X Factor 2009 auditions episode 9 aired on Saturday the 3rd of October and once again it's part of an X Factor double bill with the second part showing on Sunday the 4th of October. This is one of those episodes where they show you all the auditions and then tease the results out until next day. So we don't know if Danyl Johnson, Miss Frank (Graziella Affinita) or Jamie Archer got through. Unless you're looking for X Factor spoilers and you'll be able to find out who the final 12 are already! I'll assume you don't have any X Factor spoilers at this stage and take you through what happened on tonight's episode. First off, there's 24 contestants left who are listed below. Oh and Jade Fubara definitely did not get through to the final 24. Faye Braye also seems to have fallen off the face of the earth.
Girls - Dannii Minogue
Stacey McLean
Despina Pilavakis
Nicole Jackson
Stacey Solomon
Rachel Adedji
Lucie Jones
Boys - Cheryl Cole
Lloyd Daniels
Ethan Boroian
Rikki Loney (you have to be kidding me?)
Daniel Fox
Joseph McElderry
Duane Lamonte
Over 25's - Simon Cowell
Jamie Afro Archer
Daniel Pearce
Olly Murs
Nicole Lawrence
Treyc Cohen
Danyl Johnson
Groups - Louis Walsh
Miss Frank
Kandy Rain
Harmony Hood
Project A
De-Tour
John & Edward
The only change from last week's line up is Trucolorz out for Harmony Hood. Trucolorz got kicked out for lying on their application form. One of the girls in Trucolorz was only 15 so perhaps we'll see them next year as they seemed pretty good. Harmony Hood have been thrown a lifeline but I doubt they'll get through since they're absolutely ghastly.
Ok so we started this round of X Factor 2009 with Cheryl Cole's boys. She had taken them to Marrakesh in Morocco and we were treated them all walking around the area and getting to know the locals. Joseph McElderry was up first and he sang Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word by Elton John. Joseph McElderry seemed a bit nervous but his audition was pretty good. Will Young was the guest judge in to help out Cheryl Cole and he seemed to be impressed. Lloyd Daniels overdid it a bit and was singing far too loud for me his voice was getting a bit distorted on the mic. He sang I'm Yours by Jason Mraz. Pretty average audition by Lloyd Daniels. The weird pop opera singer Daniel Fox was up next singing I can't live by Mariah Carrey. Daniel Fox has such a powerful voice but I'm not sure if his audition was that great. He seemed to be overdoing it a bit like a lot of the guys out there. Ethan Boroian the man from Chicago was up next singing Elton John's I guess that's why they call it the blues. I think Will Young was a fan of his looks more than his singing. Ethan Boroian was pretty average he seems to be quite confident in himself and so felt he didn't have to push it too much. Duane Lamonte followed Ethan Boroian singing Closer by Ne Yo and I thought he was excellent. Will Young also seemed to be impressed by Duane Lamonte. Rikki Loney was last to go for the boys. How the hell did Rikki Loney make it this far? He was back with his silly little hat on again and I think he sang You've Got a Friend by Carole King. To be honest I was too annoyed by his his hat and outfit to really pay attention. I really don't like Rikki Loney's voice either.
The X Factor auditions continued with the absolutely awful groups, Miss Frank aside. Guest judge for Louis Walsh's groups was Ronan Keating who is definitely start to look his age. Ronan Keating also had some weird thing going on with his hair, a sort of comb over effect perhaps trying to hide a bald spot? I don't know to be honest. Anyway Project A were up first singing What's Up by 4 Non Blondes. Was it any coincidence that Lord of the Rings was on the other channel at the same time these hobbits were destroying this song. I'm not a fan of Project A. Ronan Keating pointed out that they didn't have any chemistry which seemed to be a bit of a theme. My favourite group of all time Kandy Rain followed. Apparently they've all be outed this week for being strippers or work as porn stars some crap like that. I don't care as any controversy will just mean that I have to hear about Kandy Rain all the more. They sang Paparazzi by Lady Gaga which was just a complete disaster. Please don't put them through Louis. De-Tour, I can't even remember these guys. They had some strange matching white t shirt brace combination going on it didn't do them any favours. Ronan Keating said De-Tour's harmonies were terrible and he was right. De-Tour sang Tiny dancer by Elton John and were rotten. The groups are absolutely awful. I wish they'd put Miss Frank through then a few more boys or some from the over 25's section. Harmony Hood seriously where to start with this lot. They sang Never Can Say Goodbye which is an original of the Jackson 5. They were pretty terrible with Ronan Keating saying Harmony Hood just didn't work. I also think they're too ugly to be pop stars but that's just me. Miss Frank! Save us from this group mediocrity. We all know Graziella Affinita run's this group which is not to take anything away from Shar Alexandra and Shaniece Davis. They both have fantastic voices too it just seems like Graziella Affinita is overshadowing them with her antics. I'm not sure where Graziella Affinita is from though was it London? Miss Frank sang Respect by Aretha Franklin and were excellent. The best group by miles. Miss Frank will definitely get through to the last 12 of X Factor. Graziella Affinita actually did a Spanish rap in the middle of Miss Frank's song! Ronan Keating and Louis Walsh were obviously impressed. John and Edward the Irish twins were last to go in this section. They were back with their crazy hair and generally annoying personalities. John and Edward started on about how they wanted to inspire a new trend of people with big hair much the same as Britney Spears did with belly tops. I don't think so guys, you look ridiculous. John and Edward the Irish twins sang I Want It That Way by the Backstreet Boys. John and Edward were average as per usual and started to cry a bit at the end. That gave me a good laugh. I forgot to mention that for once Louis Walsh didn't take his contestants to Dublin but Lake Como in Italy.
Now on to some serious talent when the X Factor 2009 continued with Simon Cowell's over 25's. They were in Los Angeles for the auditions and guest judge was Sinitta. Sinitta came out naked with the exception of some banana leaves to spare her blushes? Why you ask? I have no idea. Perhaps Sinitta thought that someone other than Simon Cowell was actually interested in seeing her naked. So after that embarrassing episode Olly Murs kicked things off with his version of Michael Buble's A Song For You. Olly Murs did well but suffered from nerves which both Simon Coweel and Sinnita picked up on. Treyc Cohen was excellent she's a real dark horse for the competition and I really hope she get's through after this audition. Treyc Cohen sang Whitney Houston's He Fills Me Up. Treyc Cohen was definitely one of the best auditions for me the only down side was Simon saying she lacked that star belief whatever that means. Daniel Pearce was back with his green mohican singing Carrie Underwood's Praying For Time. I thought Daniel Pearce really overdid it with his voice failing him a couple of times. I did like Daniel Pearce's Samurai T Shirt however. Nicole Lawrence was going on about her dad being dead again. I thought we were done with all the sob stories at this stage? I really don't know what Nicole Lawrence sang as she was grunting, shouting and groaning her way through the song. I actually had to press the mute button she was overdoing it so much. I think Nicole Lawrence might have blown her chances of getting through to the X Factor final 12 but what do I know. Simon Cowell said she was incredible...hmm. Danyl Johnson also seemed to blow his chances by trying too hard. Seriously guys relax and let your talent shine through. Danyl Johnson sang Falling by Alicia Keyes and as I said really overdid it with his jittery dance moves and his crazy face snarling. Simon Cowell said Danyl Johnson was Marmite, you either love him or hate him. Jamie Afro Archer was last to go singing Stop Crying Your Heart Out by Oasis. This is the first time Jamie Archer has sang without the help of the audience which I've always given him a hard time about. He did well though and I liked his audition so I think Jamie Afro Archer should go through to the final 12.
Last but not least on this round of the X Factor 2009 auditions was the girls led by Dannii Minogue. Danni Minogue had taken them to some paradise hotel in Dubai and her guest judge was sister Kylie Minogue who dazzled in a green dress. Horse-faced Stacey Solomon kicked things off with Somewhere Over the Rainbow and did well. She seemed to struggle with her fake eye lashes though making her eyes go all droopy. Stacey Solomon did impress the judges however. The mahogany princess Stacey McLean was up next and would have been delighted to top up her fake tan with some real sunshine in Dubai. Stacey McLean was really nervous and her performance of Britney Spears Sometimes suffered because of it. Rachel Adedji was excellent and has been every time I've seen her. Rachel Adedji sang Pink's Nobody Knows and her voice was terrific. Despina Pilavakis was someone else who suffered from nerves and her voice was all over the place. Despina Pilavakis sang Christina Aguilera's Voice Within. I'd take a guess and say Despina Pilavakis won't make it to the final 12. Kylie Minogue didn't really have anything of value to add so unfortunately she seems as interesting as her sister Dannii. Lucie Jones the Welsh girl who makes out like she's kept in a dungeon in Mordor sang Anything For You by Gloria Estefan. I always wonder how the residents of Lucie Jone's home town of Pentyrch of her making out like she's wasted in that town and destined for bigger things. Anyway she was excellent and Lucie Jones has to go through. Last up was Nicole Jackson who to be honest I can't really remember. We had a bit of a sob story about how she hasn't spoken to her dad for a few years but hopes that if she gets through her dad will get in touch. I bet he will. So no pressure, Dannie and Kylie, you have to put Nicole Jackson through or she won't get to see her dad again. Nicole Jackson was doing really well until she broke down halfway through the audition. She picked it up amazingly well though and really impressed me. Danni and Kylie were almost in tears at the end.
All the results of who got through to the X Factor 2009 final 12 will come tomorrow!
X Factor Final 12 Results
Girls - Dannii Minogue
Lucie Jones
Rachel Adedji
Stacey Solomon
Groups - Louis Walsh
Miss Frank
Kandy Rain
John and Edward
Boys - Cheryl Cole
Rikki Loney
Lloyd Daniels
Joe McElderry
Over 25 - Simon Cowell
Danyl Johnson
Olly Murs
Jamie Afro Archer
Ok so let the rant start about the X Factor 2009 results of the final 12! First up the girls was pretty straight forward for Dannii Minogue. No major controversy as far as I'm concerned. Lucie Jones has been excellent and every round and has to be a favourite to win the X Factor 2009. Nicole Jackson messed up yesterdays audition in Dubai and so that was probably the main reason she didn't get through. Dannii Minogue said that she lacks confidence. Stacey McLean didn't get through as she isn't strong enough as a solo artist. What a tan though, I mean it's terrific isn't it? I hope Stacey McLean watches it back and tones it down a few shades. Rachel Adedji got through she's been amazing every round as well. Not sure about Rachel Adedji's new hairdo at the closing credits though? Looks a bit like a Grace Jones number from the 1980's. Despina Pilavakis is out as well, she messed up her audition in Dubai. I don't think she was good enough to win the competition anyway. Stacey Solomon was last to go through and she gallops on to the final 12. I didn't like her make over at the end but at least they got rid of Stacey Solomon's horrible fake eyelashes. Uggh!
Groups, what can Louis Walsh salvage from this train wreck. De-Tour didn't get through unsurprisingly. Louis said they didn't have the start quality so De-Tour are out. Miss Frank got through no surprises there. Miss Frank are the best group by miles and looked much better after the X Factor makeovers at the end! Harmony Hood had a little teddy bear with them I guess for good luck. Well done teddy bear you didn't bring them any! Harmony Hood are out as they should be for being generally crap. Kandy Rain. Wow there is no stopping these clowns. Louis put them through saying they were sexy but seriously Kandy Rain are awful. Project A didn't get through with Louish Walsh adding that they didn't have the wow factor or X Factor. I'd agree with that Project A didn't do anything for me. Last but not least is John and Edward the Irish twins. They got through too unbelievably. I'm not sure how the public will react to John and Edward but I guess we'll find out next week. Louis Walsh compared them to a young Boyzone so god help us all.
Boys, based on this evidence Cheryl Cole couldn't pick her nose properly. Her choices were absolutely terrible and she should be banned from judging anything for the rest of her natural life. She put Rikki Loney through! Can you believe that? The guy is awful. He has this weird eyebrow thing going on too which is in serious need of plucking. Unfortunately the X Factor makeover team disagrees as I saw it at the end credits! I don't understand why Rikki Loney got through he's absolutely no chance of winning the show. Ethan Boroian is out which I couldn't believe. He is so much better than Rikki Loney so I'm not sure what Cheryl Cole is thinking. Hopefully Ethan Boroian will go for American Idol and win it. Wow. Next ridiculous decision was to put Joseph McElderry though before Duane Lamonte. Duane Lamonte was sent home and was understandably upset by this. I thought he was excellent at his Marrakesh audition yesterday. I still think Cheryl Cole is related to Joseph McElderry! My favourite part was when she was going oh Joseph you know I have to put any sentimentality I have towards you aside and judge this fairly...you're through! What a joke. Again, does anyone really think he could win this? No! I think Duane Lamonte could have though. Lloyd Daniels got through as well and thankfully they fixed his hair at the end. Up until now he looked like a bird shat in his hair. They've given Lloyd Daniels a comb over do which looks much better. In conclusion I thought the judging of this was a complete joke. Cheryl you've done an awful job.
Over 25's didn't hold too many surprises either. Danyl Johnson got through, you can almost see the pound signs in Simon Cowell's eyes when this guy appears. After all the attention Danyl Johnson got in America he was always going to go through. Olly Murs also got in, I don't have anything to add to this other than I find Olly Murs extremely dull. Treyc Cohen didn't get through which I thought was a real shame. She had been excellent in all the rounds. Perhaps someone at X Factor HQ doesn't want another young black female singer winning it again this year? Three years in a row might be a bit of market saturation. Daniel Pearce didn't get through either. Simon gave him some weird reason about giving someone else a shot which is rubbish. If the guy's good enough give him another go! I thought Daniel Pearce was excellent too, shame he's out. Nicole Lawrence was finally put out of her misery. Most weeks she sounded like a wounded animal so Simon finally did the decent thing and sent her home. She's the size of a house. Jamie Afro Archer was the last guy to go through. Simon Cowell told him he'd be going home...with a ticket to the finals. Sneaky! Jamie Archer has to be another favourite to win the X Factor. They also trimmed his afro a bit at the makeover in the end.
Next week there's a double bill plus X Factor 2008 winner Alexandra Burke and Robbie Williams will be performing...oh job.
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