Saturday, 7 November 2009

X Factor 2009 Auditions | Live Show 5 | Movie Songs | Arguments and Ghostbusters!

It was live show 5 on Saturday the 7th of August and the theme tonight was Movie Songs. There was no special guest mentor this week so we were treated to the X Factor contestants attending the new Disney movie A Christmas Carol. It always gives the contestants a taste of the good life before it's cruelly snatched away from their desperate fingers.

The judges came out to the sound of Star Wars being blasted out behind them. Cheryl wore a knee length black shift dress with a cross over the chest area. Dannii looked every bit the Greek Goddess with a floor length white one shoulder strapped dress with a high slit up the side.

Stacey Solomon was our first contestant and I'm really starting to wonder how they'll handle her if she win's the contest. Every time I hear her talk it makes me cringe with that stupid giggly buffoon like voice. Can you really see her being interview by Oprah? Nah me either. Her opening scenes were filled with her making strange pig noises that I think was her laughing. Anyway she sang Dusty Springfields Son of a Preacher man from the movie Pulp Fiction. It was pretty boring overall. They tried to turn Stacey Solomon sexy without much success dressing her up in black leather trousers, tank top and then topped off with a nice cardigan. Sexy! She had on a strange medallion as well with pearls on it. Cheryl said she looked sexy and confident. Simon disagreed comparing her to Chinese food as he didn't feel anything afterward only that he was still hungry. She blurted it I feel good in that bumbling idiotic way she speaks but Simon didn't catch it and had to ask her to repeat. The crowd goes wild and Simon I guess took pity on her and left it at that. Dannii said Simon Cowell is obviously out of touch which made me laugh for all the wrong reasons.

Olly Murs is the biggest cheese monger on here I really can't take him seriously. He came out in a black suit with skinny tie singing Twist and Shout by the Beatles. It's apparently from Ferris Bueller's Day Off. This was truly atrocious. At one stage he burst into the thriller dance routine with his cheesy dancers behind him. Louis said that he didn't like the silly dancing or song. Simon was drawing Louis dirty looks by this point. Dannii said he looked like he didn't believe what he was singing by this point the Olly Murs fan club in the crowd kicked into overdrive singing "Olly Olly" which drowned out the judges. I also noticed he has a unibrow tonight.

Lloyd Daniels was up next with those dead eyes of his. Seriously look into them there's absolutely nothing going on in there. The kid creeps me out. He was wearing a checked shirt and white t shirt underneath and sang Stand By Me. Lloyd Daniels is the only constestant who seems to be getting worse as the weeks go by. Tonight was terrible his voice was all over the place and he warbled his way through to the end. He went over to Cheryl at one point to sing directly to her which again made me cringe. Louis Walsh told Lloyd Daniels that he was out of his depth in the competition and that there are four other male vocalists who are better than him. Simon Cowell started on about how it was like having tea with your mum then I guess he realised he might be offending his own mum and quickly apologised. Simon told Lloyd Daniels that his voice wasn't big enough for the song.

Jamie Archer sang Crying by Roy Orbison claiming it was from movie called Gumbo that no ones ever heard of. At the end he said it was also in Mulholland Drive which is weird as I don't know why he didn't say this from the start. This would have saved us from having to listen to Simon and Louis arguing about who was cheating. He did a pretty average job with the song, didn't do anything for me to be honest. He was going to sing Unchained Melody at first with Cheryl saying it was a good idea to change this as it would have been cheesy. Simon pointed out that it was going to be the U2 cover version adding that you should look it up on YouTube! sweetheart. Nice and patronising. Louis then accused Simon of cheating by picking some obscure film.

Lucie Jones sang a song from Camp Rock (what?) called This is Me. She had a bad spot outbreak on her chin again they need to get this girl some Clearasil to sort out her acne. She wore blue jeans, brown boots, black sparkly top and a short black military jacket over the top. Simon said it was the first time Lucie Jones has made herself relevant. Cheesy pop rubbish.

Danyl Johnson was sporting a new shorter hair cut that made him look a bit like Ashley Cole which is maybe why Cheryl was complimenting him on it so much. He sang Purple Rain by Prince and was dressed all in black. He started off his song by sitting down on some see through platform. Simon said Danyl did an outstanding vocal with Dannii warbling on about something. Is he really supposed to take advice from Dannii Minogue??

Jedward! Oh Jedward you are starting to grow on me. Full Ghostbusters routine from these guys complete with boiler suits, proton packs, yellow toy guns, Ghostbusters Car, a few Ghosts and a girl dressed like Sigourney Weaver from Ghostbusters. They showed a clip at the start where apparently Prime Minister Gordon Brown had said that Jedward weren't very good. No shit! But they're entertaining the nation and especially all the kiddies out there. John and Edward said they had always wanted to be Ghostbusters when they were little but hadn't been brave enough. They were also spotted at the start wearing t shirts which said "Vote Jedward" which are bound to be a big Christmas hit...maybe. They started off the performance by sitting in the Ghostbusters car until some spooks came out to scare them. They did a little talking part again with Edward shouting, John save me! With John replying don't be a baby...My favourite part was when the Marshmallow Man came out at the end to join in on the second Thriller dance routine of the night. Dannii said that they either talk or rap but don't sing. I thought this was hilarious again. She's not even fit to give the Irish Twins advice. Simon even said they were good in a childish sort of way. Dermot thanked Louis for suggesting that Jedward were the the antidote for the recession. This was a little prelude to argument they were about to have.

Last up was another cheese monger Joe McElderry who Dermot introduced as Geordie Joe. Boring. He sang Circle of Life from the Lion King and was cheesy and crap. Most of the judges suggested he was more musical theatre than pop star with Dannii adding that he was the strongest male in the competition. Simon disagreed with this and then Cheryl started on about some rubbish about him being like her little brother which I've said right from the start! Fix! Louis and Dermot then started arguing with Louis pointing out that Dermot wasn't a judge but Dermot had the last laugh saying the audience was the real judge.

Results to follow!

Lucie Jones Kicked Out!

Dermot O'Leary kicked off the results show looking snazzy wearing a purple satin tie. Tonight when the judges came onstage they played the theme to the Superman movie which was a bit weird I thought. Anyway, Dannii did not look good tonight with her pageboy hairdo and strapless ivory knee length dress with white line geometric details. The only nice thing she was wearing was a silver heart necklace. Cheryl looked better wearing red/pink or if you want to be picky fuchsia colored mini shift dress. Cheryl definitely had the major hair extensions going though!

Why the contestants continue to mime a song at the beginning of the results show is beyond me. This week they mimed Hot N Cold by Katy Perry. All the contestants wore red/pink and tartan type outfits. Jedward must of really loved this song because they were really into the song and getting down. When Jamie Archer sang his voice was changed using a vocoder, come on that's not live! There's not much to say about this bit except that once again it was pretty cheesy.

Then it was onto some of the unseen backstage footage from Saturday. Stacey Solomon was being cheeky to Simon but it was beyond me what she said to him something about being vulnerable but I cannot understand a word horse face says!

Louis and Cheryl had it out when Louis told Cheryl that Lloyd was out of his depth and at least you still have Joe. Cheryl was angry at his comment and said yeah and you have John and Edward, good luck with THAT!

Jamie Archer claimed just because his song was unknown didn't make it cheating, but yeah I still can't find anything about that movie so I think it was. Simon snipped that Louis should have been a traffic warden.

Danyl Johnson commented backstage that Cheryl finally likes him because with his new haircut he looks like her husband. John and Edward came offstage and were comedic even then, Edward was so distracted by a girl that he forgot to keep up with John and talk to the camera.

Black Eyed Peas performed their new single Meet Me Halfway, and it was pretty terrible. Fergie made her entrance by being lowered onstage standing on a giant moon. Then Wil.I.Am came flying in over the audience and once onstage proceeded to play a keytar. The song was not catchy at all and the performance was pretty boring to say the least. When Dermot interview the Black Eyed Peas Wil.I.Am said that Cheryl was the coolest and Fergie commented that she had a crisis with her shoes and thanked Cheryl for letting her borrow hers.

After that Dermot called Louis mardy bum saying that they had made up and gave Louis a kiss on the forehead, aw.

Next up was X Factor winner Leona Lewis, she sang her new single Happy. She wore a strapless black sparkly sweetheart top and a full floor length black taffeta skirt. Also, I don't know who did her makeup for this but she looked like a tranny! With the white eyeliner and heavy black eyeshadow, big mistake. Once again this was another boring song with a performance that was nothing special. Alexandra Burke's performance a few weeks earlier really put this to shame. Leona also seemed to look like she had crazy eyes.

Right so the bottom two this week were a shocker: Lucie Jones and Jeward

Lucie sang One Moment In Time by Whitney Houston for her survival. She was off-key in the first part of the song and looked pretty nervous. However, towards the end of the song she got it together, sounded good, and looked confident.

Jedward sang Rock DJ by Robbie Williams for their survival. This was actually a smart move since like Robbie they cannot sing to save their life, but they are good entertainers. They did some crazy dancing during the song, kicked each other in the bum, and jumped into the crowd at one point. After their performance it was a mix of cheers and boo's.

Louis voted to keep Jedward, Dannii voted to keep Lucie, Cheryl voted to keep Lucie, and Simon was the wildcard by voting to keep Jedward even though he said he hated them all this time, he quickly changed his tune by saying I'd rather see John and Edward again and made the vote a deadlock.

Shockingly Lucie received the lowest number of public votes and was kicked out! She was obviously really upset and started crying, one of the twins tried to console her, but she pushed him away, ooh! However, when Dermot asked her for a reaction she kept it diplomatic and just said I'm gutted but John and Edward deserve to be here, they work the hardest out of anyone.

Can Jedward hold on? Tune in next week when the guests are Shakira and the X Factor contestants will perform the X Factor charity single for the first time...

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