Saturday, 10 October 2009

X Factor 2009 - Live Auditions Episode 1 - Results

The first X Factor 2009 Live audition aired on Saturday the 10th of October 2009 with the theme of the show being musical heroes. This basically meant every second song was a Robbie Williams number since he was the guest. The theme every week is how Simon Cowell can make more money. We only saw Robbie Williams coaching the talent earlier in the day I'll assume we'll see him and Alexandra Burke on the new format results show which is being shown on Sunday the 11th of October. The judges came out to the usual dramatic X Factor music with the fireworks going off. Dannii Minogue had a magenta/purple floor length halter neck dress on. Cheryl Cole had a strange looking strapless, knee length golden sequined poofy ball skirt dress on. It was Simon Cowell's birthday so Dermot started things off by wishing him a happy birthday. Simon teased Dermot O'Leary about the state he was in at Simons calling it disgusting behaviour birthday party with Dannii Minogue adding that he was out till 5am. I've noticed that quite a few times people have said they 'want what the stars' want which is beginning to make everyone sound materialistic and only interested in making money! Maybe they are only here to make money who knows? Everyone wants to be rich and famous!

On to the singing, Rachel Adedji sang first wearing a blue and white striped sweater with blue jeans and red heels. She sang Let Me Entertain You by Robbie Williams. Dannii said it was like Rhianna singing Robbie which I thought was an insult since Rhianna is garbage but I think she meant it as a compliment. Rachel Adedji had dancers all around her wearing make up like Kiss and Simon Cowell described it as repulsive. Her performance was pretty good though.

Kandy Rain were up next and were dreadful as usual. I'd be surprised if they make it through week 1. Kandy Rain sang Robert Palmer's Addicted to Love God rest his soul. Their outfits were terrible they just looked like trashy strippers which they are if you read the tabloids. One of them had a bow horn thing in her hair made out Dannii and Cheryl said Kandy Rain were dressed too provocatively which led to a tasty argument between Simon and Cheryl. Rubbish. I'm not saying Kandy Rain are any worse than anyone else for their reasons for being on the show, they look desperate to be rich and famous and make as much money as they can. We were treated to the odd interlude by 'creative director' Brian Friedman like anyone gave a crap. He's the guy who always puts some backing dancers in roller skates.

Olly Murs was up next who seems to be the most boring man since Will Young. Yvie Burnett the vocal coach was on for dramatic effect. He sang Robbie Williams She's the One and was ok. Boring but a good performance. Olly Murs Fred Perry shirt looked cool with a skinny black tie. I noticed tonight that he dances like Chris Martin from Coldplay which is not a good thing. Robbie Williams said he wants to be Olly Murs mate. Olly Murs doesn't come across is fame hungry like the others but I'm sure if he was to make a bit of money out of an X Factor success he wouldn't be complaining.

Rikki Loney, do I really want to waste my time on this little toad? Seriously, he had on a purple suit tonight which made him look like Austin Power's retarded urchin brother. He even walked over to the piano to put on his silly little purple hat. His opening scenes showed him singing in The Old Ship Bank in Glasgow then right afterward he started going about how much he wants to get away from singing in pubs with people who aren't interested. So if you book the talent in The Old Ship Bank don't hire this little fool again as he thinks he's too good for your pub. Rikki Loney sang Amy Winehouse's Back to Black. Blah blah no one cares, don't vote him or Kandy Rain. He is one guy who I do think is only here for the fame and fortune! Don't buy his records folks (if he wins) he'll only spend the money on silly little hats.

Stacey Solomon, gallops on again like Red Rum in the Grand National. I think she's had the worst makeover out of everyone so far. She looked much better doing her own style. She sang some horrible version of The Scientist by Coldplay. It went over ok with the judges and the audience though. Stacey Solomon was wearing fitted blue jeans, a waist belt and a white Marilyn Monroe t shirt. Simon Cowell told Stacey Solomon that she's no idea how good she could be.

Miss Frank were excellent. One of the best performances of the night. They were all dressed smartly in black and sang Who's Loving You by the Jackson 5. Simon Cowell said the 'two bookends' were also excellent not just Graziella Affinita. I thought that was a bit unfair as Shar Alexandra and Shaniece Davis have been amazing through the competition it just seems that Graziella Affinita is getting all the attention. Simon couldn't even remember Shar Alexandra's name.

Jamie Archer was back with a trimmed afro. It still looks awful though. He came out wearing a blue military jacket with a white t shirt containing the album covers of punk bands such as the Sex Pistols just to show his rock star credentials. I think Jamie Archer was also wearing eye liner. Jamie Archer sang Get It on Bang a Gong by T Rex and was pretty average as usual.

Lloyd Daniels had his birdshit hair style back again and they had lots of closeups of his piercing blue eyes purely for the girls I'm sure. He looked really stiff on stage and interacting with the dancers was awkward. He sang Justin Timberlake's Cry Me A River but ducked all the high notes so I don't know why he tried to sing this? Lloyd Daniels dressed like Justin Timberlake too wearing a black waistcoat and hoody combination. Cheryl said he'll have a lot of girls crying rivers for him.

Lucie Jones escaped the dungeon that she lives in to make another appearance on the X Factor 2009 live Auditions. She sang Leona Lewis Footprints in the Sand. It's the first time I've heard this song and its truly awful. I think she ducked hitting the high notes as well but Lucie Jones did enough to get through. My favourite part was when the switched on the wind machine for dramatic effect but the only thing it did was blow Lucie Jones's hair in her mouth affecting her singing. She was wearing a purple dress in the style of a Greek Goddess. Pass.

John and Edward the Irish Twins have apparently been getting a hard time from the tabloids but it doesn't seem to affect them any. Robbie Williams seemed to be impressed by them calling John and Edward the Tornadoes of Talk. We were shown the twins sitting at a table reading the tabloids then throwing them away in disgust. They love the attention really. So on to John and Edwards performance. For a start they were lowered on to the stage. Cheesy. Their outfits were awful too. They wore black and white contrasting blazers with silver sparkly trainers which seemed to have little wings on them. Disgusting. They sang Robbie Williams Rock DJ which is a terrible song to start with so they didn't have much to work with. They were energetic dancing around but seemed to miss a few words here and there. Cheryl said that John and Edward can't sing, fact and its not their fault they're in the last 12. Oh the irony. Simon Cowell said it was a musical nightmare and that for them to win the competition it would be a disaster. He also said the only reason Louis put them through is because they're Irish despite the fact that no one in Ireland can vote. They kept flashing up the X Factor phone numbers as well but thankfully no one did the pretend phone hand thing begging for a vote. Give it time though. By week three they contestants won't care about pride or how much money you'll have to spend on a phone call for them its all about the votes!

Joseph McElderry was the next contestant singing Robbie Williams No Regrets. He was quite dull but did a decent version. Simon Cowell said Joseph McElderry was brilliant and a little dark horse. Joseph McElderry had this really ugly tan jacket on with a plaid shirt and hoody. I'm not sure if Joseph McElderry is someone who could be a commercial success? There is a bit of the Gareth Gates about and he did well as far as record sales and making money went so you never know. I'm sure Simon Cowell has a grand plan on how to cash in on him!

Danyl Johnson was sensational, he still has to be the favourite to win the competition. He's streets ahead of anyone apart from Miss Frank at this stage. They made a big deal about him singing a diva song for a women. The song was Jennifer Hudson's And I'm Telling You. He kept his outfit simple with a black jacket and white t shirt. Danyl Johnson was the only X Factor contestant I saw all night who didn't duck the high notes, he was excellent. Louis started off by saying he was too over confident and Danyl doesn't have the likeability factor which is a bit of a joke with him putting the Irish Twins through. Anyway, to perhaps my favourite part of tonight's show. Dannii Minogue tried to make a joke of Danyl Johnson's sexuality, he's gay or bisexual or something it doesn't really matter but Dannii felt the need to point this out and it totally bombed. Her exact quote was "if we're to believe everything we read in the papers there's no need for you to change the gender of the song". God knows what went through her head that told her it was a good idea to say this. Simon actually asked her to clarify it and she said it again. What does Danyl Johnson's sexuality have to do with anything? It's not really there for Dannii Minogue to make jokes about! When she said it you could actually see the tumbleweeds drifting by and Simon looked unsurprisingly irked. He actually told her off by saying that she shouldn't try to play these silly games. I felt bad for Danyl Johnson he looked a bit shocked by the comment and you could see he was getting upset. He actually mouthed back at Dannii that he wasn't ashamed...about what he is I guess? The crowd didn't like it either with a bit of booing going on. Simon said it was one of the best performance's he's ever heard and I have to agree. I can't see anyone challenging Danyl Johnson for the X Factor 2009 crown. You can almost see the pound signs flash in Simon Cowell's eyes with this guy he's going to make money for him on a serious scale.

Results of who's kicked out of the first X Factor 2009 live audition come tomorrow!

X Factor 2009 Live Auditions Episode 1 - Results

I'll cut to the chase, Kandy Rain got kicked out quite deservedly. Who knows how they managed to get through this far. They were up for going home with Rachel Adedji. Louis Walsh was absent because of Stephen Gately's untimely death. Simon Cowell paid tribute to Stephen Gately at the start of tonight's show. Dermot O'Leary opened with a snazzy black pine stripe suit with black tie and white shirt. The contestants came out singing that awful Black Eyed Peas song I Gotta Feeling which is just dreadful. It all was a bit strange with some of the contestants seemingly fighting for the camera. Olly Murs, Jamie Archer and Danyl Johnson were all battling it out. Then Graziella Affinita muscled in. This girl just has to hog the limelight. The weird thing was all the contestants wore different outfits tonight then when they were at the elimination stage they all changed back to last nights outfits? This is probably just as well since John and Edward were dancing around in white jeans and shirts. Awful. I'm glad to say Stacey Solomon had her curly hair back which suits her much better than straight hair.

Alexandra Burke was the first guest performer. The funniest thing about this was that she was miming horribly the whole time. Why get the winner of X Factor 2008 on then have her mime and pretend she's singing. Shame on you Alexandra Burke! Flo Rida was out to help her with her single Bad Boys. Alexandra Burke was wearing a gold coin chain link shingle dress. Back to the judges and Dannii Minogue apologised for last nights shameful comments about Danyl Johnson's sexuality. She actually had the cheek to suggest that she had been joking with Danyl before the audition and that he took the comments in good fun. Anyone who watched last nights show will know this is utter lies. Danyl was almost in tears and you could see him saying that he's not ashamed of what he is! We're supposed to believe he took it all in good faith? Come on, I think they're trying to sweep this whole thing under the carpet. Even Simon Cowell was in on the cover up saying nothing was meant with it. Sack her! She's useless anyway. Cheryl Cole has made her redundant.

Robbie Williams was up next with his latest atrocity. At least he sang live. He looked really spaced out at the end all wired to the moon. Perhaps he was just fired up from the performance heaven forbid I suggest Robbie Williams has been up to something else...hmm. Oh yeah, back to the contestants. Louis voted for Kandy Rain (even though he wasn't there), the two girls voted to send Kandy Rain home and Simon voted to send Rachel Adedji home. Weird. This took us to deadlock ouuu! This was flashed up on screen behind Dermot so we went to the number of public votes each person got. Not surprisingly Kandy Rain got the least and got kicked out. Rachel Adedji looked shocked and a bit pissed off to even be there I can't say I blame her. Kandy Rain sang Stronger by Christina Aguilera to stay in the competition but it didn't do them any good. Good choice Great Britain.

Next week Cheryl Cole will perform her dreadful solo single and Whitney Houston will be performing. I'm looking forward to seeing what effects being married to Bobby Brown has had on her voice.

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