smudge on her chin from the mic. Dermot also asked Simon Cowell what he thought of the performance, which was kind of stupid because of course he gave Cheryl loads of praise and said her single would be #1 this week. Cheryl finished off by thanking everyone for letting her be on the show and supporting her as a new judge. However, isn't she a little late with this thank you speech since she's been on the show 2 years already?!

Ok, now it was time for Whitney Houston's performance which was supposed to be her big UK comeback and her first UK performance in 10 years. This all seemed pretty promising as on Saturday Whitney was back in fine form and actually giving the contestants good advice. However, Whitney Houston's comeback looked like it was on shaky ground after her performance of her new single Million Dollar Bill. Million Dollar Bill is an uptempo song and Whitney looked like she couldn't keep up the pace and her vocals were definitely not what they once were. Whitney also had a wardrobe malfunction during her song, the back strap of her silver floor length sparkly dress broke. She's singing a song about million dollar bills and she's got on a cheap quality dress that breaks when you're just singing not even dancing what's that about? Also, during the song money exploded onto the stage, I think Whitney confused herself with a big time rapper or something. After the song, Whitney looked absolutely exhausted as she spoke with Dermot, and I don't know if anyone else noticed that she seemed to be a bit spaced out like she used to be. Dermot also commented on the fact that Whitney didn't sugar coat what she thought of any of the contestants singing, she said Yeah that's why Simon calls me lippy. She followed that by saying I just speak my mind exactly like Simon Cowell. So in summary I don't think the old Whitney Houston diva is back to 100% yet.

On a side note I found it a little weird that during the show Simon Cowell's mic broke and he had to use Dermot's.

So the bottom two this week came down to once again the poor Rachel Adedji who looked like she was going to have a nervous breakdown when she realized she was in the bottom two for a second week in a row. Rikki Loney was also in the bottom two with his one weird eyebrow that sticks up, really you're telling me they couldn't have fixed that by now?

Rachel decided to sing With or Without You by U2. She was visibly upset and frustrated that she had a pretty decent performance on Saturday but still managed to end up here again. She just shook her head as she walked down the stairs to begin the song. Once again she did a pretty decent job, a little gravely in parts, but after the song she completely lost it and broke down into tears.

Rikki Loney sang Westlife's Flying Without Wings because he claimed it was his favorite song, well if that's the case he really needs to get out more. While the judges voted Rikki kept begging please, please, please it was really quite pathetic.

Since Louis was absent again he couldn't cast a vote, Dannii voted for Rachel to stay, Cheryl voted for Rikki to stay, and the deciding vote came down to Simon who wanted Rachel to stay in the competition. Rikki starting crying and Cheryl came onstage to give him a hug, when Dermot asked Cheryl her thoughts on this outcome she said I just can't believe that this has happened Rikki has been voted out and John and Edward get to stay here. Oooh snap! But she is right John and Edward have stayed in the competition for entertainment value.

Well Rikki Loney is out and must pack his bags and return to Glasgow, bye bye!

X Factor 2009 - Live Auditions Episode 1 - Results

The first X Factor 2009 Live audition aired on Saturday the 10th of October 2009 with the theme of the show being musical heroes. This basically meant every second song was a Robbie Williams number since he was the guest. The theme every week is how Simon Cowell can make more money. We only saw Robbie Williams coaching the talent earlier in the day I'll assume we'll see him and Alexandra Burke on the new format results show which is being shown on Sunday the 11th of October. The judges came out to the usual dramatic X Factor music with the fireworks going off. Dannii Minogue had a magenta/purple floor length halter neck dress on. Cheryl Cole had a strange looking strapless, knee length golden sequined poofy ball skirt dress on. It was Simon Cowell's birthday so Dermot started things off by wishing him a happy birthday. Simon teased Dermot O'Leary about the state he was in at Simons calling it disgusting behaviour birthday party with Dannii Minogue adding that he was out till 5am. I've noticed that quite a few times people have said they 'want what the stars' want which is beginning to make everyone sound materialistic and only interested in making money! Maybe they are only here to make money who knows? Everyone wants to be rich and famous!

On to the singing, Rachel Adedji sang first wearing a blue and white striped sweater with blue jeans and red heels. She sang Let Me Entertain You by Robbie Williams. Dannii said it was like Rhianna singing Robbie which I thought was an insult since Rhianna is garbage but I think she meant it as a compliment. Rachel Adedji had dancers all around her wearing make up like Kiss and Simon Cowell described it as repulsive. Her performance was pretty good though.

Kandy Rain were up next and were dreadful as usual. I'd be surprised if they make it through week 1. Kandy Rain sang Robert Palmer's Addicted to Love God rest his soul. Their outfits were terrible they just looked like trashy strippers which they are if you read the tabloids. One of them had a bow horn thing in her hair made out of....hair? Dannii and Cheryl said Kandy Rain were dressed too provocatively which led to a tasty argument between Simon and Cheryl. Rubbish. I'm not saying Kandy Rain are any worse than anyone else for their reasons for being on the show, they look desperate to be rich and famous and make as much money as they can. We were treated to the odd interlude by 'creative director' Brian Friedman like anyone gave a crap. He's the guy who always puts some backing dancers in roller skates.

Olly Murs was up next who seems to be the most boring man since Will Young. Yvie Burnett the vocal coach was on for dramatic effect. He sang Robbie Williams She's the One and was ok. Boring but a good performance. Olly Murs Fred Perry shirt looked cool with a skinny black tie. I noticed tonight that he dances like Chris Martin from Coldplay which is not a good thing. Robbie Williams said he wants to be Olly Murs mate. Olly Murs doesn't come across is fame hungry like the others but I'm sure if he was to make a bit of money out of an X Factor success he wouldn't be complaining.

Rikki Loney, do I really want to waste my time on this little toad? Seriously, he had on a purple suit tonight which made him look like Austin Power's retarded urchin brother. He even walked over to the piano to put on his silly little purple hat. His opening scenes showed him singing in The Old Ship Bank in Glasgow then right afterward he started going about how much he wants to get away from singing in pubs with people who aren't interested. So if you book the talent in The Old Ship Bank don't hire this little fool again as he thinks he's too good for your pub. Rikki Loney sang Amy Winehouse's Back to Black. Blah blah no one cares, don't vote him or Kandy Rain. He is one guy who I do think is only here for the fame and fortune! Don't buy his records folks (if he wins) he'll only spend the money on silly little hats.

Stacey Solomon, gallops on again like Red Rum in the Grand National. I think she's had the worst makeover out of everyone so far. She looked much better doing her own style. She sang some horrible version of The Scientist by Coldplay. It went over ok with the judges and the audience though. Stacey Solomon was wearing fitted blue jeans, a waist belt and a white Marilyn Monroe t shirt. Simon Cowell told Stacey Solomon that she's no idea how good she could be.

Miss Frank were excellent. One of the best performances of the night. They were all dressed smartly in black and sang Who's Loving You by the Jackson 5. Simon Cowell said the 'two bookends' were also excellent not just Graziella Affinita. I thought that was a bit unfair as Shar Alexandra and Shaniece Davis have been amazing through the competition it just seems that Graziella Affinita is getting all the attention. Simon couldn't even remember Shar Alexandra's name.

Jamie Archer was back with a trimmed afro. It still looks awful though. He came out wearing a blue military jacket with a white t shirt containing the album covers of punk bands such as the Sex Pistols just to show his rock star credentials. I think Jamie Archer was also wearing eye liner. Jamie Archer sang Get It on Bang a Gong by T Rex and was pretty average as usual.

Lloyd Daniels had his birdshit hair style back again and they had lots of closeups of his piercing blue eyes purely for the girls I'm sure. He looked really stiff on stage and interacting with the dancers was awkward. He sang Justin Timberlake's Cry Me A River but ducked all the high notes so I don't know why he tried to sing this? Lloyd Daniels dressed like Justin Timberlake too wearing a black waistcoat and hoody combination. Cheryl said he'll have a lot of girls crying rivers for him.

Lucie Jones escaped the dungeon that she lives in to make another appearance on the X Factor 2009 live Auditions. She sang Leona Lewis Footprints in the Sand. It's the first time I've heard this song and its truly awful. I think she ducked hitting the high notes as well but Lucie Jones did enough to get through. My favourite part was when the switched on the wind machine for dramatic effect but the only thing it did was blow Lucie Jones's hair in her mouth affecting her singing. She was wearing a purple dress in the style of a Greek Goddess. Pass.

John and Edward the Irish Twins have apparently been getting a hard time from the tabloids but it doesn't seem to affect them any. Robbie Williams seemed to be impressed by them calling John and Edward the Tornadoes of Talk. We were shown the twins sitting at a table reading the tabloids then throwing them away in disgust. They love the attention really. So on to John and Edwards performance. For a start they were lowered on to the stage. Cheesy. Their outfits were awful too. They wore black and white contrasting blazers with silver sparkly trainers which seemed to have little wings on them. Disgusting. They sang Robbie Williams Rock DJ which is a terrible song to start with so they didn't have much to work with. They were energetic dancing around but seemed to miss a few words here and there. Cheryl said that John and Edward can't sing, fact and its not their fault they're in the last 12. Oh the irony. Simon Cowell said it was a musical nightmare and that for them to win the competition it would be a disaster. He also said the only reason Louis put them through is because they're Irish despite the fact that no one in Ireland can vote. They kept flashing up the X Factor phone numbers as well but thankfully no one did the pretend phone hand thing begging for a vote. Give it time though. By week three they contestants won't care about pride or how much money you'll have to spend on a phone call for them its all about the votes!

Joseph McElderry was the next contestant singing Robbie Williams No Regrets. He was quite dull but did a decent version. Simon Cowell said Joseph McElderry was brilliant and a little dark horse. Joseph McElderry had this really ugly tan jacket on with a plaid shirt and hoody. I'm not sure if Joseph McElderry is someone who could be a commercial success? There is a bit of the Gareth Gates about and he did well as far as record sales and making money went so you never know. I'm sure Simon Cowell has a grand plan on how to cash in on him!

Danyl Johnson was sensational, he still has to be the favourite to win the competition. He's streets ahead of anyone apart from Miss Frank at this stage. They made a big deal about him singing a diva song for a women. The song was Jennifer Hudson's And I'm Telling You. He kept his outfit simple with a black jacket and white t shirt. Danyl Johnson was the only X Factor contestant I saw all night who didn't duck the high notes, he was excellent. Louis started off by saying he was too over confident and Danyl doesn't have the likeability factor which is a bit of a joke with him putting the Irish Twins through. Anyway, to perhaps my favourite part of tonight's show. Dannii Minogue tried to make a joke of Danyl Johnson's sexuality, he's gay or bisexual or something it doesn't really matter but Dannii felt the need to point this out and it totally bombed. Her exact quote was "if we're to believe everything we read in the papers there's no need for you to change the gender of the song". God knows what went through her head that told her it was a good idea to say this. Simon actually asked her to clarify it and she said it again. What does Danyl Johnson's sexuality have to do with anything? It's not really there for Dannii Minogue to make jokes about! When she said it you could actually see the tumbleweeds drifting by and Simon looked unsurprisingly irked. He actually told her off by saying that she shouldn't try to play these silly games. I felt bad for Danyl Johnson he looked a bit shocked by the comment and you could see he was getting upset. He actually mouthed back at Dannii that he wasn't ashamed...about what he is I guess? The crowd didn't like it either with a bit of booing going on. Simon said it was one of the best performance's he's ever heard and I have to agree. I can't see anyone challenging Danyl Johnson for the X Factor 2009 crown. You can almost see the pound signs flash in Simon Cowell's eyes with this guy he's going to make money for him on a serious scale.

Results of who's kicked out of the first X Factor 2009 live audition come tomorrow!

X Factor 2009 Live Auditions Episode 1 - Results

I'll cut to the chase, Kandy Rain got kicked out quite deservedly. Who knows how they managed to get through this far. They were up for going home with Rachel Adedji. Louis Walsh was absent because of Stephen Gately's untimely death. Simon Cowell paid tribute to Stephen Gately at the start of tonight's show. Dermot O'Leary opened with a snazzy black pine stripe suit with black tie and white shirt. The contestants came out singing that awful Black Eyed Peas song I Gotta Feeling which is just dreadful. It all was a bit strange with some of the contestants seemingly fighting for the camera. Olly Murs, Jamie Archer and Danyl Johnson were all battling it out. Then Graziella Affinita muscled in. This girl just has to hog the limelight. The weird thing was all the contestants wore different outfits tonight then when they were at the elimination stage they all changed back to last nights outfits? This is probably just as well since John and Edward were dancing around in white jeans and shirts. Awful. I'm glad to say Stacey Solomon had her curly hair back which suits her much better than straight hair.

Alexandra Burke was the first guest performer. The funniest thing about this was that she was miming horribly the whole time. Why get the winner of X Factor 2008 on then have her mime and pretend she's singing. Shame on you Alexandra Burke! Flo Rida was out to help her with her single Bad Boys. Alexandra Burke was wearing a gold coin chain link shingle dress. Back to the judges and Dannii Minogue apologised for last nights shameful comments about Danyl Johnson's sexuality. She actually had the cheek to suggest that she had been joking with Danyl before the audition and that he took the comments in good fun. Anyone who watched last nights show will know this is utter lies. Danyl was almost in tears and you could see him saying that he's not ashamed of what he is! We're supposed to believe he took it all in good faith? Come on, I think they're trying to sweep this whole thing under the carpet. Even Simon Cowell was in on the cover up saying nothing was meant with it. Sack her! She's useless anyway. Cheryl Cole has made her redundant.

Robbie Williams was up next with his latest atrocity. At least he sang live. He looked really spaced out at the end all wired to the moon. Perhaps he was just fired up from the performance heaven forbid I suggest Robbie Williams has been up to something else...hmm. Oh yeah, back to the contestants. Louis voted for Kandy Rain (even though he wasn't there), the two girls voted to send Kandy Rain home and Simon voted to send Rachel Adedji home. Weird. This took us to deadlock ouuu! This was flashed up on screen behind Dermot so we went to the number of public votes each person got. Not surprisingly Kandy Rain got the least and got kicked out. Rachel Adedji looked shocked and a bit pissed off to even be there I can't say I blame her. Kandy Rain sang Stronger by Christina Aguilera to stay in the competition but it didn't do them any good. Good choice Great Britain.

Next week Cheryl Cole will perform her dreadful solo single and Whitney Houston will be performing. I'm looking forward to seeing what effects being married to Bobby Brown has had on her voice.

X Factor 2009 Boot Camp Episode 1 Episode 2

X Factor 2009 Boot Camp got underway on Saturday the 26th of September 2009 and to be honest it was all a bit confusing! It's part of a double bill the second part coming up on Sunday the 27th of September and that's when we'll find out who officially got into the knockout stages of X Factor 2009. There will be 24 contestants who get through X Factor 2009 boot camp to the knockout stages. So I'll try and do a roundup of tonight's episodes which is easier said than done! X Factor 2009 boot camp was filmed some time in August in London's Hammersmith Apollo in front of 4000 X Factor fans. The show tonight was split in two, with the first auditions skipped through quite quickly. I'm still wondering who got through the X Factor 2009 Boot Camp in a lot of cases!

First group to sing on X Factor 2009 Boot Camp were made up of It Takez 2, the Pontins entertainers who now work in Alton Towers, Just Du-Et who I'd never seen before were they on the Xtra Factor? Alicia was also in it who I don't remember either. They sang Breakeven by The Script and were absolutely terrible. Alicia then admitted to Simon Cowell that she picked It Takez 2 and Just Du-Et on purpose so she would look much better. Alicia got through this round of X Factor Boot Camp with Just Du-Et and It Takez 2 going home. Alistair Nwachukwu and William Tackie were in the next group. William Tackie must be another Xtra Factor contestant as I can't remember him from the ITV1 X Factor 2009 Auditions. Alistair Nwachukwu is someone I do know however as he showed a lot of promise in the X Factor 2009 Auditions Episode 4. I don't think he got through tonight though as his singing was really off key. William Tackie is another one who fell tonight, he won't be going any further in the competition. Alistair Nwachukwu sang I'll be There by the Jackson 5 but it was a really bad audition. Andrew Fawcus? Another funny name which goes with his funny face. I'm not sure if it was make up or fake tan that Andrew Fawcus had all over the place. I had never heard of him he sang Hot N Cold by Katie Perry along with some unamed ginger girl. Louis Walsh praised Andrew Fawcus's dancing, which to be honest was terrible. They didn't go through. Amie Buck, the Megan Fox lookalike pole dancing stripper forget her lyrics again. She was supposed to be singing...I don't know to be honest. Amie Buck didn't sing enough of the words for me to understand it. So Amie Buck goes back to being a stripper. I think she only got through her first audition because of her looks so she can't have too many complaints.

Graziella Affinita was back with a sob story we seemed to have missed first time round. She was going on about her hard childhood and the usual rubbish. Graziella Affinita was in a group with Shar Alexandra and Shaniece Davis and I'd say they were one of the best groups on tonight's show. Cheryl Cole said they were killing it and should become a group. More on that later, we haven't seen the last of Graziella Affinita, Shar Alexandra and Shaniece Davis. Lucie Jones got through this stage singing Mariah Carrey's Hero. I'd still say Lucie Jones is one of the favourites to win X Factor 2009. Kandy Rain were back singing what I think was Apologize by One Republic. I thought Kandy Rain were rubbish again but what do I know. They got through this round. Joseph McElderry also got through singing Kings of Leon Use Somebody with all the judges saying how much they liked him. I still think Joseph McElderry is related to Cheryl Cole. Anyway enough of my conspiracy theories. Jamie Afro Archer got through this section despite being distinctly average. If it wasn't for his hair there would be absolutely nothing memorable about Jamie Afro Archer at all.

So how did the Irish Twins John and Edward get on in X Factor 2009 Boot Camp. Well they turned out to be just as annoying as everyone first expected. One of them did a front flip cartwheel thing on stage which was embarrassing. It looked ridiculous. They sang Apologize by One Republic along with Miss Fitz (who seemed to be missing a member but this wasn't mentioned on the show) and Sian Paley whoever she was. Another Xtra Factor contestant I assume? I don't know why they didn't explain where the other member of Miss Fitz went to either. Anyway, Miss Fitz and John and Edward got through with a bit of controversy. John and Edward were pretty terrible, they did some awful dance routine which was excruciating to watch. It was totally out of time with the song and all over the place. The worst part was when they missed there parts and sang over Miss Fitz and Sian Paley. Sian Paley seemed to suffer most and ended up getting booted out. Simon could be heard calling them brats and to be honest the only one who seems to like them and their stupid hair is Louis Walsh. He was comparing them to Wham or Bros. They annoying little twits even managed to upstage Sian Paley's exit interview by jumping out the doors wha-hooing at the camera as she stood there. Get John and Edward out of X Factor 2009 I've had enough of them already!

Treyc Cohen got through this first stage of X Factor 2009 boot camp. Treyc Cohen Joined Olly Murs who sang One Love by U2. Olly Murs seemed to cruise into the next stage. Shanna Goodhead got through the first stage of X Factor 2009 boot camp. Shanna Goodhead sang Hero by Mariah Carrey. William Hooper didn't get through though but he did well for an 82 year old. William Hooper was shown the night before offering to make everyone a cup of tea.

That was the first knockout round over with. We were now down to the last 100 contestants. They were split up into 4 rooms, 25 X Factor 2009 contestants in each room. The room with Danyl Johnson, John and Edward the Irish Twins, Lucie Jones all got through. I think the Leonna Twins got through as well or Sirens I think there name was? Surprisingly Graziella Affinita, Shar Alexandra and Shaniece Davis all got told that they were out which was silly since they were excellent. Turns out it was all part of Simon Cowell's masterplan to put them in as a group. This makes total sense as the groups have been awful this year. Looks wise Graziella Affinita, Shar Alexandra and Shaniece Davis aren't up to much but they have amazing voices. I think we should name them Shagra what do you think? Jamie Afro Archer, the guy from Chicago Ethan Boroian, Stacey Solomon and Lloyd Daniels also got through to the final 50.

Ok so on to the final part of X Factor 2009 Boot Camp episode 1. We were shown the auditions for the final 50 which will be reduced to the final 24 to compete on the live X Factor shows. We wont find out the result until tomorrow when the show the second part of the X Factor Boot Camp double bill. We were shown Joseph McElderry singing George Michael's Praying for Time. I thought he was overdoing it a bit but all the judges seemed to like it. Simon said it might be a couple of years too soon for Joseph McElderry. I think he's the new Gareth Gates. He'll go through. Nicole Jackson sang Stop Crying Your Heart Out by Oasis and it seemed to go well. Nicole Jackson will probably go through too. Ethan Boroian sang Paulo Nutini's Lay Down Beside Me and was very good I'd still say he's one of the favourites to win X Factor 2009. Rozelle Phillip sang Jennifer Hudson's You're Gonna Love Me and I thought she really overdid it. Rozelle Phillip was kind of grunting in to the mic at some parts! Daniel Fox was back with his operatic style singing With or Without you by U2. The judges seemed to like Daniel Fox but I'm not sure where he fits in to the X Factor! Lucie Jones sang Christina Aguilera's Hurt. She did an excellent job but the judges seemed concerned that she can only sing ballads.

Rachel Adedeji sang Paulo Nutini's Lay Down Beside me and was very good. The crowd loved it. Duane Lamonte was back we'll find out if he got through tomorrow. Trucolorz were pretty average. Trucolorz sang Gabrielle's Rise we'll find out if they got through pretty soon. Daryl Markham was back again singing I can't do it by Myself by Anita Bryant. Everyone seemed to enjoy Daryl Markham. Daniel Pearce was sporting a green mohawk tonight and did his own take on Prince's Purple rain. Personally it sounded to me like Daniel Pearce was gargling with listerine. Nicole Lawrence was last up and she was back on to her sob story about her dad dying and how he's watching over her you know the usual sentimental mystical rubbish. Whatever works for her I guess. She sang Jennifer Hudson's I'm telling you. The crowd and judges loved it I thought Nicole Lawrence was terrible and had to fast forward it. I couldn't listen to anymore of her growling in to the microphone it was scary. She had a few tears for Dermot at the end but we'll find out which of these contestants go through in tomorrows second part of the double bill. Danyl Johnson was hardly in tonight's I wonder if they're trying to tone things down a bit with the hype to give the other contestants a chance. Danyl Johnson was getting so much press after all. Jade Fubara was nowhere to be seen. Perhaps they did show some Jade Fubara and I missed it? Also Faye Bray the now infamous prison lecturer who turned up in lingerie for her X Factor audition didn't appear on tonight's show. M & G the Harrods guys were nowhere to be seen either! Curtis Moore the little boy with the tag on his leg wasn't shown too much either. Maybe after the press showed Curtis Moore with Knives on his Bebo page they kicked Curtis Moore off the show?

X Factor 2009 Boot Camp Episode 2 - The Results

Ok so ITV decided to string out the results of the boot camp auditions until Sunday the 27th of September 2009. They showed a few auditions for this on the 26th of September but the majority of the boot camp auditions were shown on tonight's episode. Behrouz Ghaemi was up first back with his leather trousers again. Behrouz Ghaemi is the guy from Iran or Persia as he called it who sang the Scissor Sisters at the X Factor auditions. He was back with his eye liner and his crazy eyes and did a really over the top version of Purple Rain by Prince it was pretty awful. This is a bit of a spoiler here as I'll tell you all the results at the end but Behrouz Ghaemi didn't get through. Treyc Cohen was up next and she was complaining about losing her voice and she did sound a bit husky compared to normal. She sang Ben my Michael Jackson and Treyc Cohen did get through the boot camp stage. I think she should get it on with Jamie Archer they could make little afro babies. Despina Pilavakis also sang Purple Rain by Prince and Despina Pilavakis qualified and got through the boot camp stage. Lloyd Daniels is the blue eyed blonde haired Welsh kid and this time sang Michael Jackson's You Are Not Alone. Lloyd Daniels got through boot camp to the next stage. Kandy Rain are the girl group I hate but just keep on marching through each round. Kandy Rain turned up this time in the Pussycat Dolls leftover clothes and got through to the next round by singing Stop Crying Your Heart Out by Oasis.

Jade Fubara was back! She wasn't shown much on last nights episode of the X Factor 2009 Boot camp. Unfortunately for Jade Fubara she didn't get through. Her audition at the boot camp stage was really overdone, she grunted and growled her way through Jennifer Hudson's And I'm Telling You. Shame I thought Jade Fubara was going to do well in the competition. Dominic Harris sang Paulo Nutini Lay Down Beside Me and I thought he did a pretty good job. It wasn't enough to get through however and Dominic Harris is out of the X Factor 2009. Miss Frank is the new name for Graziella Affinita, Shar Alexandra and Shaniece Davis girl group. Pity they didn't go for Shagra. Anyway, they got through singing Wishing on a Star. It was all pretty pedestrian from Miss Frank until Graziella Affinita started rapping and that got the crowd going and seemed to wake Simon Cowell up. I was sitting on couch cringing, I thought it was awful. Miss Frank got through the boot camp section which wasn't a surprise as the groups are terrible this year. Simon Cowell said they had no chemistry and that Graziella Affinita looks like she doesn't need the other two which is a bit rich since he put them together in the first place. Groups brings me on to Miss Fitz who didn't get through. They only had two members and no explanation was given as to what happened with the other girl. I didn't catch her name but she appeared in the group on Episode 2 of the X Factor 2009 auditions. She was the one who appeared on X Factor in the same year as Leona Lewis won it. I'm not sure if Miss Fitz split up or the girl left as she got a better record deal so I'm going to make something up. Miss Fitz pulled out of the competition due to cannibalism. The two surviving members of Miss Fitz got so hungry in the hotel room that they ate the other one and that's why Miss Fitz could no longer take part in the X Factor.

Thomas Calvert (?) forgot the words to I'll Keep Holding On. Thomas Calvert didn't qualify from the boot camp stage. Ivy Chanel (?) didn't qualify from boot camp as she also forgot her words. Scott James didn't qualify from boot camp as he forgot his words. Simon Cowell was heard saying that Scott James froze on stage. This was the guy who has autism and found it hard to leave his bedroom so we can understand him having trouble performing in front of 4000 people. I found Rikki Loney really annoying. He's one of these people who's so desperate to make it he'd step on his grandmother to get there. Despite the fact that Rikki Loney was terrible due to a throat infection the judges still put him through to the next round. Unbelievable. Rikki Loney sang Adele's Chasing Pavement and it was horrible. Olly Murs is still in with a good shot of winning the competition. Olly Murs got through bootcamp by singing Elton John Your Song and was very good. De-Tour another group with two guys were average singing Paulo Nutini Lay Down Beside Me and got through boot camp. I reckon if I grabbed a tramp from the street and came up with a witty group name we'd have qualified. Harmony Hood didn't get through in saying that, they sang U2 With or Without You. End of the road for Harmony Hood. Curtis Moore the little criminal didn't get through boot camp either. Curtis Moore sang Michael Jackson's You Are Not Alone and sounded ok. I guess he'll have to go back to robbing houses. Project A were another average group who got through. Project A sang Gabrielle's Rise and were no better than average. Stacey McLean was pretty good. She sang U2 With or Without You and Stace McLean marches on to the next round. Jamie Afro Archer also sang this song and got the crowd involved again. Very cheesy. I can't help but think it's to hide the fact that he doesn't have much of a voice. Jamie Archer got through to the next round. Stacey Solomon was excellent and sang There you'll Be. Stacey Solomon qualified for the next round. She was heard saying that she felt like her mouth was full of sand after coming off stage. Danyl Johnson, what a let down he was. After me moaning he was hardly in yesterdays episode it was probably just as well after this effort. He started off beat boxing which is always a no no and then Danyl Johnson burst in to Holding Back the Years by Simply Red. It was pretty average. Simon Cowell asked him at the end why he didn't try to sing any of it to the melody.

Ok so here's the round up of who got through X Factor 2009 Boot Camp:

Girls - Dannii Minogue
Stacey McLean
Despina Pilavakis
Nicole Jackson
Stacey Solomon
Rachel Adedji
Lucie Jones

Boys - Cheryl Cole
Lloyd Daniels
Ethan Boroian
Rikki Loney (you have to be kidding me?)
Daniel Fox
Joseph McElderry
Duane Lamonte

Over 25's - Simon Cowell
Jamie Afro Archer
Daniel Pearce
Olly Murs
Nicole Lawrence
Treyc Cohen
Danyl Johnson

Groups - Louis Walsh (absolutely no chance just look at this line up!!)
Miss Frank
Kandy Rain (haha)
Trucolorz
Project A
De-Tour
John & Edward (no comment)

I don't fancy Louis Walsh's chances...

X Factor 2009 Auditions - Episode 3

The X Factor 2009 Auditions Episode 3 aired on Saturday the 5th of September 2009. This time the X Factor Auditions came from Cardiff and Manchester with the usual mix of funny X Factor Auditions and amazing raw talent. So who were the superstar contestants of episode 3? The standouts for me were Jade Fubara, Lucie Jones and Lloyd Daniels. The biggest response seemed to be for the talented 17 year old Jade Fubara who sang And I'm Telling You by Jennifer Hudson. Cheryl Cole stated that she's an amazing raw talent and Jade Fubara really wowed the judges with her acapella version. I'm still not sure if the contestants this year are up to the same standard as the American Idol contestants but the country is of course much smaller!

Lucie Jones was the other stand out of the night against she's only a teenager at 19 and she sang an excellent version of I Will Always Love You by Whitney Houston. Lucie Jones had the audience eating out of the palm of her hands after she sang tremendously well putting her own slant on the song. Lucie Jones treated us to the usual small town montage, she's from Pentyrch wherever that is. I'm not sure if this is really a sob story though, surely she could just leave since she made it to Cardiff for the audition? Anyway the girl can sing so I doubt she'll be living in Pentyrch much longer. She reduced pretty much everyone to tears including her own mum and dad and Lucie Jones ended up getting a standing ovation. Simon Cowell declared it the reason why the X Factor comes to Wales.

Lloyd Daniels certainly went down well with the young girls in the audience. This blonde haired blue eyed 16 year old schoolboy started off his audition with Jason Mraz's I'm Yours but was quickly told to stop and start again by Cheryl Cole. I'm not sure if this was for the nerves or because it was a bad song choice. He followed up with an acapella version of R Kellys If I Could Turn Back the Hands of Time which went down a storm with Cheryl Cole grinning throughout. Cheryl actually proclaimed Lloyd Daniels was the first contestant she'd seen who had the X Factor. High praise indeed!

A couple of other mentions should go out to the wonderfully named Ashanti Webbe, a full time mum, 22 who sang I'm Goin' Down by Mary J Blige. Four yes's for her. Daniel Williams a 19 student rugby fanatic got through singing Let it Be by the Beatles. Personally I thought the two of them were pretty average but hey ho, off to bootcamp they go.

Funny X Factor Auditions! There were lots tonight, good job Manchester and Wales. They keep going on about how there's never been an X Factor winner from Wales so I'm starting to think they have some amazing talent hidden away that they know is already going to win. Maybe Lucie Jones will be the X Factor 2009 Winner? Anyway I'm getting sidetracked. Funny X Factor Auditions! Allan Busby, 23 and a barman, was up first on the show and reckoned he should win the X Factor simply because he's better than everyone else...brilliant! He sang a truly awful version of Billy Ocean's When the Going Gets Tough which was matched by a bizarre dance routine. Dannii Minogue told him he looked like he was being electrocuted. Dannii was going for one of her off the shoulder dresses again tonight showing off the X Factor Style. Allan Busby was there with his mum who seemed to know the whole audition was a disaster. After he finished host Dermot O'Leary had to give her a nudge to clap for her son. She looked just a tad embarrassed at son Allan Busby's efforts and no wonder. He actually forgot the words half way through with the crowd having to step in to fill in the blanks for him. His interview with host Dermot O'Leary was also quite funny he was blaming the heat on stage and the sweater he wore for his poor performance...hmm.

Gurdip Dhillon was a strange contestant. He's 50 and works as a Police Admin Officer. I didn't actually hear him sing he just danced to Pussycat Dolls Don't You Wish Your Girlfriend Was Hot Like Me. Tom Idelson was up next singing Prince's Kiss. I thought it was a girl at first but no Tom Idelson was just a very feminine little man who couldn't sing a note. He also tried to do the splits in skin tight jeans which didn't seem to be the best idea in the world.

Steve Loczy murdered Dolly Parton's 9 to 5 with Simon Cowell proclaiming that he no longer likes country music. Guy With Style (GWS) was up next doing an awful MC Hammer impression. After a few questions from Simon Cowell we found out GWS was actually Ian Russell, 25 and and unemployed. I'm not sure if this guy was for real or not, Simon Cowell told him he'd be the bottom of the list in any cabaret show.

2 Gorgeous 4 Words were pretty funny. They sang Lets Hear it for the Boys and were pretty terrible. It came to light that they had held auditions at their local college for band members. Only 12 people showed up so I'm left wondering what the other 9 were like. They seemed to be very gay friendly though going on the 'fans' they had watching back stage so perhaps 2 Gorgeous 4 Words could aim at that market? Ian Elsey was quite entertaining with his self written songs about Beef and Onion crisps, a lonely llama and shepherds pie till I die. Simon seemed a bit exasperated by the whole audition but the X Factor 2009 audience loved it. Dawn Thomas contributed to Cardiff's awful auditions by destroying Gnarls Barkley's Crazy. She actually sounded like she might have a decent voice but the whole audition was just wrong. Perhaps Dawn Thomas will be back next year. Gareth Evans was a chef who wanted to change his life since he liked...none of it. Wow. He won't be able to do it after his version of Angels was panned by the judges.

Ok now on to two strange auditions of the night! The X Factor wouldn't be the same without these characters. Combined Effort are Kirsty and Jack who were engaged to each other 3 days prior to the audition before Jack called it off. Unbelievably they had decided to continue with the audition and still work together. Jack blamed the break up on constantly fighting about things like doing the dishes and when they can go out etc. Simon Cowell actually gave them a bit of a grilling before they sang the song. So on to the audition, they ironically sang Starships Nothings Gonna Stop Us Now. That was until Simon Cowell stopped them. Jack lost it halfway through but Kirsty seemed to pull him through the rest of the audition. To round it up, they weren't very good but then Simon pointed out to them how good they looked together. Cheryl Cole got in on the act saying that she thinks they still love each other. Next thing you know Jack is asking Kirsty back out and telling her how much he loves her. Hopefully he didn't just get caught up in the moment and actually meant it...it's not really fair on the girl is it? So in the end, Combined Effort didn't go through to bootcamp but Jack and Kirsty did get back together. Aww!

Last and by no means least is Fouad Djaoublia a French waiter. Fouad Djaoublia moved to West London from France to realise his dream of becoming a popstar inspired by Mariah Carey. You know where this is going right? Well maybe you don't. I'm not quite sure what he sounded like, some sort of wounded animal? Simon Cowell stated that he sounded like someone from Star Wars and was speaking some unintelligible language that has never been spoken and never will be. He sang Vision Of Love by Mariah Carey first time around. I say first time because Fouad Djaoublia got to sing another song thanks to Louis Walsh and the X Factor audience. The second time he sang Hero with musical accompaniment and the crowd really got in to it creating one of those special X Factor atmospheres. The best part of it was it drowned out Fouad Djaoublia's singing. He looked like he was getting quite emotional which is totally understandable when you're in that position. So time for a reality check. He didn't get through and he looked devastated declaring to Simon that sometimes he gets it wrong. After leaving the stage he was ranting and raving about how he could have won with that audience support! Poor Fouad Djaoublia seems to be a bit delusional but I guess it could get quite easy to get carried away when you get 2500 people singing along with you.

So that's Episode 3 of the X Factor 2009 auditions completed! What will X Factor Episode 4 bring? I can't wait. For those of you who missed Episode 3 it's repeated as follows:

X Factor 2009 Auditions Episode 3:

5th September at 11:40pm on ITV2

6th September at 1:30pm on ITV1 London

6th September at 7:00pm on ITV2

Friday 11th September at 7:00pm on ITV2

September 7th Update:

Cheryl Cole Unveils New Single

CHERYL Cole has premiered her new solo single Fight For This Love on Radio 1 this morning and it seems to have gone down well with some fans. Others have complained about it being too over produced and robotic sounding. The song was played on the Chris Moyles breakfast show.

She's not only an X Factor judge but Cheryl Cole has become the first member of Girls Aloud to launch her solo music career today. Everyone is wondering if the lyrics are about her husband Ashley Cole cheating on her. The song states 'Anything that's worth having is sure enough worth fighting for. 'Quitting is out of the question, when it gets tough we got to fight for more. We got to fight for this love.' Full lyrics of Cheryl Cole's new single Fight For This Love is listed below:

Too much of anything can make you sick
Even the good can be a curse
Makes it hard to know which road to go down
Knowing too much can get your hurt
Is it better is it worse are we sitting in reverse
Its just like we're going backwards (backwards)
I know where I want this to go
We're driving fast but lets go slow
What I dont want to do is crash no

Just know you're not in this thing alone
There's always a place in me that you can call home
Whenever you feel like we're growing apart
Let´s just go back back back back back to the start
Oooh

Anything that´s worth having
Is sure enough worth fighting for
Quit is out of the question
We make a stop gotta fight some more
We gotta fight fight fight fight fight for this love
We gotta fight fight fight fight fight for this love
We gotta fight fight fight fight fight for this love
Its worth having its worth fighting for (Ooooh)

Now everyday aint gon' be no picnic
Love aint no walk in the park
All you can do is make the best of it yeah
Can't be afraid of the dark

Just know you're not in this thing alone
There's always a place in me that you can call home
Whenever you feel like we're growing apart
Let's just go back back back back back to the start

Anything that's worth having
Is sure enough worth fighting for
Quit is out of the question
We make a stop gotta fight some more
We gotta fight fight fight fight, fight for this love
We gotta fight fight fight fight fight for this love
We gotta fight fight fight fight fight for this love
Its worth having its worth fighting for (Oh)

I don't know where we´re heading
I'm willing and ready to go
We've been driving so fast
We just need to slow down and just roll

Anything that's worth having
Is sure enough worth fighting for
Quit is out of the question
We make a stop gotta fight some more
We gotta fight fight fight fight, fight for this love
We gotta fight fight fight fight fight for this love
We gotta fight fight fight fight fight for this love
Its worth having its worth fighting for (Oh)
We gotta fight fight fight fight, fight for this love
We gotta fight fight fight fight fight for this love
We gotta fight fight fight fight fight for this love
Its worth having its worth fighting for (Oh)