X Factor 2009 | Wham George Michael Night | Live Show 7 | Sexy Olly Murs

Well tonight's show on Saturday the 21st of November 2009 should have been a campy song spectacular, but instead was fairly disappointing. Of course we need to begin by talking about the judges outfits. I really don't know what was going on with Cheryl Cole's outfit tonight, but she was wearing a hot pink mini dress with sweetheart neckline paired with black studded ankle boots. She also wore a big black bow in her hair that made her look like Minnie Mouse. So basically it was a cross between a brown haired Barbie, Minnie Mouse, and a hobo. Honestly, the way her hair was styled she looked a hot mess like she'd just gotten out of bed or had sex. Also, she was all greased up like once again she had just had sex or was going to the wrestling after X Factor. Dannii Minogue was actually the normal one this week wearing a colorful tropical floor length flowy halter neck dress.

First to kick off the night was Lloyd Daniels. For some reason he looked like he had aged in the past week and appeared to look more mature facially. Hmm, perhaps since Ashley Cole affair doesn't seem to have time for Cheryl you know it wasn't him flying down to London to give her a roll in the hay so perhaps Cheryl made a man out of Lloyd by sleeping with him. We know Ashley Cole naked pics are flying around all over the internet...Anyway, this week all the contestants got to take a day to visit their friends and families back home. Lloyd went back to Treharris in New South Wales to his mum's house to visit his parents and grandpa. Finally, this week someone decided to fix that awful hair of his and Lloyd had a new hairstyle tonight. Lloyd's hair was spiked up and he looked a lot better although on the downside he did kind of look like Nick or Aaron Carter now. Lloyd sang the song Faith while wearing a white t shirt that had the image of a hoody printed on it, so a faux hoodie t shirt? I found the whole performance really cheesy as usual and he should really be part of a boy band rather than trying to be a singer on his own. He definitely didn't have the same attitude as George Michael to pull off a song like that. Simon must have thought it was cheesy as well because during the performance he was holding his nose either to stifle a laugh or because someone farted perhaps? Louis commented that he loved everything but the voice and he has a great image. Simon said that he wasn't bad at all and he looked at lot better, also that this week he started to feel believable. Dermot got a dig at Louis black and white polka dot bow tie by saying he's not the only one who's got a great image Professor Yaffle. Yaffle? That was the best Dermot could come up with?

Next up was Stacey Solomon aka horse face. She went home to visit her mom and son Zack in Dagenham. She also went to visit friends at Havering College. I don't know how she can have friends since no one can understand what she is saying! Stacey wore a black mini fitted dress with a sparkly sequin middle panel while she sang I Can't Make You Love Me. Personally I'm going to pull a Louis here and say that was cheating since that is actually a Bonnie Raitt Song and not a George Michael original. Stacey was a bit pitchy during the song especially in the beginning. Louis told her that she had star quality. Simon said that it wasn't as good as last week, this performance was a little too mechanical.

Now the act everyone waits all week for Jedward. John and Edward went back home to Dublin to their parent's house. They also went to visit friends at their school at the Institute of Education. One of the twins friends, Diandra, was wearing a Jedward t shirt that said We've Got It and had a black silhouette of the boy's heads and blond spiky hair. Jedward also visited their running club at the Dundrum Athletic Club. There another friend wore a blue t shirt that read I Heart John and Edward. I was so hoping they were going to sing Wake Me Up Before You Go Go but they didn't and I was extremely disappointed! How could they not choose to sing that song?! Instead they sang I'm Your Man mixed with the Wham Rap. Jedward wore matching white t shirts that had Choose Life in hot pink writing, they also had white/hotpink sport jackets, white trousers, and multi-colored trainers . This week I was surprised because the twins actually looked a bit uncomfortable doing the crazy, ridiculous dancing. All the backup dancers wore silver shiny suits, however most of the male dance were topless which I found a little weird. The boys stood on scaffolding above the stage, was this because they were scared that Calvin Harris would come back to get them? Most of the backup dancer were breakdancing and spinning on their heads. Jedward looked most confident while they were rapping so I think they need to keep that up each week. Dannii told the boys that this week the singing was in tune but the rapping was out of time. WRONG! Dannii the rapping is the only thing their good at! Simon said that it wasn't George and Andrew, it was more Andrew and Andrew. He also added that Louis has turned them into his version of the Action Man Dolls. However, even Simon could not deny that Jedward is an unstoppable machine. Louis finished by saying that the show would be no fun without them.

Simon introduced Danyl Johnson by getting a dig in at Jedward by saying just singing is Danyl Johnson. Danyl went back to visit his flat in Arborfield. He met up with his housemates and they all went for a drink down at the Swan Inn in Reading. He also went back to visit Elstree School where he used to be a teacher. Danyl wore a brown leather jacket, white t shirt, and black trousers. He sang the song Careless Whisper and did a decent enough job, but I didn't think it was anything extraordinary. Dannii told Danyl that he sang the song perfectly. Louis said that he tried too hard and that Simon was making it very difficult for him. Simon fired back by saying Louis would have you up on the scaffolding wearing a silly shirt! The crowd began chanting Danyl in support.

Olly Murs went back to Whitham to visit his parents, where he claimed that he wasn't a mummy's boy but you could clearly see he is! He went to his local pub The George with some friends for a few drinks. He also visited his old workplace the Climate Energy Offices. On a side note I also noticed Olly was wearing a funky Liberte t shirt with a black and white eagle on it and I wondered where he got it? For the performance however he kept it simple wearing a black shirt and black trousers. He sang Fast Love and was out of tune for most of the song. This was really not a good song choice for his voice. All his backup dancers were wearing black PVC suits and gyrating trying to be sexy, but it just ended up looking stupid. Louis said that everything about Olly Murs is real. Someone in the crowd shouted OLLY WE WANT YOUR BABY! Both Olly and the judges just laughed. Simon said that Olly would have no problems with the chics went he leaves this show, he also said he was great.

To close out the night was Joe McElderry aka Geordie Joe. He went back to South Shield in Newcastle to visit his parents and grandma. He also went to Newcastle College Rye Hill Campus to visit some friends. He sang Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Me wearing a black biker jacket, gray t shirt, and black trousers. Although once again this is technically not really a George Michael song but rather an Elton John one he did a really good job. I have to say that Joe is winning me over believe it or not. He was definitely the best performance of the night by a long shot. After Joe's performance all 4 judges stood up to give him a standing ovation. Unheard of! Louis agreed with me and told Joe that he was the best performance of the night. Of course after that compliment Louis had to go into his rant about cheating. I mean at least George Michael sang the original with Elton rather than just a cover like Stacey! Simon was a bit riled by Louis comments and said new rule! we're not going to stop you from speaking! He also added that you've got your silly, stupid little rule book who cares what you think?! Cheryl just smiled and gave Joe 2 thumbs up.

Jedward Kicked Out! Oh No!

The shocking results show began with Cheryl wearing another hot pink mini dress with a very plunging neckline and looking all greased up again! Dannii wore a floor length plum shift dress with a black belt around her waist.

All the contestants mimed Wake Me Up Before You Go Go by Wham and it was Joe who gave it away this week since his lips weren't moving in time with the music. Olly Murs switched up tonight from his usual Fred Perry shirt to a Kappa shirt. All the contestants were jumping around like fools wearing similar white outfits with neon colors. Stacey Solomon got to wear something a little different which was a white dress with hot pink hearts on it. The whole performance was super campy, but not in a good way.

Dermot announced tonight that the X Factor charity single was #1 in the charts this week and Leona Lewis had the #1 album.

Susan Boyle aka Subo kicked off the performances tonight by singing her new single Wild Horses original written and sung by the Rolling Stones. Come on they're having Subo sing covers to launch her career they need to come up with some original material! Anyway there was a noticeable difference to Susan's looks, Simon gave her the super Hollywood makeover that's for sure. She really didn't seem to put any emotion into singing the song so I found the performance a bit dull. When Dermot went to interview Susan it was really awkward with long pauses. She just said things she's said a million times before like it's bloody fantastic and look out my public. Look out for what Susan? Another stint in rehab perhaps?

Mariah Carey was up next and her performance was recorded earlier in the week since she couldn't be there on Sunday. I was suprised to see Mimi miming her songs since she's usually known for singing them live, I guess she's getting a little bit lazy these days. Speaking of lazy she's another one that couldn't bother with good original material and sang a cover of I Want To Know What Love Is by Foreigner. At the end she had a rainfall of butterfly confetti which Dermot seemed to really love for some reason. Basically she didn't have anything interesting to say just the usual nonsense that she loves Simon.

The Bottom Two were: Olly Murs and Jedward. When this was announced the crowd went crazy booing Jedward and chanting OLLY!

Jedward decided to sing No Matter What by Boyzone and I was really surprised they did a pretty good job actually singing. Although, during their song they looked scared and like they couldn't put any effort in the performance or stage presence. It was almost like they already knew they were going to be voted off this week hmm... couldn't someone like Simon Cowell have already told them to try to save face for the X Factor but they will secretly still get some silly record deal anyway? Once again after the twins performance they received a big round of boo's from the crowd.

Olly chose to sing Wonderful Tonight by Eric Clapton and I have to say he did a pretty bad job. He was pitchy throughout the song and he really doesn't have enough power in his voice to pull off any big songs.

Simon voted to keep Olly and added if you boys go tonight I will really miss you, Louis voted Jedward, Cheryl voted Olly but blew kisses to Jedward and one of the boys I think Edward caught the kisses, and Dannii didn't know whether to judge this as a singing competition or not while she kept asking the question no one decided to answer her and she voted for Olly.

Olly pretend to look like he felt sorry for the twins but you know he didn't really. Jedward said that they hope Stacey and Olly go all the way. They also added that being on X Factor is the coolest place to be in the world.

Next week the guests will be Alicia Keys and Rhianna...

X Factor 2009 | Queen Night | Live Show 6 | Jedward Spectacular

The theme of tonight's episode on Saturday the 14th of November, 2009 was the song of the legendary band Queen. I must say that tonight's episode was filled with drama! To kick off the night as the judges walked onstage they played Flash Gordon, why not a Queen song? Both Cheryl Cole and Dannii Minogue looked better tonight. Cheryl was wearing a sparkly black mini dress with a V neck and black high heels. Dannii was wearing another flesh colored floor length strapless flowy style dress. She was wearing a very distinct chunky silver stone or maybe seashells necklace.

Simon kicked off the cattiness for the night by retaliating to some comments made earlier in the week by the singer Sting. Personally, I would have thought that Sting was too busy off saving the rain forest to watch X Factor, but hey you learn something new everyday. Apparently Sting said that all the contestants on this year X Factor were a bunch of karaoke non-hopers. Ouch! Simon fired back by saying Sting I extended an invitation for you to come on the show and impart you knowledge to the contestants that need your help. Very cheeky and I loved it! Simon also replied to the backlash he has received on his decision to keep Jedward last week. He said I will never use tactics, and I didn't feel strong enough about either contestant, I trust the public. He finished by saying to Lucy that he was very proud of her and she left the show with dignity.

Ok onto the singing!

Jamie Archer met Brain May and Roger Taylor from the band Queen, except he was wearing an AC/DC shirt what's up with that? For the performance he wore maroon satin trousers, a black tshirt, and black trousers. Jamie sang a less than average version of Radio Gaga. His voice really did not mesh well with the Queen song he picked. Before commenting on Jamie's performance Dannii said pyros excite me which I found a little weird. Anyway, she said that he couldn't match his voice with the style of song. Louis really stuck the boot in tonight by telling Jamie that you're only an ordinary singer with a small voice and big hair. Ooh! Cheryl told him that she didn't like his hair and Jamie taken aback said WHAT?! She clarified by saying I don't like it curly, but I'm glas you got rid of the jeans this week. Jamie responded the same as always by saying the public are the only ones that count. Hopefully the public will kick him out this week!

Lloyd Daniels began the night looking like a big idiot in the footage before he met Queen he said I don't know who Queen is, I wasn't born until the 90's. Come on now! That's no excuse people born in every decade know who Queen are. He wore a red and black check shirt, skinny red tie, and black trousers. Lloyd sang Crazy Little Thing Called Love with his backup dancers wearing black PVC mini dresses and hearts. Cheryl promised that tonight's performance would be cheeky however, it really ended up looking more cheesy than cheeky. Although I will say that the song was a good choice for his voice. On a side note he's only supposed to be 16 how come he has a tattoo on his wrist and furthermore what is the tattoo supposed to be? Anyway, Dannii said that it was his best performance yet. Simon came back with one of his famous similes by saying you're like a puppy taking part in the Grand National. He also added that this competition is too big for him, but at least you're having fun.

Olly Murs was next. There was a whole big story before his performance about how he had an accident with his hand. Apparently he and the twins (Jedward) were fooling around hitting a punch bag and Olly accidentally hit the metal bar instead of the bag. It resulted in him cracking a knuckle above his pinky. The footage then showed him getting full arm cast and a sling. Is that really necessary for a broken pinky?! I think they were hamming it up and playing on sympathy personally. I also have a conspiracy theory that Jedward moved the punch bag on purpose to try and knock out the competitors one by one. Look for other "accidents" in the coming weeks.... This is the thing that really gets me while Olly had to have a full cast only the day before, for his performance all he had on was a wrist guard! Olly sang Don't Stop Me Now wearing a fitted gray Fred Perry shirt, skinny gray tie, and black trousers. I'm obsessed with where to buy Olly Murs Fred Perry shirt. At one point Olly tried to look cool by sliding to the edge of the stage, instead he slipped and nearly fell. Once again his voice did not suit this type of music at all. To make up for that fact he started doing stupid shoulder shakes, robot style dancing, popping the Olly Murs bulge, and gyrating his hips. Scandalous! This dancing really had nothing to do with Queen so just looked ridiculous. Danni said that the song swallowed his vocals. Louis said that Olly reminds him of Robbie Williams, Gary Barlow, and Will young except probably better. Probably? That's not very convincing Louis.

Joe McElderry aka Cheryl's little brother aka Geordie Joe was up next. He wore a gray shirt, gray waistcoat with a hood, and black trousers. He had about 20 backup singers helping him out while he sang Somebody To Love. While I don't usually like Joe I have to say this week he put on a good performance and his voice really suited this song. I was pretty entertained during his song. Louis felt that the choir helped him an awful lot. Simon fired back by saying I'm assuming that's in your little rule book? He also said that he felt Joe was better last week. Cheryl thought Joe was wonderful and told Louis and Simon both to shut up since they kept interrupting her.

Jedward I have to say is quickly becoming my favorite act on X Factor. It seems as though I'm not the only one, Simon said in the before performance footage that they've won him over a little bit. Once again Jedward wore a Beatles and Michael Jackson tshirt to meet Queen, where's the respect people? I also thought it was a little weird that another day they were wearing matching Custom Deluxe hoodies. For their performance Jedward sang Under Pressure. However, nothing is what is seems with John and Edward instead of just singing the David Bowie/Queen version they mixed the song with Vanilla Ice's Ice Ice Baby. Word, I loved it! The performance began with someone pretending to spray paint John and Edward's name on a piece of paper, to which the twins busted through and one of the twins tripped and nearly fell. Olly's revenge? I also liked the fact they brought back the matching silver suits and winged silver trainers. The backup dancers wore half black half white suits and did old school hip hop moves like the running man.

Drama occurred during Jedward's performance. A random audience member wearing a pineapple on his head ran up on stage and put his arm around one of the twins, he then proceeded to bend over with his bum facing the cameras and patted his bum as if to say kiss it. Jedward laughed it off and kept on singing. It was later revealed that the mystery pineapple man was actually music producer/singer Calvin Harris. He said he was inspired to run onstage because he wanted to make a mockery of the show. The show is a joke and it should be treated as such he added. He also added that Simon Cowell is not really a music fan and has a frightening stranglehold over the music charts in the UK. When Calvin Harris was asked who he wanted to win the show he stated Jedward. He said I would love them to win because where can they go from there? Not them, where can X Factor go from there? It's not a music competition.

Overall, I have to say the whole thing paid off since I found it highly entertaining. Dannii called Louis out on the fact that he broke the rules by having them sing Ice Ice Baby. She also said that their rapping was out of time, which I think she was wrong. At this point the crowd loudly starting chanting JEDWARD! Simon said I have to judge you not in the real world, but in Jedwardland and therefore that was your best performance. He also praised the twins for conducting themselves well during the competition. Louis was mad saying who was that idiot jumping onstage? Dermot O'Leary also praised Jedward for their composure while an idiot with a pineapple on his head that looked like their older brother.

After all that drama Stacey Solomon aka horse face was up next. She wore a brown strapless fitted floor length dress and a diamond arm bracelet. She sang the lesser known Queen song Who Wants To Live Forever and did a pretty good job. Cheryl said you sang your socks off. Simon said that by a mile she was the best performance of the night. Stacey gave a little air high five before going over to talk to Dermot. When he said her who that was for she said Dannii. He told Stacey she could go over and give Dannii a real one, so she went to the judges table and gave Dannii a high five. Personally, I think Dermot did this on purpose so we wouldn't be subjected to Stacey talking.

Last of the night was Danyl Johnson. He kept it simple wearing a black tshirt, black jacket, and black trousers. He sang We Are The Champions however he did so in a more soulful style. I felt that he was singing at too low a key for his voice, which didn't make this his best performance. However, the judges felt differently. Dannii thought it was his best performance to date. Louis told Danyl that he proved he's got it all. Cheryl told Danyl that he won her over and he looked really handsome. OOh!

Results to follow...

Jamie Archer Kicked Out!

The results show kicked off with the judges coming out the song Another One Bites The Dust by Queen, now my question is why didn't they play this song last night when it was actually Queen Night? Dannii looked a hot mess with her 80's crimped hair and flowy floor length green floral dress that had a very low V neck and high slit up the leg. Cheryl looked a bit better wearing a white knee length skirt that had a gold shiny panel on the front, this was paired with a white corset top with gold geometric line detailing.

The contestants mimed Bohemian Rhapsody in honor of Queen Week. Once again the miming has not improved one little bit! There were high notes that were sung in falsetto voices, no one on X Factor has a falsetto voice! The whole thing was just really campy. Brian May and Roger Taylor joined the contestants onstage playing the drums and guitar. Jedward was definitely into the song as they got to do the little Galileo bit. Somehow whoever produced tonight's song managed to make all the voices sound identical, not a good job.

Dermot asked Brian May who his favorite contestant is and he said I really like the girl. That's not a good sign when they can't even remember your name. However, he was referring to Stacey Solomon. Perhaps, Brian just couldn't understand a word horse face said like everyone else. Roger agreed that Stacey was his favorite as well.

Shakira performed her new single Did It Again. She had on a pretty weird outfit that consisted of a black sparkly top with the hips cut out of it, and a black sparkly tutu on top of black trousers. She had Japanese drummers backing her up and honestly they were the best part of the whole thing. Overall, the song wasn't catchy at all and all the key changes and voice changes that Shakira does during the song just made it annoying. Dermot asked Shakira if she had any advice for the contestants and she said don't be afraid of Simon.

Next the 12 finalists performed the X Factor charity single. The single supports the Great Ormond Street Hospital. All the proceeds go to the charity so I give them credit for doing something good. All the contestants wore similar all white outfits while they sang You Are Not Alone by Michael Jackson. I really found this to be in bad taste since everyone is jumping on the Michael Jackson bandwagon since he died. Also, come on it's the holiday season where everyone wants fun and poppy music, You Are Not Alone is definitely not fun. I didn't understand why they contestants didn't sing the song live but once again mimed it. It was so obvious because once again it didn't sound like their voices and Lucie Jones missed a word while she was miming!

The bottom two this week were: Jamie Archer and Lloyd Daniels

Jamie sang The Show Must Go On by Queen. It was a pretty poor performance, and the thing I don't get is that he knew his voice couldn't carry a Queen song the night before so why pick another one?! He just seemed to be screaming rather than singing.

Lloyd sang Paolo Nutini's Lay Down Beside Me. This was actually a good song choice for Lloyd since it doesn't require much of a voice range or high notes. He did a much better job than Jamie Archer.

Simon voted to keep Jamie, Cheryl voted Lloyd, Louis voted Lloyd, and Dannii voted Jamie.
So For another week in a row it was DEADLOCK. Jamie received the lowest number of public votes and was kicked out, yay! Back to the pub for you! Simon looked absolutely shocked with his mouth wide open just looking at the audience. He then came onstage and said I'm sorry to Jamie I probably let him down with the song choices. We've had a few spats but he's a nice guy.

Next week the guests will be Mariah Carey and Susan Boyle.

X Factor 2009 Auditions | Live Show 5 | Movie Songs | Arguments and Ghostbusters!

It was live show 5 on Saturday the 7th of August and the theme tonight was Movie Songs. There was no special guest mentor this week so we were treated to the X Factor contestants attending the new Disney movie A Christmas Carol. It always gives the contestants a taste of the good life before it's cruelly snatched away from their desperate fingers.

The judges came out to the sound of Star Wars being blasted out behind them. Cheryl wore a knee length black shift dress with a cross over the chest area. Dannii looked every bit the Greek Goddess with a floor length white one shoulder strapped dress with a high slit up the side.

Stacey Solomon was our first contestant and I'm really starting to wonder how they'll handle her if she win's the contest. Every time I hear her talk it makes me cringe with that stupid giggly buffoon like voice. Can you really see her being interview by Oprah? Nah me either. Her opening scenes were filled with her making strange pig noises that I think was her laughing. Anyway she sang Dusty Springfields Son of a Preacher man from the movie Pulp Fiction. It was pretty boring overall. They tried to turn Stacey Solomon sexy without much success dressing her up in black leather trousers, tank top and then topped off with a nice cardigan. Sexy! She had on a strange medallion as well with pearls on it. Cheryl said she looked sexy and confident. Simon disagreed comparing her to Chinese food as he didn't feel anything afterward only that he was still hungry. She blurted it I feel good in that bumbling idiotic way she speaks but Simon didn't catch it and had to ask her to repeat. The crowd goes wild and Simon I guess took pity on her and left it at that. Dannii said Simon Cowell is obviously out of touch which made me laugh for all the wrong reasons.

Olly Murs is the biggest cheese monger on here I really can't take him seriously. He came out in a black suit with skinny tie singing Twist and Shout by the Beatles. It's apparently from Ferris Bueller's Day Off. This was truly atrocious. At one stage he burst into the thriller dance routine with his cheesy dancers behind him. Louis said that he didn't like the silly dancing or song. Simon was drawing Louis dirty looks by this point. Dannii said he looked like he didn't believe what he was singing by this point the Olly Murs fan club in the crowd kicked into overdrive singing "Olly Olly" which drowned out the judges. I also noticed he has a unibrow tonight.

Lloyd Daniels was up next with those dead eyes of his. Seriously look into them there's absolutely nothing going on in there. The kid creeps me out. He was wearing a checked shirt and white t shirt underneath and sang Stand By Me. Lloyd Daniels is the only constestant who seems to be getting worse as the weeks go by. Tonight was terrible his voice was all over the place and he warbled his way through to the end. He went over to Cheryl at one point to sing directly to her which again made me cringe. Louis Walsh told Lloyd Daniels that he was out of his depth in the competition and that there are four other male vocalists who are better than him. Simon Cowell started on about how it was like having tea with your mum then I guess he realised he might be offending his own mum and quickly apologised. Simon told Lloyd Daniels that his voice wasn't big enough for the song.

Jamie Archer sang Crying by Roy Orbison claiming it was from movie called Gumbo that no ones ever heard of. At the end he said it was also in Mulholland Drive which is weird as I don't know why he didn't say this from the start. This would have saved us from having to listen to Simon and Louis arguing about who was cheating. He did a pretty average job with the song, didn't do anything for me to be honest. He was going to sing Unchained Melody at first with Cheryl saying it was a good idea to change this as it would have been cheesy. Simon pointed out that it was going to be the U2 cover version adding that you should look it up on YouTube! sweetheart. Nice and patronising. Louis then accused Simon of cheating by picking some obscure film.

Lucie Jones sang a song from Camp Rock (what?) called This is Me. She had a bad spot outbreak on her chin again they need to get this girl some Clearasil to sort out her acne. She wore blue jeans, brown boots, black sparkly top and a short black military jacket over the top. Simon said it was the first time Lucie Jones has made herself relevant. Cheesy pop rubbish.

Danyl Johnson was sporting a new shorter hair cut that made him look a bit like Ashley Cole which is maybe why Cheryl was complimenting him on it so much. He sang Purple Rain by Prince and was dressed all in black. He started off his song by sitting down on some see through platform. Simon said Danyl did an outstanding vocal with Dannii warbling on about something. Is he really supposed to take advice from Dannii Minogue??

Jedward! Oh Jedward you are starting to grow on me. Full Ghostbusters routine from these guys complete with boiler suits, proton packs, yellow toy guns, Ghostbusters Car, a few Ghosts and a girl dressed like Sigourney Weaver from Ghostbusters. They showed a clip at the start where apparently Prime Minister Gordon Brown had said that Jedward weren't very good. No shit! But they're entertaining the nation and especially all the kiddies out there. John and Edward said they had always wanted to be Ghostbusters when they were little but hadn't been brave enough. They were also spotted at the start wearing t shirts which said "Vote Jedward" which are bound to be a big Christmas hit...maybe. They started off the performance by sitting in the Ghostbusters car until some spooks came out to scare them. They did a little talking part again with Edward shouting, John save me! With John replying don't be a baby...My favourite part was when the Marshmallow Man came out at the end to join in on the second Thriller dance routine of the night. Dannii said that they either talk or rap but don't sing. I thought this was hilarious again. She's not even fit to give the Irish Twins advice. Simon even said they were good in a childish sort of way. Dermot thanked Louis for suggesting that Jedward were the the antidote for the recession. This was a little prelude to argument they were about to have.

Last up was another cheese monger Joe McElderry who Dermot introduced as Geordie Joe. Boring. He sang Circle of Life from the Lion King and was cheesy and crap. Most of the judges suggested he was more musical theatre than pop star with Dannii adding that he was the strongest male in the competition. Simon disagreed with this and then Cheryl started on about some rubbish about him being like her little brother which I've said right from the start! Fix! Louis and Dermot then started arguing with Louis pointing out that Dermot wasn't a judge but Dermot had the last laugh saying the audience was the real judge.

Results to follow!

Lucie Jones Kicked Out!

Dermot O'Leary kicked off the results show looking snazzy wearing a purple satin tie. Tonight when the judges came onstage they played the theme to the Superman movie which was a bit weird I thought. Anyway, Dannii did not look good tonight with her pageboy hairdo and strapless ivory knee length dress with white line geometric details. The only nice thing she was wearing was a silver heart necklace. Cheryl looked better wearing red/pink or if you want to be picky fuchsia colored mini shift dress. Cheryl definitely had the major hair extensions going though!

Why the contestants continue to mime a song at the beginning of the results show is beyond me. This week they mimed Hot N Cold by Katy Perry. All the contestants wore red/pink and tartan type outfits. Jedward must of really loved this song because they were really into the song and getting down. When Jamie Archer sang his voice was changed using a vocoder, come on that's not live! There's not much to say about this bit except that once again it was pretty cheesy.

Then it was onto some of the unseen backstage footage from Saturday. Stacey Solomon was being cheeky to Simon but it was beyond me what she said to him something about being vulnerable but I cannot understand a word horse face says!

Louis and Cheryl had it out when Louis told Cheryl that Lloyd was out of his depth and at least you still have Joe. Cheryl was angry at his comment and said yeah and you have John and Edward, good luck with THAT!

Jamie Archer claimed just because his song was unknown didn't make it cheating, but yeah I still can't find anything about that movie so I think it was. Simon snipped that Louis should have been a traffic warden.

Danyl Johnson commented backstage that Cheryl finally likes him because with his new haircut he looks like her husband. John and Edward came offstage and were comedic even then, Edward was so distracted by a girl that he forgot to keep up with John and talk to the camera.

Black Eyed Peas performed their new single Meet Me Halfway, and it was pretty terrible. Fergie made her entrance by being lowered onstage standing on a giant moon. Then Wil.I.Am came flying in over the audience and once onstage proceeded to play a keytar. The song was not catchy at all and the performance was pretty boring to say the least. When Dermot interview the Black Eyed Peas Wil.I.Am said that Cheryl was the coolest and Fergie commented that she had a crisis with her shoes and thanked Cheryl for letting her borrow hers.

After that Dermot called Louis mardy bum saying that they had made up and gave Louis a kiss on the forehead, aw.

Next up was X Factor winner Leona Lewis, she sang her new single Happy. She wore a strapless black sparkly sweetheart top and a full floor length black taffeta skirt. Also, I don't know who did her makeup for this but she looked like a tranny! With the white eyeliner and heavy black eyeshadow, big mistake. Once again this was another boring song with a performance that was nothing special. Alexandra Burke's performance a few weeks earlier really put this to shame. Leona also seemed to look like she had crazy eyes.

Right so the bottom two this week were a shocker: Lucie Jones and Jeward

Lucie sang One Moment In Time by Whitney Houston for her survival. She was off-key in the first part of the song and looked pretty nervous. However, towards the end of the song she got it together, sounded good, and looked confident.

Jedward sang Rock DJ by Robbie Williams for their survival. This was actually a smart move since like Robbie they cannot sing to save their life, but they are good entertainers. They did some crazy dancing during the song, kicked each other in the bum, and jumped into the crowd at one point. After their performance it was a mix of cheers and boo's.

Louis voted to keep Jedward, Dannii voted to keep Lucie, Cheryl voted to keep Lucie, and Simon was the wildcard by voting to keep Jedward even though he said he hated them all this time, he quickly changed his tune by saying I'd rather see John and Edward again and made the vote a deadlock.

Shockingly Lucie received the lowest number of public votes and was kicked out! She was obviously really upset and started crying, one of the twins tried to console her, but she pushed him away, ooh! However, when Dermot asked her for a reaction she kept it diplomatic and just said I'm gutted but John and Edward deserve to be here, they work the hardest out of anyone.

Can Jedward hold on? Tune in next week when the guests are Shakira and the X Factor contestants will perform the X Factor charity single for the first time...

X Factor 2009 Live Auditions | Rock Week | Cheryl's Awful Dress | Jedward Rock On!

Well it was rock week on the X Factor 2009 this week on Saturday 31st of October 2009. Yes it's Halloween and the scariest thing was undoubtedly Cheryl's absolutely atrocious dress. Wow who the hell thought that was a good idea. Cheryl was wearing some thigh high hooker boots in the style of Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. Bad Start. The dress Cheryl wore was just awful! It was a black mini dress with like fan things covering her breasts that had little piano keys on them. It was then attached to some black dog collar round her neck. Simon had to warn her at one point to keep sitting upright as it was slipping down, Cheryl Cole had to pull it back up in to place. Dannii looked much better wearing a one shouldered, floor length bronze sparkly dress with lace detail and black high heels. Bon Jovi was supposed to be mentoring this week but there was no sign of him with no explanation as to why he wasn't there. Nice one X Factor! I also noticed that Cheryl and Dannii weren't sitting next to each other anymore. Dannii had switched seats with Louis. Perhaps she didn't want to sit next to Cheryl when she was wearing that horrific dress?

On to the contestants and Dermot referred to Cheryl as the Northern Rock. Not a tag she'll be delighted about I'm sure. Joe McElderry was up first moaning about the press in his opening scenes. Boring! Simon said Joe and rock were like a mouse and a tiger. He don't stop believing by Journey and I thought it was awful. Really really bad his voice didn't suit the song at all. Joe wore a leather bikers jacket and white nautical t shirt with anchors on it. He did a strange thing when he walked round behind the judges to sing directly to the crowd but you could see all four judges straining in their seats to turn around and watch the performance. Nice one Joe. There were two stupid dancers on behind him too doing some weird dance like they were in Dirty Dancing. Simon ripped in to the dancers at the end calling them Squiddly and Diddly. Cheryl defended them saying Simon doesn't appreciate contemporary dance. I'm sorry I just couldn't take Cheryl seriously tonight because of that dress. Simon Cowell said that Joe McElderry's performance was a bit limp which was right. Then we had the dress incident which resulted in Cheryl calling Simon a prat. Dermot also stated that the song was a Newcastle anthem. Seriously?

Lucie Jones was up next doing her best Avril Lavigne/Kelly Clarkson impression. Simon was right when he called her an actress last week. I thought Lucie Jones was crap too. She sang Sweet Child O' Mine by Guns N Roses and started the performance off by lying down on a gold couch. What that had to do with anything I'll never know. She was wearing a sleeveless checked shirt with a chain mail print tank top underneath. Very trailer trash. She also had a black chunky bracelet on. The performance was full of awkward moments most noticeably when she was posing next to a guitarist against the amps. Cheryl rather patronisingly said she was like a little Avril Lavigne this week. Seriously Cheryl Cole was talking down to someone she makes me laugh so much. Simon said Lucie Jones was boring last week but much better this week. Nah she was still boring.

Danyl Johnson seemed to be pissed off that he was in the last two last week and the amount of bad press he's had this week. Someone said he was more hated than Hitler on Twitter which seemed to really get to him. Why bother Danyl I could go on Twitter right now and say the same thing but who cares if some bum like me (or the other guy) says stuff like this about you? Grow a pair and get on with it. Anyway he was wearing a black waistcoat and white shirt this week and Danyl Johnson sang Aerosmith's I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing but it was pretty average it was like his heart wasn't really in it. Dannii said he looked like he's lost his mojo and was a bit out of tune. Cheryl said his performance made her feel uncomfortable and didn't do it for her. I guess the thing that really does it for her is a cheating husband eh Cheryl? Danyl's body language spoke volumes at the end he stood with his hands in his pockets dying to get off stage.

Lloyd Daniels continues to get worse and worse. I'd say he's at least on a par with Jedward now. They had him sitting on a throne with girls all round him kissing his face leaving lipstick marks everywhere. He was singing Katie Perry's I Kissed A Girl and I Liked It. I think it's about time this kid was kicked off the show, we're at the stage now where he's getting drowned out by the backing singers. I think Lloyd Daniels is only being kept in because of his looks. Louis Walsh was moaning again about the fact that he wasn't singing a rock song with Simon making fun of Louis for complaining. They started to argue over the top of Cheryl's comments then she told them both to shut up. I wish she hadn't and they could have drowned out her horrible accent. Goes right through me. I think Lloyd Daniels has a big following on facebook because they started talking about that but to be honest I don't really care.

Horse faced Stacey Solomon was up next and I'd have to say she appears to be the stupidest contestant who's been on the X Factor for some time. She says thanks with an 'F'. It looked like Dannii had forgotten her name at the start when she was introducing her. Maybe the Botox has leaked in to her brain. Stacey Solomon sang Somewhere Only We Know by Keane in a totally non rock fashion. Her vocals were good though but again she's cheating a bit. She wore a black dress with silver tassles over the top of black leather leggings and high heels. Louis said the song choice was boring which was right. Simon was talking about an X Factor miracle compared to last week.

Commercial break, they must have came back to soon as all the judges were just getting back to their seats from a bathroom break I guess. Jamie Archer was next up singing Primal Scream's Get Your Rocks Off. He had a black leather/PVC jacket on with a silver guitar motif on the back like all true rock stars wear. It was cheesy. Why is someone who wants to be a rock star on this talent show anyway? Go get yourself a band Jamie Archer. Why does he have that stupid towel in his back pocket does anyone know? To catch the bugs that fall out of his Afro? He looked like he was wearing a lot of makeup too. Louis said he wasn't a real rock star and was simply a Lenny Kravitz impersonator. Cheryl got a bit bitchy by saying the only reason we have rock week on the X Factor is because Simon has a rock artist. The audience didn't seem to like it too much probably because of the bitchy nature. Dermot was then joking about Louis reading NME and Kerrang.

Rachel Adedji wore a strapless pink leopard print dress with a black belt and sang One by U2. It seems that Dannii is determined to make her look like Rhianna even changing her hair to match this week. Louis commented that it was an emotional performance from Rachel. Simon said that Dannii was trying to make Rachel her clone with that hairstyle, Dannii fired back with a joke about Simon's hair. It would have been funny if she just left the joke alone but she continued to overdo it.

Ok now the time everyone's been waiting for... John and Edward aka Jedward as their fans now call them. They both wore long leather trench coats, ghetto blaster t shirts, and heavy eyeliner which did not match the song they picked at all! I have no idea what looking goth has to do with Queen, but anyway Jedward sang We Will Rock You by Queen. Once again the performance was over the top with dancers, motorcycles, fire. Again all this drama was need to try and hide the fact that Jedward was out of tune, forgot the word in parts, and were both totally out of time with the song. At one point during the performance they jumped into the crowd of backup dancers and were being lifted around. At the end of the performance a lot of the crowd was booing which once again makes no sense since they seem to be the most popular act on X Factor. All the judges minus Louis agreed that the look and the song made no sense. John and Edward looked like they were dressed for Halloween and overall looked pretty scary. Simon said that their performance was like night of the living dead and was out of tune.

Last of the night was Olly Murs. He wore a blue denim shirt and jeans. He sang Come Together by The Beatles. At one point in the performance for no apparent reason he decided to rip his shirt open!

I don't know but every week on X Factor seems to get weirder and weirder

Sunday 1st of November 2009 - The Results!

Rachel Adedji got the boot this week which is no surprise since she survived by the skin of her teeth a few times now. We started off tonight's show with the usual dramatic entrance from the judges. Cheryl wore something a little less disgusting tonight, a black top with shoulder strap crossover, sparkly trousers and black peep toe heels. Dannii wore a black satin knee length shift dress with black belt, black heels and puff sleeves. She had her hair crimped like it was the 80's.

The contestants came out to the usual mime routine singing Walk This Way by Aerosmith/Run DMC. They were wearing outfits in red white and black and to be honest they couldn't be any less rock if they'd tried. Why were they miming again? We had backing dancers break dancing and the contestants were jumping up and down like extras from High School Musical. Someone was hanging from monkey bars at one point. Stacey Solomon's accent was coming through in the song, "FANKS huhuhuhu!" you know how it goes.

We were treated to some backstage footage of Danyl Johnson crying after last nights performance, I think he was complaining about not being able to hear the start of the song. Louis was talking about Jamie Archer thinking he's a rocker but he's really a pretend Karaoke rocker. He also added that Jedward would sell more records than Dannii Minogue which is why she hates them so much. I think I've sold more records than Dannii though so I guess she hates me too?

Special guest Bon Jovi were then up singing We Weren't Born to Follow. At least they did it live but it wasn't very rock just a radio friendly dirge. Boring. Jon Bon Jovi has great teeth though. And hair. He advised the contestants to listen to every word Simon says as he knows his stuff. He didn't comment on the other three judges but why would he. One's there to be Simon's whipping boy and the other two are there for a bit of fluff. Dermot then wanted to high five Richie Sambora because it was a childhood dream. Simon then went on to make a big announcement which was that Cheryl's garbage single was still number one and unbelievably her album was number 1 also. It's frightening. Simon congratulated her and jokingly asked her to come to his record label. They both laughed and hugged and he kissed her on the cheek. Lets all laugh at how much money we can all make. Sickening. Simon went on to predict that Jedward would be in the bottom two how wrong can you be.

Last years runners up JLS came on to perform some over produced nonsense called Everyone In Love. They seem to be an American band now like it's an User or Ne-Yo song they're performing. The performance was very polished with a dance breakdown, fireworks on raising platforms and the crowd going wild. JLS definitely put on a better show than the mime routine of the X Factor contestants. Simon gave them a lot of praise saying acts like them are the reason that he does the show. Dermot then started joking about how he's still waiting for his merchandise from the band.

On to the results! Jedward go through to a chorus of boos from the crowd. We were left with Rachel Adedji and Lloyd Daniels with Lloyd complaining about a sore throat. Has he had a sore throat since the start of the show? No? Must just be me. Cheryl was getting the excuses in early saying Lloyd was poorly before he sang his second show. He sang You Are So Beautiful by Stevie Wonder and I thought he was once again out of tune. This kid can't sing. His voice broke a few times and he gave up far too easily with the high notes. He just couldn't hit the high notes and seemed to be looking for sympathy from the crowd. Rachel sang Stop Crying Your Heart Out by Oasis and to be honest she overdid the vocals quite a bit. She did a decent job though and put a lot of emotion into the song. When Dermot brought the contestants together Lloyd reached round and gave Rachel a squeeze on the shoulder for a bit of support.

Dannii chose to keep Rachel, Louis chose to keep Rachel, Cheryl choose Lloyd and Simon mistakenly said Rachel sang better than Olly. Louis had to correct Simon who then apologised saying he's not with it tonight and corrected himself. Despite the fact that he said Rachel sang better and everyone and their grandma realised this he still choose to keep Lloyd because he was 'sick'. DEADLOCK! The drama of X Factor is crazy. Rachel then got kicked out for having the fewest votes from the public, she started crying and looked gutted. Perhaps she's too much like Leona Lewis and Alexandra Burke to win X Factor this year.

Special guests next week are the Black Eyed Peas and Leona Lewis. Yippee!

X Factor 2009 Live Auditions | Big Band Night | Michael Buble | Danyl Johnson | John & Edward Still Here!

It was Big Band night on the X Factor this week with the episode being shown on Saturday the 24th of October 2009. Once again the show has been split in to two episodes with the results of tonight's show being announced on Sunday the 25th of October 2009. The judges upped the X Factor 2009 style stakes again this week with Cheryl wearing a one shouldered white floor length Greek inspired dress. This was complimented with a diamond hair accessory. Dannii Minogue wore a floor length sheer dark gray lace sparkly dress with chandelier silver earrings. Louis Walsh was back this week and I thought he looked terrible. He must have had a hard time with Stephen Gately's death as you can definitely see the difference in him. The mentor this week was Michael Buble since it was big band night.

I must say the best part of this episode was the fact that Louis Walsh and Simon Cowell were bantering back and forth the entire night and in some parts it got quite catty which makes it even more entertaining.

Olly Murs kicked off the night. He was wearing a white tuxedo shirt, black trousers, black bow-tie, and braces. He had the help of several female backing dancers. His backup dancers were wearing short black dresses and witches hats to tie in with the theme of the song he was singing. Olly sang The Bewitched theme song by Howard Greenfield and Jack Keller. For the first time in weeks Olly looked visibly nervous, big band is obviously not his cup of tea. He tried to cover his nervousness by doing stupid dance moves that really didn't work with the theme of the show this week. Also, I wonder if anyone watching had the same question as me: Did Olly Murs have something stuffed down the front of his trousers? and if so: What was stuffed down the front of Olly's trousers? I bet it was one of John or Edwards socks. I definitely think he must of had a bit of artificial enhancement down below because it was bordering on obscene! Also the bulge hung to the left, so unless Olly was channeling Terry Wogan what was going on down there? Moving on from those questions, Simon Cowell told Olly, I know what it's like working with two witches. Ohhh catty! Simon also commented that Olly had style, grace, and charisma.

Lloyd Daniels was next and he was in trouble before he even came out onstage and started singing. In the interviews they show before the performances Simon Cowell ominously stated: I hope Cheryl doesn't pick some obvious song like Fly Me To The Moon for him. Well Simon may have a future as a psychic because that's exactly the song Cheryl picked for Lloyd, Fly Me To The Moon by Frank Sinatra. Lloyd wore a white tuxedo shirt, white waistcoat, black skinny tie, and black tuxedo pants. Since he's only 16 he definitely didn't have the maturity to sing any type of big band song and honestly I feel like he should be in school rather than on X Factor. During his performance he gave a cheesy wink at the camera that was truly cringeworthy. His voice was totally drowned out by the band and maybe for that we should be grateful since he was singing in a monotone fashion anyway. To make up for the make that he can't sing he decided to do a backflip on stage halfway through the song. Well as you can imagine that went down like a lead boat. After the backflip Simon immediately shot Lloyd a dirty look, oh if only looks could kill then we'd have one less performance to sit through! I also feel like besides being rubbish he has a very vacant look, I don't know if that is down to age or what. Louis Walsh stated that Lloyd needed to be part of a group or boyband in order to become successful. In a classic Simon Cowell quip he stated: Doing a backflip while singing Fly Me To The Moon is like eating a sandwich while swimming. I found that quite funny. He also told Lloyd he needed to get some confidence.

Onto one of the more promising acts, Miss Frank. They wore similar black and white pinstriped suits and Graziella was holding a cane. The trio sang a jazzier version of That's Life by Frank Sinatra. Miss Frank had been critized in previous weeks for not gelling together as a group, I have to say they did a better job with that this week. No one sang over each other, the only part of their performance I didn't like was Graziella's rapping. She somehow worked Simon and Louis' name into her rap, which in my opinion isn't very hip hop it's more like looking for brownie points from the judges. Graziella seems to hog the limelight a little bit which I hope won't work against them in the future. However, I seems to be in the minority since all the judges loved the rapping and at the end of the song the audience gave them a standing ovation. Also, I don't know what happened at the end of Miss Frank's performance when Graziella wobbled a bit and ended up banging into Shaniece. Simon said it was the first time they looked like a group and he genuinely hoped that they would stay in the competition. While Dermot O'Leary was asking Miss Frank for a response they all started talking and forgot to hold the mic up to their mouth so everyone could hear what they were saying! Man, no one said you had to be smart to be on X Factor.

Next up was Rachel Adedji and she had a lot to prove this week. After Rachel had been in the bottom two for the last two weeks running, she really had to give it everything she had to make sure it didn't happen again. Dannii Minogue finally fixed Rachel's hair and she had a bob this week instead of looking like a Rhianna clone. I guess Dannii finally got the message that it wasn't smart to make Rachel Adedji look like Rhianna. However, in saying that her outfit was a little weird. She wore a neon multicolored sequined mini dress that made her look like she could of been an extra in the movie Tron. But enough of that, Rachel chose to sing Proud Mary by Tina Turner. She had the help of female backup dancers who wore short gold sequined dresses. In my opinion Rachel's voice was getting lost in the grandeur of the horns and her voice is better suited to slow songs or ballads. She definitely didn't put the same amount of energy into Proud Mary as Tina Turner did that's for sure! Once again the judges really seemed to like it and Simon said it was like seeing a brand new competitor and thank god you lost the silly haircut. He further added: You had a superb performance and great vocals. So there's hope that Rachel will not end up in the bottom two this week.

Up next was Jamie Archer aka Jamie Afro. He wore a white tuxedo shirt, a black bowtie that was left untied around his neck because he's an idiot, and black sparkly pants. I really wish someone would grab a shaver and shave off Jamie's afro in the middle of the night while he was sleeping. He sang Angel O'Mine by Aynsley Lister however, later Louis said the song was by U2. Hmm, I think Louis might be wrong. Jamie Archer is a real showman onstage there's no doubting that, but the guy is a rubbish singer. After the performance, Louis was a bit aggravated and told Jamie that he cheated by not singing a big band song and in no way is Bono big band. I have to say that I don't often agree with Louis, but that is cheating. Simon retaliated with the nasty comment: You're not one to preach to us about musical taste knowing the two horrors that are coming out here! The two horrors were John and Edward, I guess that's Simon's new pet name for them.

Stacey Solomon aka Horse Face performed next. She wore a floor length one shoulder cross strapped silver sparkly dress. She gave some sob story about how she wanted to sing this song for her son. Michael Buble specifically told her to pretend she was singing it directly to her son so that the emotion would come through, but I guess Horse Face Stacey must of been thinking about jumping fences or something and failed to listen. Stacey sang When You Wish Upon A Star by Jiminy Cricket aka Cliff Edwards. As I said before because she chose to ignore Michael Buble's advice the performance had no emotion. Simon said that she looked better than she sounded, the whole thing was very robotic, and she need to learn some performance skills. Dannii then proceeded to tell a story that this week Stacey Solomon came running into her room in a flood of tears and was having a bad week. Stacey looked very uncomfortable at the fact that Dannii had shared such a personal story and what was obviously a private moment.

Danyl Johnson has become my favorite competitor in this competition, while I really didn't like him at first I think he has become a lot more humble and toned down his over the top performances. He wore a white tuxedo shirt, black suit, and untied black bowtie. He sang the song Feeling Good by Nina Simone. I think this was an excellent song choice for him, and the song style really suited him. Not only did Danyl Johnson sing the song really well, but he definitely put on an entertaining performance. After he finished Simon gave him a standing ovation. Simon also told Danyl that he is in a completely different league to the rest of the contestants. Louis told him he was born to sing and entertain.

Another snoozer was next, Joe McElderry. He said he was going to be sexy for this performance and to be honest I think I could hear Simon laughing from my couch. He wore a black ugly suit that was very reminiscent of Hugh Hefner's smoking jacket. Joe sang Sway by Dean Martin. Talk about robotic, his salsa dance moves were as stiff as you can get. The dance moves also looked really cheesy and made him look a little creepy. The performance on the whole I could liken to one you would see on a cruise ship. Simon came up with a weird analogy but somehow I think it was correct, he said: You've got as much Latin flair as a dolphin.

A surprisingly good performance tonight came from Lucie Jones. Lucy sang My Funny Valentine from the show Babes In Arms. She wore a black and red floor length dress which was accesorized by a chunky black ring. The arrangement of the song was in the style so that Lucie could sing the song in a sexy, sultry fashion. I think this was a good choice for her, and her voice really suited big band. Overall, she did a pretty good job. However, the only thing that would ruin the whole sultry thing was the fact that Lucie had a big spot on her chin and the camera kept zooming in on it. Her performance ended in a shower of pink rose petals, one of which got stuck in her hair. She had the rose petal in her hair during the judges comments until Simon pointed it out to her, she just laughed, took it out, and said thank you. Simon commented that she sang the song like an actress and an angry Louis shouted: What are you looking for?!

The last and also most controversial act of the competition, John and Edward. Before their performance Simon claimed that if John and Edward win X Factor he will leave the country. I mean come on now is that really a threat? Oh poor Simon what will you do leave the rainy UK to go spend time in you multimillion dollar home in LA like you do anyway? Please! Anyway, John and Edward sang She Bangs by Ricky Martin and what that had to do with big band I really couldn't tell you. Also those two little slugs haven't banged anything yet except maybe their head when they were younger, which would explain a lot. Continuing their awful taste in fashion they wore similar suits, one in red and one in lime green. They also had backing dancers to try to take the attention away from them, the girls wore polka dot bras and tutus. During the song when one of the girls came to dance between the twins they both looked visibly uncomfortable. Also, for half the song John and Edward forgot to actually sing, what's up with that? It is a singing competition after all! Of course they added the obligatory embarrassing dance moves that correlate to the lyrics of the song, akin to something you'd see at 3 in the morning on See Hear. Another bizarre moment during their performance was when the twins got down on all fours and girls pretend to ride them like they were horses. Stacey Solomon must of been thanking her lucky stars that they didn't try that with her. After the performance finished John and Edward received boo's from the crowd and someone in the audience shouted RUBBISH! Simon said the song was appalling, to which Louis fired back: Simon once signed a group called Zig and Zag. Cheryl confessed that the twins had become her guilty pleasure. John and Edward proceeded to thank Simon for the dance moves and they left.

Results to follow!

Miss Frank Kicked Out

Well if you're wondering who was kicked off X Factor on Sunday October 25th, the answer is Miss Frank aka Graziella Affinita, Shaniece Davis, and Shar Alexandra.

I must start by saying I wasn't the biggest fan of Cheryl and Dannii's dresses tonight, they were a bit wacky for my taste. Cheryl wore a strange silver sequined dress that was very short and resembled either snake skin or scales. Cheryl's dress also had quite a revealing V neck and and long sleeved bolero in the same style as her dress. Dannii wore a flesh colored halterneck knee length dress, which had lace details and silver sparkles.

So the song all the contestants had to mime this week was Fascination by Alphabeat. All the contestants wore black and white themed outfits. For some reason this week all the dancing and singing to Alphabeat was incredibly cheesy. Danyl Johnson is still really bad a miming and after 3 weeks John and Edward are still out of time with the music! It really got a bit much when they broke out white tambourines and threw them up in the air as well as banging it on their bums.

Westlife are apparently trying to make a comeback and were on X Factor to promote their new single What About Now. The boyband performed the song and they were pretty dull as normal, but have moved away from sitting on chairs, wait for it...they're now standing while they sing ballads. Westlife seemed to be trying to go for a mature Take That type of sound, but it just wasn't working for them.

Host Dermot O'Leary commented that last night's episode with all the bantering between Louis and Simon was like watching an episode of Grumpy Old Men.

Michael Buble was also on the show singing his new single Cry Me A River. He was dressed in a black tuxedo and looked very James Bond. This quite fit in with the theme of the song since it reminded me of a James Bond movie theme song. While I'm not a Michael Buble fan, I have to admit the guy does have a powerful voice and put on an effortless performance. After Michael finished the song someone from the audience screamed I LOVE YOU! Michael responded by saying: I love you too stranger in the dark! When Dermot asked Michael who his favorite contestant was he said it was Rachel Adedji adding: She blew me away.

After his interview with Michael Buble, Dermot had a bit of a dig at past X Factor guests like Robbie Williams and Whitney Houston by saying: It's so nice to interview an international star that isn't weird.

Miss Frank and Danyl Johnson found themselves in the bottom two this week and both had to sing for their survival.

Miss Frank chose to sing Love Don't Live Here Anymore by Lady Antebellum, this turned out to be a bad song choice for them. Their voices worked against each other and they didn't looked like they gelled as group again. Graziella tried to upstage Shaniece and Shar by standing in front of them and doing her rap again. Graziella's rap has become really annoying and totally lost its novelty factor.

I cannot believe that Danyl Johnson was in the bottom two considering he had the best performance on Saturday night. It was obvious that Simon was not happy about this either saying: I think it's a joke you're in this position. Danyl sang With A Little Help From My Friends by The Beatles. He starting slipping back into his bad habits of going a bit over the top, but in saying that he still put on a great performance and gave it a lot of effort.

Louis decided to keep Miss Frank of course, Simon voted for Danyl, Dannii voted for Danyl, and stupid Cheryl couldn't make up her peabrain and decided to make it a deadlock decision by voting for Miss Frank.

As I said the vote was Deadlocked and the result depended on the public voted, which luckily Danyl Johnson got the most public votes and stays in the competition.

Miss Frank claimed they were going to stay together as a group and keep performing, yeah right I bet you they won't even make it out of the building together, but at least we don't have to hear anymore silly rapping so bye bye!

On next week's X Factor the mentor will be Bon Jovi and musical guest JLS

X Factor 2009 - Live Auditions 2 - Saturday 17th October

The 2nd live audition of X Factor 2009 was shown on Saturday 17th of August and had the usual mix of outstanding performances and unusual song choices! We're down to 11 contestants at this stage after Kandy Rain getting kicked out in the first X Factor 2009 live audition. The theme of tonight's show was Diva song's in honour of special guest Whitney Houston. Clive Davis was also present he discovered Whitney Houston's talent many years ago and Simon Cowell paid tribute to him at the start calling Clive Davis his mentor.

Dannii Minogue was sporting some awful birds nest hairdo tonight who knows what she was thinking. Louis Walsh was still not present after the death of Stephen Gately. Lucie Jones was first up wearing a blue mini dress that seemed to make her legs go on for miles. She's looking much better now after the X Factor makeover. That idiot dance coordinator guy Brian Friedman popped up to tell us some unimportant rubbish. Lucie Jones sang How Will I Know by Whitney Houston and went for more of a dance routine this time rather than the way she usually does it. Simon Cowell told her she's never going to be Whitney which we all know but it was a decent performance.

Olly Murs was up next. The most boring man on the planet was wearing a gray silver suit with black skinny tie and white shirt. Olly Murs sang Tina Turner's A Fool In Love and I thought the whole thing was a bit karaoke. Olly Murs seems to have developed some sort of awful leg shake thing when he sings that Dermot has dubbed the 'Olly Shake'. It's awful. Cheryl said this was the best performance that Olly Murs has done.

Miss Frank were up next and Shar seemed to have a bracelet on that looked like an acorn. Hmm. Miss Frank were dressed up in black and red outfits tonight I guess they're still trying to keep their own individual styles. They sang He Fills Me Up by Whitney Houston. I thought it was OK, Simon didn't! He said it was awful and got the crowds back up in his usual panto bad guy style. Simon did have another little argument with Cheryl Cole. Cheryl said it took Girls Aloud 2 years to get their act together properly. Simon said it was more like three.

Rachel Adedji was gushing over Whitney Houston a bit during the rehearsal. She started off her performance lying down on the stage and sang If I Were A Boy by Beyonce. Rachel Adedji was wearing a denim military jacket and black leather trousers. Dermot O'Leary was complaining about her heels as she was towering over him. I wonder how tall Dermot O'Leary is? Simon Cowell said he liked it but didn't love it as it was too close to the original song.

Joe McElderry as he now seems to be known sang Whitney Houston's Where Do Broken Hearts Go and was dressed all in black. He did a good job I just find him really boring, almost Olly Murs dull. Joe McElderry is the new Gareth Gates. Everyone loved it including the judges I think Simon made a little joke about him improving his performance by working with his big sister which might have been in reference to Cheryl. Definitely some relation there!

Danyl Johnson sang a new Whitney Houston song which is off her new album. Something about strength or being strong. Maybe I Didn't Know My Own Strength. Danyl Johnson kept his fashion simple wearing a black shirt and jeans. Dannii said his performance was flawless.

Lloyd Daniels started off with some garbage from the vocal coach Yvie Burnett. Who Cares. He sang an absolutely awful version of Leona Lewis's Bleeding Love. Oh my did Cheryl give him bad advice on song choice or what. Lloyd Daniels was wearing a gray shirt and waistcoat. He looked like he was frozen to the spot for the whole song and the whole thing didn't really work for him. Simon Cowell said it was like a mouse trying to climb a mountain, the song was far too big for him. Cheryl started crying at this point and tried to explain why she chose this song and how she took responsibility. Lloyd Daniels jumped over to give her a hug and make her feel a bit better.

John and Edward sang Britney Spears Oops I did it Again. Just when you think these kids couldn't get anymore annoying they step up with this performance. There was some terrible dancing with luggage carts and unfortunately for us they decided to copy Britney and wear the red PVC suits. Terrible. John and Edward are like the male version of the Cheeky Girls. They walked behind the judges for the talking part of the song and one of the gave the other a piece of jewelery just like in the Britney Spears video it was terrible. Simon said, what the bloody hell was that? He also said it was the worst live performance he's ever seen on X Factor.

My favourite Rikki Loney still hasn't got that annoying eyebrow fixed. He had a black suit and purple scarf on. Whitney Houston seemed to be a bit annoyed at Rikki Loney as he'd chosen to sing Respect by Aretha Franklin. Mostly because Rikki Loney is garbage and couldn't do the song justice. Simon said he turned from a pub singer to a wedding singer and the song was too big for him.

Jamie Archer sang Christina Aguilera's Hurt and wore a white v neck t shirt and a silver shark tooth necklace. Does anyone know why he wears a towel in his back pocket? I know he's trying to make it his thing but why? It's ridiculous. Simon said he was perfect.

Stacey Solomon was wearing a one shoulder strapped black polka dot knee length dress. She sang Etta James's At Last. Simon said that Stacey Solomon looked uncomfortable the whole time but I thought her performance went well.

Results will follow on Sunday the 18th of October 2009.

Rikki Loney Kicked Out

Well once again the results show was filled with controversy. First off I have to get into Cheryl Cole and Danni Minogue's dresses. Dannii Minogue was wearing a fuchsia strapless, ruffled mini dress accessorized with a wide black belt. What was the deal with Dannii Minogue's hair?! It looked like she was channeling a trailer park with her mullet style hairdo. I guess for this show Dannii was all business in the front and party in the back. Cheryl Cole looked much better as always, she was wearing a gold sequined, strapless mini dress. Has anyone ever noticed the shoes Dannii and Cheryl wear, I always wonder how high their shoes are and what size are they?

To kick off the show once again all the contestants had to preform the obligatory ridiculous mime to a song. Irish twins John and Edward definitely gave away the fact that the song wasn't sung live, come on these two nuggets can't even mime a song properly! This week the song was Queen of the Night by Whitney Houston. Obviously this song was picked in honor of Whitney's appearance on the show. So all in all that part of the show is just to waste time because the people aren't even singing live.

While on the subject of not singing live, there has been many rumors floating around this week that X Factor judge Cheryl Cole may not preform her new single Fight For This Love live. I heard that people had said that she was intimidated by having to preform on the same night as Whitney Houston, so she'd rather pre-record the track and mime. Although when it came down to it I have to give her credit Cheryl Cole sang live and did a pretty good job. Fellow Girls Aloud bandmates, Nadine Coyle, Sarah Harding, Nicola Roberts, and Kimberly Walsh, were there to support Cheryl. Ashley Cole affair (as I like to call him), Cheryl's husband, was also on hand I guess to support but once again he just looked like an idiot that would rather be somewhere else than at the X Factor supporting his wife, Ashley Cole is such a sleaze! Cheryl wore a red military jacket, military style hat, black trousers that were open at the sides, and a black sheer top. She also had about 50 backing dancers who were all men dressed in military uniforms. The funniest part after the performance was when Dermot O'Leary was talking to Cheryl she had red lipstick all smudge on her chin from the mic. Dermot also asked Simon Cowell what he thought of the performance, which was kind of stupid because of course he gave Cheryl loads of praise and said her single would be #1 this week. Cheryl finished off by thanking everyone for letting her be on the show and supporting her as a new judge. However, isn't she a little late with this thank you speech since she's been on the show 2 years already?!

Ok, now it was time for Whitney Houston's performance which was supposed to be her big UK comeback and her first UK performance in 10 years. This all seemed pretty promising as on Saturday Whitney was back in fine form and actually giving the contestants good advice. However, Whitney Houston's comeback looked like it was on shaky ground after her performance of her new single Million Dollar Bill. Million Dollar Bill is an uptempo song and Whitney looked like she couldn't keep up the pace and her vocals were definitely not what they once were. Whitney also had a wardrobe malfunction during her song, the back strap of her silver floor length sparkly dress broke. She's singing a song about million dollar bills and she's got on a cheap quality dress that breaks when you're just singing not even dancing what's that about? Also, during the song money exploded onto the stage, I think Whitney confused herself with a big time rapper or something. After the song, Whitney looked absolutely exhausted as she spoke with Dermot, and I don't know if anyone else noticed that she seemed to be a bit spaced out like she used to be. Dermot also commented on the fact that Whitney didn't sugar coat what she thought of any of the contestants singing, she said Yeah that's why Simon calls me lippy. She followed that by saying I just speak my mind exactly like Simon Cowell. So in summary I don't think the old Whitney Houston diva is back to 100% yet.

On a side note I found it a little weird that during the show Simon Cowell's mic broke and he had to use Dermot's.

So the bottom two this week came down to once again the poor Rachel Adedji who looked like she was going to have a nervous breakdown when she realized she was in the bottom two for a second week in a row. Rikki Loney was also in the bottom two with his one weird eyebrow that sticks up, really you're telling me they couldn't have fixed that by now?

Rachel decided to sing With or Without You by U2. She was visibly upset and frustrated that she had a pretty decent performance on Saturday but still managed to end up here again. She just shook her head as she walked down the stairs to begin the song. Once again she did a pretty decent job, a little gravely in parts, but after the song she completely lost it and broke down into tears.

Rikki Loney sang Westlife's Flying Without Wings because he claimed it was his favorite song, well if that's the case he really needs to get out more. While the judges voted Rikki kept begging please, please, please it was really quite pathetic.

Since Louis was absent again he couldn't cast a vote, Dannii voted for Rachel to stay, Cheryl voted for Rikki to stay, and the deciding vote came down to Simon who wanted Rachel to stay in the competition. Rikki starting crying and Cheryl came onstage to give him a hug, when Dermot asked Cheryl her thoughts on this outcome she said I just can't believe that this has happened Rikki has been voted out and John and Edward get to stay here. Oooh snap! But she is right John and Edward have stayed in the competition for entertainment value.

Well Rikki Loney is out and must pack his bags and return to Glasgow, bye bye!

X Factor 2009 - Live Auditions Episode 1 - Results

The first X Factor 2009 Live audition aired on Saturday the 10th of October 2009 with the theme of the show being musical heroes. This basically meant every second song was a Robbie Williams number since he was the guest. The theme every week is how Simon Cowell can make more money. We only saw Robbie Williams coaching the talent earlier in the day I'll assume we'll see him and Alexandra Burke on the new format results show which is being shown on Sunday the 11th of October. The judges came out to the usual dramatic X Factor music with the fireworks going off. Dannii Minogue had a magenta/purple floor length halter neck dress on. Cheryl Cole had a strange looking strapless, knee length golden sequined poofy ball skirt dress on. It was Simon Cowell's birthday so Dermot started things off by wishing him a happy birthday. Simon teased Dermot O'Leary about the state he was in at Simons calling it disgusting behaviour birthday party with Dannii Minogue adding that he was out till 5am. I've noticed that quite a few times people have said they 'want what the stars' want which is beginning to make everyone sound materialistic and only interested in making money! Maybe they are only here to make money who knows? Everyone wants to be rich and famous!

On to the singing, Rachel Adedji sang first wearing a blue and white striped sweater with blue jeans and red heels. She sang Let Me Entertain You by Robbie Williams. Dannii said it was like Rhianna singing Robbie which I thought was an insult since Rhianna is garbage but I think she meant it as a compliment. Rachel Adedji had dancers all around her wearing make up like Kiss and Simon Cowell described it as repulsive. Her performance was pretty good though.

Kandy Rain were up next and were dreadful as usual. I'd be surprised if they make it through week 1. Kandy Rain sang Robert Palmer's Addicted to Love God rest his soul. Their outfits were terrible they just looked like trashy strippers which they are if you read the tabloids. One of them had a bow horn thing in her hair made out of....hair? Dannii and Cheryl said Kandy Rain were dressed too provocatively which led to a tasty argument between Simon and Cheryl. Rubbish. I'm not saying Kandy Rain are any worse than anyone else for their reasons for being on the show, they look desperate to be rich and famous and make as much money as they can. We were treated to the odd interlude by 'creative director' Brian Friedman like anyone gave a crap. He's the guy who always puts some backing dancers in roller skates.

Olly Murs was up next who seems to be the most boring man since Will Young. Yvie Burnett the vocal coach was on for dramatic effect. He sang Robbie Williams She's the One and was ok. Boring but a good performance. Olly Murs Fred Perry shirt looked cool with a skinny black tie. I noticed tonight that he dances like Chris Martin from Coldplay which is not a good thing. Robbie Williams said he wants to be Olly Murs mate. Olly Murs doesn't come across is fame hungry like the others but I'm sure if he was to make a bit of money out of an X Factor success he wouldn't be complaining.

Rikki Loney, do I really want to waste my time on this little toad? Seriously, he had on a purple suit tonight which made him look like Austin Power's retarded urchin brother. He even walked over to the piano to put on his silly little purple hat. His opening scenes showed him singing in The Old Ship Bank in Glasgow then right afterward he started going about how much he wants to get away from singing in pubs with people who aren't interested. So if you book the talent in The Old Ship Bank don't hire this little fool again as he thinks he's too good for your pub. Rikki Loney sang Amy Winehouse's Back to Black. Blah blah no one cares, don't vote him or Kandy Rain. He is one guy who I do think is only here for the fame and fortune! Don't buy his records folks (if he wins) he'll only spend the money on silly little hats.

Stacey Solomon, gallops on again like Red Rum in the Grand National. I think she's had the worst makeover out of everyone so far. She looked much better doing her own style. She sang some horrible version of The Scientist by Coldplay. It went over ok with the judges and the audience though. Stacey Solomon was wearing fitted blue jeans, a waist belt and a white Marilyn Monroe t shirt. Simon Cowell told Stacey Solomon that she's no idea how good she could be.

Miss Frank were excellent. One of the best performances of the night. They were all dressed smartly in black and sang Who's Loving You by the Jackson 5. Simon Cowell said the 'two bookends' were also excellent not just Graziella Affinita. I thought that was a bit unfair as Shar Alexandra and Shaniece Davis have been amazing through the competition it just seems that Graziella Affinita is getting all the attention. Simon couldn't even remember Shar Alexandra's name.

Jamie Archer was back with a trimmed afro. It still looks awful though. He came out wearing a blue military jacket with a white t shirt containing the album covers of punk bands such as the Sex Pistols just to show his rock star credentials. I think Jamie Archer was also wearing eye liner. Jamie Archer sang Get It on Bang a Gong by T Rex and was pretty average as usual.

Lloyd Daniels had his birdshit hair style back again and they had lots of closeups of his piercing blue eyes purely for the girls I'm sure. He looked really stiff on stage and interacting with the dancers was awkward. He sang Justin Timberlake's Cry Me A River but ducked all the high notes so I don't know why he tried to sing this? Lloyd Daniels dressed like Justin Timberlake too wearing a black waistcoat and hoody combination. Cheryl said he'll have a lot of girls crying rivers for him.

Lucie Jones escaped the dungeon that she lives in to make another appearance on the X Factor 2009 live Auditions. She sang Leona Lewis Footprints in the Sand. It's the first time I've heard this song and its truly awful. I think she ducked hitting the high notes as well but Lucie Jones did enough to get through. My favourite part was when the switched on the wind machine for dramatic effect but the only thing it did was blow Lucie Jones's hair in her mouth affecting her singing. She was wearing a purple dress in the style of a Greek Goddess. Pass.

John and Edward the Irish Twins have apparently been getting a hard time from the tabloids but it doesn't seem to affect them any. Robbie Williams seemed to be impressed by them calling John and Edward the Tornadoes of Talk. We were shown the twins sitting at a table reading the tabloids then throwing them away in disgust. They love the attention really. So on to John and Edwards performance. For a start they were lowered on to the stage. Cheesy. Their outfits were awful too. They wore black and white contrasting blazers with silver sparkly trainers which seemed to have little wings on them. Disgusting. They sang Robbie Williams Rock DJ which is a terrible song to start with so they didn't have much to work with. They were energetic dancing around but seemed to miss a few words here and there. Cheryl said that John and Edward can't sing, fact and its not their fault they're in the last 12. Oh the irony. Simon Cowell said it was a musical nightmare and that for them to win the competition it would be a disaster. He also said the only reason Louis put them through is because they're Irish despite the fact that no one in Ireland can vote. They kept flashing up the X Factor phone numbers as well but thankfully no one did the pretend phone hand thing begging for a vote. Give it time though. By week three they contestants won't care about pride or how much money you'll have to spend on a phone call for them its all about the votes!

Joseph McElderry was the next contestant singing Robbie Williams No Regrets. He was quite dull but did a decent version. Simon Cowell said Joseph McElderry was brilliant and a little dark horse. Joseph McElderry had this really ugly tan jacket on with a plaid shirt and hoody. I'm not sure if Joseph McElderry is someone who could be a commercial success? There is a bit of the Gareth Gates about and he did well as far as record sales and making money went so you never know. I'm sure Simon Cowell has a grand plan on how to cash in on him!

Danyl Johnson was sensational, he still has to be the favourite to win the competition. He's streets ahead of anyone apart from Miss Frank at this stage. They made a big deal about him singing a diva song for a women. The song was Jennifer Hudson's And I'm Telling You. He kept his outfit simple with a black jacket and white t shirt. Danyl Johnson was the only X Factor contestant I saw all night who didn't duck the high notes, he was excellent. Louis started off by saying he was too over confident and Danyl doesn't have the likeability factor which is a bit of a joke with him putting the Irish Twins through. Anyway, to perhaps my favourite part of tonight's show. Dannii Minogue tried to make a joke of Danyl Johnson's sexuality, he's gay or bisexual or something it doesn't really matter but Dannii felt the need to point this out and it totally bombed. Her exact quote was "if we're to believe everything we read in the papers there's no need for you to change the gender of the song". God knows what went through her head that told her it was a good idea to say this. Simon actually asked her to clarify it and she said it again. What does Danyl Johnson's sexuality have to do with anything? It's not really there for Dannii Minogue to make jokes about! When she said it you could actually see the tumbleweeds drifting by and Simon looked unsurprisingly irked. He actually told her off by saying that she shouldn't try to play these silly games. I felt bad for Danyl Johnson he looked a bit shocked by the comment and you could see he was getting upset. He actually mouthed back at Dannii that he wasn't ashamed...about what he is I guess? The crowd didn't like it either with a bit of booing going on. Simon said it was one of the best performance's he's ever heard and I have to agree. I can't see anyone challenging Danyl Johnson for the X Factor 2009 crown. You can almost see the pound signs flash in Simon Cowell's eyes with this guy he's going to make money for him on a serious scale.

Results of who's kicked out of the first X Factor 2009 live audition come tomorrow!

X Factor 2009 Live Auditions Episode 1 - Results

I'll cut to the chase, Kandy Rain got kicked out quite deservedly. Who knows how they managed to get through this far. They were up for going home with Rachel Adedji. Louis Walsh was absent because of Stephen Gately's untimely death. Simon Cowell paid tribute to Stephen Gately at the start of tonight's show. Dermot O'Leary opened with a snazzy black pine stripe suit with black tie and white shirt. The contestants came out singing that awful Black Eyed Peas song I Gotta Feeling which is just dreadful. It all was a bit strange with some of the contestants seemingly fighting for the camera. Olly Murs, Jamie Archer and Danyl Johnson were all battling it out. Then Graziella Affinita muscled in. This girl just has to hog the limelight. The weird thing was all the contestants wore different outfits tonight then when they were at the elimination stage they all changed back to last nights outfits? This is probably just as well since John and Edward were dancing around in white jeans and shirts. Awful. I'm glad to say Stacey Solomon had her curly hair back which suits her much better than straight hair.

Alexandra Burke was the first guest performer. The funniest thing about this was that she was miming horribly the whole time. Why get the winner of X Factor 2008 on then have her mime and pretend she's singing. Shame on you Alexandra Burke! Flo Rida was out to help her with her single Bad Boys. Alexandra Burke was wearing a gold coin chain link shingle dress. Back to the judges and Dannii Minogue apologised for last nights shameful comments about Danyl Johnson's sexuality. She actually had the cheek to suggest that she had been joking with Danyl before the audition and that he took the comments in good fun. Anyone who watched last nights show will know this is utter lies. Danyl was almost in tears and you could see him saying that he's not ashamed of what he is! We're supposed to believe he took it all in good faith? Come on, I think they're trying to sweep this whole thing under the carpet. Even Simon Cowell was in on the cover up saying nothing was meant with it. Sack her! She's useless anyway. Cheryl Cole has made her redundant.

Robbie Williams was up next with his latest atrocity. At least he sang live. He looked really spaced out at the end all wired to the moon. Perhaps he was just fired up from the performance heaven forbid I suggest Robbie Williams has been up to something else...hmm. Oh yeah, back to the contestants. Louis voted for Kandy Rain (even though he wasn't there), the two girls voted to send Kandy Rain home and Simon voted to send Rachel Adedji home. Weird. This took us to deadlock ouuu! This was flashed up on screen behind Dermot so we went to the number of public votes each person got. Not surprisingly Kandy Rain got the least and got kicked out. Rachel Adedji looked shocked and a bit pissed off to even be there I can't say I blame her. Kandy Rain sang Stronger by Christina Aguilera to stay in the competition but it didn't do them any good. Good choice Great Britain.

Next week Cheryl Cole will perform her dreadful solo single and Whitney Houston will be performing. I'm looking forward to seeing what effects being married to Bobby Brown has had on her voice.

x factor 2009 Auditions - Final 12 Revealed

X Factor 2009 auditions episode 9 aired on Saturday the 3rd of October and once again it's part of an X Factor double bill with the second part showing on Sunday the 4th of October. This is one of those episodes where they show you all the auditions and then tease the results out until next day. So we don't know if Danyl Johnson, Miss Frank (Graziella Affinita) or Jamie Archer got through. Unless you're looking for X Factor spoilers and you'll be able to find out who the final 12 are already! I'll assume you don't have any X Factor spoilers at this stage and take you through what happened on tonight's episode. First off, there's 24 contestants left who are listed below. Oh and Jade Fubara definitely did not get through to the final 24. Faye Braye also seems to have fallen off the face of the earth.

Girls - Dannii Minogue
Stacey McLean
Despina Pilavakis
Nicole Jackson
Stacey Solomon
Rachel Adedji
Lucie Jones

Boys - Cheryl Cole
Lloyd Daniels
Ethan Boroian
Rikki Loney (you have to be kidding me?)
Daniel Fox
Joseph McElderry
Duane Lamonte

Over 25's - Simon Cowell
Jamie Afro Archer
Daniel Pearce
Olly Murs
Nicole Lawrence
Treyc Cohen
Danyl Johnson

Groups - Louis Walsh
Miss Frank
Kandy Rain
Harmony Hood
Project A
De-Tour
John & Edward

The only change from last week's line up is Trucolorz out for Harmony Hood. Trucolorz got kicked out for lying on their application form. One of the girls in Trucolorz was only 15 so perhaps we'll see them next year as they seemed pretty good. Harmony Hood have been thrown a lifeline but I doubt they'll get through since they're absolutely ghastly.

Ok so we started this round of X Factor 2009 with Cheryl Cole's boys. She had taken them to Marrakesh in Morocco and we were treated them all walking around the area and getting to know the locals. Joseph McElderry was up first and he sang Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word by Elton John. Joseph McElderry seemed a bit nervous but his audition was pretty good. Will Young was the guest judge in to help out Cheryl Cole and he seemed to be impressed. Lloyd Daniels overdid it a bit and was singing far too loud for me his voice was getting a bit distorted on the mic. He sang I'm Yours by Jason Mraz. Pretty average audition by Lloyd Daniels. The weird pop opera singer Daniel Fox was up next singing I can't live by Mariah Carrey. Daniel Fox has such a powerful voice but I'm not sure if his audition was that great. He seemed to be overdoing it a bit like a lot of the guys out there. Ethan Boroian the man from Chicago was up next singing Elton John's I guess that's why they call it the blues. I think Will Young was a fan of his looks more than his singing. Ethan Boroian was pretty average he seems to be quite confident in himself and so felt he didn't have to push it too much. Duane Lamonte followed Ethan Boroian singing Closer by Ne Yo and I thought he was excellent. Will Young also seemed to be impressed by Duane Lamonte. Rikki Loney was last to go for the boys. How the hell did Rikki Loney make it this far? He was back with his silly little hat on again and I think he sang You've Got a Friend by Carole King. To be honest I was too annoyed by his his hat and outfit to really pay attention. I really don't like Rikki Loney's voice either.

The X Factor auditions continued with the absolutely awful groups, Miss Frank aside. Guest judge for Louis Walsh's groups was Ronan Keating who is definitely start to look his age. Ronan Keating also had some weird thing going on with his hair, a sort of comb over effect perhaps trying to hide a bald spot? I don't know to be honest. Anyway Project A were up first singing What's Up by 4 Non Blondes. Was it any coincidence that Lord of the Rings was on the other channel at the same time these hobbits were destroying this song. I'm not a fan of Project A. Ronan Keating pointed out that they didn't have any chemistry which seemed to be a bit of a theme. My favourite group of all time Kandy Rain followed. Apparently they've all be outed this week for being strippers or work as porn stars some crap like that. I don't care as any controversy will just mean that I have to hear about Kandy Rain all the more. They sang Paparazzi by Lady Gaga which was just a complete disaster. Please don't put them through Louis. De-Tour, I can't even remember these guys. They had some strange matching white t shirt brace combination going on it didn't do them any favours. Ronan Keating said De-Tour's harmonies were terrible and he was right. De-Tour sang Tiny dancer by Elton John and were rotten. The groups are absolutely awful. I wish they'd put Miss Frank through then a few more boys or some from the over 25's section. Harmony Hood seriously where to start with this lot. They sang Never Can Say Goodbye which is an original of the Jackson 5. They were pretty terrible with Ronan Keating saying Harmony Hood just didn't work. I also think they're too ugly to be pop stars but that's just me. Miss Frank! Save us from this group mediocrity. We all know Graziella Affinita run's this group which is not to take anything away from Shar Alexandra and Shaniece Davis. They both have fantastic voices too it just seems like Graziella Affinita is overshadowing them with her antics. I'm not sure where Graziella Affinita is from though was it London? Miss Frank sang Respect by Aretha Franklin and were excellent. The best group by miles. Miss Frank will definitely get through to the last 12 of X Factor. Graziella Affinita actually did a Spanish rap in the middle of Miss Frank's song! Ronan Keating and Louis Walsh were obviously impressed. John and Edward the Irish twins were last to go in this section. They were back with their crazy hair and generally annoying personalities. John and Edward started on about how they wanted to inspire a new trend of people with big hair much the same as Britney Spears did with belly tops. I don't think so guys, you look ridiculous. John and Edward the Irish twins sang I Want It That Way by the Backstreet Boys. John and Edward were average as per usual and started to cry a bit at the end. That gave me a good laugh. I forgot to mention that for once Louis Walsh didn't take his contestants to Dublin but Lake Como in Italy.

Now on to some serious talent when the X Factor 2009 continued with Simon Cowell's over 25's. They were in Los Angeles for the auditions and guest judge was Sinitta. Sinitta came out naked with the exception of some banana leaves to spare her blushes? Why you ask? I have no idea. Perhaps Sinitta thought that someone other than Simon Cowell was actually interested in seeing her naked. So after that embarrassing episode Olly Murs kicked things off with his version of Michael Buble's A Song For You. Olly Murs did well but suffered from nerves which both Simon Coweel and Sinnita picked up on. Treyc Cohen was excellent she's a real dark horse for the competition and I really hope she get's through after this audition. Treyc Cohen sang Whitney Houston's He Fills Me Up. Treyc Cohen was definitely one of the best auditions for me the only down side was Simon saying she lacked that star belief whatever that means. Daniel Pearce was back with his green mohican singing Carrie Underwood's Praying For Time. I thought Daniel Pearce really overdid it with his voice failing him a couple of times. I did like Daniel Pearce's Samurai T Shirt however. Nicole Lawrence was going on about her dad being dead again. I thought we were done with all the sob stories at this stage? I really don't know what Nicole Lawrence sang as she was grunting, shouting and groaning her way through the song. I actually had to press the mute button she was overdoing it so much. I think Nicole Lawrence might have blown her chances of getting through to the X Factor final 12 but what do I know. Simon Cowell said she was incredible...hmm. Danyl Johnson also seemed to blow his chances by trying too hard. Seriously guys relax and let your talent shine through. Danyl Johnson sang Falling by Alicia Keyes and as I said really overdid it with his jittery dance moves and his crazy face snarling. Simon Cowell said Danyl Johnson was Marmite, you either love him or hate him. Jamie Afro Archer was last to go singing Stop Crying Your Heart Out by Oasis. This is the first time Jamie Archer has sang without the help of the audience which I've always given him a hard time about. He did well though and I liked his audition so I think Jamie Afro Archer should go through to the final 12.

Last but not least on this round of the X Factor 2009 auditions was the girls led by Dannii Minogue. Danni Minogue had taken them to some paradise hotel in Dubai and her guest judge was sister Kylie Minogue who dazzled in a green dress. Horse-faced Stacey Solomon kicked things off with Somewhere Over the Rainbow and did well. She seemed to struggle with her fake eye lashes though making her eyes go all droopy. Stacey Solomon did impress the judges however. The mahogany princess Stacey McLean was up next and would have been delighted to top up her fake tan with some real sunshine in Dubai. Stacey McLean was really nervous and her performance of Britney Spears Sometimes suffered because of it. Rachel Adedji was excellent and has been every time I've seen her. Rachel Adedji sang Pink's Nobody Knows and her voice was terrific. Despina Pilavakis was someone else who suffered from nerves and her voice was all over the place. Despina Pilavakis sang Christina Aguilera's Voice Within. I'd take a guess and say Despina Pilavakis won't make it to the final 12. Kylie Minogue didn't really have anything of value to add so unfortunately she seems as interesting as her sister Dannii. Lucie Jones the Welsh girl who makes out like she's kept in a dungeon in Mordor sang Anything For You by Gloria Estefan. I always wonder how the residents of Lucie Jone's home town of Pentyrch of her making out like she's wasted in that town and destined for bigger things. Anyway she was excellent and Lucie Jones has to go through. Last up was Nicole Jackson who to be honest I can't really remember. We had a bit of a sob story about how she hasn't spoken to her dad for a few years but hopes that if she gets through her dad will get in touch. I bet he will. So no pressure, Dannie and Kylie, you have to put Nicole Jackson through or she won't get to see her dad again. Nicole Jackson was doing really well until she broke down halfway through the audition. She picked it up amazingly well though and really impressed me. Danni and Kylie were almost in tears at the end.

All the results of who got through to the X Factor 2009 final 12 will come tomorrow!

X Factor Final 12 Results

Girls - Dannii Minogue
Lucie Jones
Rachel Adedji
Stacey Solomon

Groups - Louis Walsh
Miss Frank
Kandy Rain
John and Edward

Boys - Cheryl Cole
Rikki Loney
Lloyd Daniels
Joe McElderry

Over 25 - Simon Cowell
Danyl Johnson
Olly Murs
Jamie Afro Archer

Ok so let the rant start about the X Factor 2009 results of the final 12! First up the girls was pretty straight forward for Dannii Minogue. No major controversy as far as I'm concerned. Lucie Jones has been excellent and every round and has to be a favourite to win the X Factor 2009. Nicole Jackson messed up yesterdays audition in Dubai and so that was probably the main reason she didn't get through. Dannii Minogue said that she lacks confidence. Stacey McLean didn't get through as she isn't strong enough as a solo artist. What a tan though, I mean it's terrific isn't it? I hope Stacey McLean watches it back and tones it down a few shades. Rachel Adedji got through she's been amazing every round as well. Not sure about Rachel Adedji's new hairdo at the closing credits though? Looks a bit like a Grace Jones number from the 1980's. Despina Pilavakis is out as well, she messed up her audition in Dubai. I don't think she was good enough to win the competition anyway. Stacey Solomon was last to go through and she gallops on to the final 12. I didn't like her make over at the end but at least they got rid of Stacey Solomon's horrible fake eyelashes. Uggh!

Groups, what can Louis Walsh salvage from this train wreck. De-Tour didn't get through unsurprisingly. Louis said they didn't have the start quality so De-Tour are out. Miss Frank got through no surprises there. Miss Frank are the best group by miles and looked much better after the X Factor makeovers at the end! Harmony Hood had a little teddy bear with them I guess for good luck. Well done teddy bear you didn't bring them any! Harmony Hood are out as they should be for being generally crap. Kandy Rain. Wow there is no stopping these clowns. Louis put them through saying they were sexy but seriously Kandy Rain are awful. Project A didn't get through with Louish Walsh adding that they didn't have the wow factor or X Factor. I'd agree with that Project A didn't do anything for me. Last but not least is John and Edward the Irish twins. They got through too unbelievably. I'm not sure how the public will react to John and Edward but I guess we'll find out next week. Louis Walsh compared them to a young Boyzone so god help us all.

Boys, based on this evidence Cheryl Cole couldn't pick her nose properly. Her choices were absolutely terrible and she should be banned from judging anything for the rest of her natural life. She put Rikki Loney through! Can you believe that? The guy is awful. He has this weird eyebrow thing going on too which is in serious need of plucking. Unfortunately the X Factor makeover team disagrees as I saw it at the end credits! I don't understand why Rikki Loney got through he's absolutely no chance of winning the show. Ethan Boroian is out which I couldn't believe. He is so much better than Rikki Loney so I'm not sure what Cheryl Cole is thinking. Hopefully Ethan Boroian will go for American Idol and win it. Wow. Next ridiculous decision was to put Joseph McElderry though before Duane Lamonte. Duane Lamonte was sent home and was understandably upset by this. I thought he was excellent at his Marrakesh audition yesterday. I still think Cheryl Cole is related to Joseph McElderry! My favourite part was when she was going oh Joseph you know I have to put any sentimentality I have towards you aside and judge this fairly...you're through! What a joke. Again, does anyone really think he could win this? No! I think Duane Lamonte could have though. Lloyd Daniels got through as well and thankfully they fixed his hair at the end. Up until now he looked like a bird shat in his hair. They've given Lloyd Daniels a comb over do which looks much better. In conclusion I thought the judging of this was a complete joke. Cheryl you've done an awful job.

Over 25's didn't hold too many surprises either. Danyl Johnson got through, you can almost see the pound signs in Simon Cowell's eyes when this guy appears. After all the attention Danyl Johnson got in America he was always going to go through. Olly Murs also got in, I don't have anything to add to this other than I find Olly Murs extremely dull. Treyc Cohen didn't get through which I thought was a real shame. She had been excellent in all the rounds. Perhaps someone at X Factor HQ doesn't want another young black female singer winning it again this year? Three years in a row might be a bit of market saturation. Daniel Pearce didn't get through either. Simon gave him some weird reason about giving someone else a shot which is rubbish. If the guy's good enough give him another go! I thought Daniel Pearce was excellent too, shame he's out. Nicole Lawrence was finally put out of her misery. Most weeks she sounded like a wounded animal so Simon finally did the decent thing and sent her home. She's the size of a house. Jamie Afro Archer was the last guy to go through. Simon Cowell told him he'd be going home...with a ticket to the finals. Sneaky! Jamie Archer has to be another favourite to win the X Factor. They also trimmed his afro a bit at the makeover in the end.

Next week there's a double bill plus X Factor 2008 winner Alexandra Burke and Robbie Williams will be performing...oh job.