x factor 2009 Auditions - Final 12 Revealed

X Factor 2009 auditions episode 9 aired on Saturday the 3rd of October and once again it's part of an X Factor double bill with the second part showing on Sunday the 4th of October. This is one of those episodes where they show you all the auditions and then tease the results out until next day. So we don't know if Danyl Johnson, Miss Frank (Graziella Affinita) or Jamie Archer got through. Unless you're looking for X Factor spoilers and you'll be able to find out who the final 12 are already! I'll assume you don't have any X Factor spoilers at this stage and take you through what happened on tonight's episode. First off, there's 24 contestants left who are listed below. Oh and Jade Fubara definitely did not get through to the final 24. Faye Braye also seems to have fallen off the face of the earth.

Girls - Dannii Minogue
Stacey McLean
Despina Pilavakis
Nicole Jackson
Stacey Solomon
Rachel Adedji
Lucie Jones

Boys - Cheryl Cole
Lloyd Daniels
Ethan Boroian
Rikki Loney (you have to be kidding me?)
Daniel Fox
Joseph McElderry
Duane Lamonte

Over 25's - Simon Cowell
Jamie Afro Archer
Daniel Pearce
Olly Murs
Nicole Lawrence
Treyc Cohen
Danyl Johnson

Groups - Louis Walsh
Miss Frank
Kandy Rain
Harmony Hood
Project A
De-Tour
John & Edward

The only change from last week's line up is Trucolorz out for Harmony Hood. Trucolorz got kicked out for lying on their application form. One of the girls in Trucolorz was only 15 so perhaps we'll see them next year as they seemed pretty good. Harmony Hood have been thrown a lifeline but I doubt they'll get through since they're absolutely ghastly.

Ok so we started this round of X Factor 2009 with Cheryl Cole's boys. She had taken them to Marrakesh in Morocco and we were treated them all walking around the area and getting to know the locals. Joseph McElderry was up first and he sang Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word by Elton John. Joseph McElderry seemed a bit nervous but his audition was pretty good. Will Young was the guest judge in to help out Cheryl Cole and he seemed to be impressed. Lloyd Daniels overdid it a bit and was singing far too loud for me his voice was getting a bit distorted on the mic. He sang I'm Yours by Jason Mraz. Pretty average audition by Lloyd Daniels. The weird pop opera singer Daniel Fox was up next singing I can't live by Mariah Carrey. Daniel Fox has such a powerful voice but I'm not sure if his audition was that great. He seemed to be overdoing it a bit like a lot of the guys out there. Ethan Boroian the man from Chicago was up next singing Elton John's I guess that's why they call it the blues. I think Will Young was a fan of his looks more than his singing. Ethan Boroian was pretty average he seems to be quite confident in himself and so felt he didn't have to push it too much. Duane Lamonte followed Ethan Boroian singing Closer by Ne Yo and I thought he was excellent. Will Young also seemed to be impressed by Duane Lamonte. Rikki Loney was last to go for the boys. How the hell did Rikki Loney make it this far? He was back with his silly little hat on again and I think he sang You've Got a Friend by Carole King. To be honest I was too annoyed by his his hat and outfit to really pay attention. I really don't like Rikki Loney's voice either.

The X Factor auditions continued with the absolutely awful groups, Miss Frank aside. Guest judge for Louis Walsh's groups was Ronan Keating who is definitely start to look his age. Ronan Keating also had some weird thing going on with his hair, a sort of comb over effect perhaps trying to hide a bald spot? I don't know to be honest. Anyway Project A were up first singing What's Up by 4 Non Blondes. Was it any coincidence that Lord of the Rings was on the other channel at the same time these hobbits were destroying this song. I'm not a fan of Project A. Ronan Keating pointed out that they didn't have any chemistry which seemed to be a bit of a theme. My favourite group of all time Kandy Rain followed. Apparently they've all be outed this week for being strippers or work as porn stars some crap like that. I don't care as any controversy will just mean that I have to hear about Kandy Rain all the more. They sang Paparazzi by Lady Gaga which was just a complete disaster. Please don't put them through Louis. De-Tour, I can't even remember these guys. They had some strange matching white t shirt brace combination going on it didn't do them any favours. Ronan Keating said De-Tour's harmonies were terrible and he was right. De-Tour sang Tiny dancer by Elton John and were rotten. The groups are absolutely awful. I wish they'd put Miss Frank through then a few more boys or some from the over 25's section. Harmony Hood seriously where to start with this lot. They sang Never Can Say Goodbye which is an original of the Jackson 5. They were pretty terrible with Ronan Keating saying Harmony Hood just didn't work. I also think they're too ugly to be pop stars but that's just me. Miss Frank! Save us from this group mediocrity. We all know Graziella Affinita run's this group which is not to take anything away from Shar Alexandra and Shaniece Davis. They both have fantastic voices too it just seems like Graziella Affinita is overshadowing them with her antics. I'm not sure where Graziella Affinita is from though was it London? Miss Frank sang Respect by Aretha Franklin and were excellent. The best group by miles. Miss Frank will definitely get through to the last 12 of X Factor. Graziella Affinita actually did a Spanish rap in the middle of Miss Frank's song! Ronan Keating and Louis Walsh were obviously impressed. John and Edward the Irish twins were last to go in this section. They were back with their crazy hair and generally annoying personalities. John and Edward started on about how they wanted to inspire a new trend of people with big hair much the same as Britney Spears did with belly tops. I don't think so guys, you look ridiculous. John and Edward the Irish twins sang I Want It That Way by the Backstreet Boys. John and Edward were average as per usual and started to cry a bit at the end. That gave me a good laugh. I forgot to mention that for once Louis Walsh didn't take his contestants to Dublin but Lake Como in Italy.

Now on to some serious talent when the X Factor 2009 continued with Simon Cowell's over 25's. They were in Los Angeles for the auditions and guest judge was Sinitta. Sinitta came out naked with the exception of some banana leaves to spare her blushes? Why you ask? I have no idea. Perhaps Sinitta thought that someone other than Simon Cowell was actually interested in seeing her naked. So after that embarrassing episode Olly Murs kicked things off with his version of Michael Buble's A Song For You. Olly Murs did well but suffered from nerves which both Simon Coweel and Sinnita picked up on. Treyc Cohen was excellent she's a real dark horse for the competition and I really hope she get's through after this audition. Treyc Cohen sang Whitney Houston's He Fills Me Up. Treyc Cohen was definitely one of the best auditions for me the only down side was Simon saying she lacked that star belief whatever that means. Daniel Pearce was back with his green mohican singing Carrie Underwood's Praying For Time. I thought Daniel Pearce really overdid it with his voice failing him a couple of times. I did like Daniel Pearce's Samurai T Shirt however. Nicole Lawrence was going on about her dad being dead again. I thought we were done with all the sob stories at this stage? I really don't know what Nicole Lawrence sang as she was grunting, shouting and groaning her way through the song. I actually had to press the mute button she was overdoing it so much. I think Nicole Lawrence might have blown her chances of getting through to the X Factor final 12 but what do I know. Simon Cowell said she was incredible...hmm. Danyl Johnson also seemed to blow his chances by trying too hard. Seriously guys relax and let your talent shine through. Danyl Johnson sang Falling by Alicia Keyes and as I said really overdid it with his jittery dance moves and his crazy face snarling. Simon Cowell said Danyl Johnson was Marmite, you either love him or hate him. Jamie Afro Archer was last to go singing Stop Crying Your Heart Out by Oasis. This is the first time Jamie Archer has sang without the help of the audience which I've always given him a hard time about. He did well though and I liked his audition so I think Jamie Afro Archer should go through to the final 12.

Last but not least on this round of the X Factor 2009 auditions was the girls led by Dannii Minogue. Danni Minogue had taken them to some paradise hotel in Dubai and her guest judge was sister Kylie Minogue who dazzled in a green dress. Horse-faced Stacey Solomon kicked things off with Somewhere Over the Rainbow and did well. She seemed to struggle with her fake eye lashes though making her eyes go all droopy. Stacey Solomon did impress the judges however. The mahogany princess Stacey McLean was up next and would have been delighted to top up her fake tan with some real sunshine in Dubai. Stacey McLean was really nervous and her performance of Britney Spears Sometimes suffered because of it. Rachel Adedji was excellent and has been every time I've seen her. Rachel Adedji sang Pink's Nobody Knows and her voice was terrific. Despina Pilavakis was someone else who suffered from nerves and her voice was all over the place. Despina Pilavakis sang Christina Aguilera's Voice Within. I'd take a guess and say Despina Pilavakis won't make it to the final 12. Kylie Minogue didn't really have anything of value to add so unfortunately she seems as interesting as her sister Dannii. Lucie Jones the Welsh girl who makes out like she's kept in a dungeon in Mordor sang Anything For You by Gloria Estefan. I always wonder how the residents of Lucie Jone's home town of Pentyrch of her making out like she's wasted in that town and destined for bigger things. Anyway she was excellent and Lucie Jones has to go through. Last up was Nicole Jackson who to be honest I can't really remember. We had a bit of a sob story about how she hasn't spoken to her dad for a few years but hopes that if she gets through her dad will get in touch. I bet he will. So no pressure, Dannie and Kylie, you have to put Nicole Jackson through or she won't get to see her dad again. Nicole Jackson was doing really well until she broke down halfway through the audition. She picked it up amazingly well though and really impressed me. Danni and Kylie were almost in tears at the end.

All the results of who got through to the X Factor 2009 final 12 will come tomorrow!

X Factor Final 12 Results

Girls - Dannii Minogue
Lucie Jones
Rachel Adedji
Stacey Solomon

Groups - Louis Walsh
Miss Frank
Kandy Rain
John and Edward

Boys - Cheryl Cole
Rikki Loney
Lloyd Daniels
Joe McElderry

Over 25 - Simon Cowell
Danyl Johnson
Olly Murs
Jamie Afro Archer

Ok so let the rant start about the X Factor 2009 results of the final 12! First up the girls was pretty straight forward for Dannii Minogue. No major controversy as far as I'm concerned. Lucie Jones has been excellent and every round and has to be a favourite to win the X Factor 2009. Nicole Jackson messed up yesterdays audition in Dubai and so that was probably the main reason she didn't get through. Dannii Minogue said that she lacks confidence. Stacey McLean didn't get through as she isn't strong enough as a solo artist. What a tan though, I mean it's terrific isn't it? I hope Stacey McLean watches it back and tones it down a few shades. Rachel Adedji got through she's been amazing every round as well. Not sure about Rachel Adedji's new hairdo at the closing credits though? Looks a bit like a Grace Jones number from the 1980's. Despina Pilavakis is out as well, she messed up her audition in Dubai. I don't think she was good enough to win the competition anyway. Stacey Solomon was last to go through and she gallops on to the final 12. I didn't like her make over at the end but at least they got rid of Stacey Solomon's horrible fake eyelashes. Uggh!

Groups, what can Louis Walsh salvage from this train wreck. De-Tour didn't get through unsurprisingly. Louis said they didn't have the start quality so De-Tour are out. Miss Frank got through no surprises there. Miss Frank are the best group by miles and looked much better after the X Factor makeovers at the end! Harmony Hood had a little teddy bear with them I guess for good luck. Well done teddy bear you didn't bring them any! Harmony Hood are out as they should be for being generally crap. Kandy Rain. Wow there is no stopping these clowns. Louis put them through saying they were sexy but seriously Kandy Rain are awful. Project A didn't get through with Louish Walsh adding that they didn't have the wow factor or X Factor. I'd agree with that Project A didn't do anything for me. Last but not least is John and Edward the Irish twins. They got through too unbelievably. I'm not sure how the public will react to John and Edward but I guess we'll find out next week. Louis Walsh compared them to a young Boyzone so god help us all.

Boys, based on this evidence Cheryl Cole couldn't pick her nose properly. Her choices were absolutely terrible and she should be banned from judging anything for the rest of her natural life. She put Rikki Loney through! Can you believe that? The guy is awful. He has this weird eyebrow thing going on too which is in serious need of plucking. Unfortunately the X Factor makeover team disagrees as I saw it at the end credits! I don't understand why Rikki Loney got through he's absolutely no chance of winning the show. Ethan Boroian is out which I couldn't believe. He is so much better than Rikki Loney so I'm not sure what Cheryl Cole is thinking. Hopefully Ethan Boroian will go for American Idol and win it. Wow. Next ridiculous decision was to put Joseph McElderry though before Duane Lamonte. Duane Lamonte was sent home and was understandably upset by this. I thought he was excellent at his Marrakesh audition yesterday. I still think Cheryl Cole is related to Joseph McElderry! My favourite part was when she was going oh Joseph you know I have to put any sentimentality I have towards you aside and judge this fairly...you're through! What a joke. Again, does anyone really think he could win this? No! I think Duane Lamonte could have though. Lloyd Daniels got through as well and thankfully they fixed his hair at the end. Up until now he looked like a bird shat in his hair. They've given Lloyd Daniels a comb over do which looks much better. In conclusion I thought the judging of this was a complete joke. Cheryl you've done an awful job.

Over 25's didn't hold too many surprises either. Danyl Johnson got through, you can almost see the pound signs in Simon Cowell's eyes when this guy appears. After all the attention Danyl Johnson got in America he was always going to go through. Olly Murs also got in, I don't have anything to add to this other than I find Olly Murs extremely dull. Treyc Cohen didn't get through which I thought was a real shame. She had been excellent in all the rounds. Perhaps someone at X Factor HQ doesn't want another young black female singer winning it again this year? Three years in a row might be a bit of market saturation. Daniel Pearce didn't get through either. Simon gave him some weird reason about giving someone else a shot which is rubbish. If the guy's good enough give him another go! I thought Daniel Pearce was excellent too, shame he's out. Nicole Lawrence was finally put out of her misery. Most weeks she sounded like a wounded animal so Simon finally did the decent thing and sent her home. She's the size of a house. Jamie Afro Archer was the last guy to go through. Simon Cowell told him he'd be going home...with a ticket to the finals. Sneaky! Jamie Archer has to be another favourite to win the X Factor. They also trimmed his afro a bit at the makeover in the end.

Next week there's a double bill plus X Factor 2008 winner Alexandra Burke and Robbie Williams will be performing...oh job.

X Factor 2009 Boot Camp Episode 1 Episode 2

X Factor 2009 Boot Camp got underway on Saturday the 26th of September 2009 and to be honest it was all a bit confusing! It's part of a double bill the second part coming up on Sunday the 27th of September and that's when we'll find out who officially got into the knockout stages of X Factor 2009. There will be 24 contestants who get through X Factor 2009 boot camp to the knockout stages. So I'll try and do a roundup of tonight's episodes which is easier said than done! X Factor 2009 boot camp was filmed some time in August in London's Hammersmith Apollo in front of 4000 X Factor fans. The show tonight was split in two, with the first auditions skipped through quite quickly. I'm still wondering who got through the X Factor 2009 Boot Camp in a lot of cases!

First group to sing on X Factor 2009 Boot Camp were made up of It Takez 2, the Pontins entertainers who now work in Alton Towers, Just Du-Et who I'd never seen before were they on the Xtra Factor? Alicia was also in it who I don't remember either. They sang Breakeven by The Script and were absolutely terrible. Alicia then admitted to Simon Cowell that she picked It Takez 2 and Just Du-Et on purpose so she would look much better. Alicia got through this round of X Factor Boot Camp with Just Du-Et and It Takez 2 going home. Alistair Nwachukwu and William Tackie were in the next group. William Tackie must be another Xtra Factor contestant as I can't remember him from the ITV1 X Factor 2009 Auditions. Alistair Nwachukwu is someone I do know however as he showed a lot of promise in the X Factor 2009 Auditions Episode 4. I don't think he got through tonight though as his singing was really off key. William Tackie is another one who fell tonight, he won't be going any further in the competition. Alistair Nwachukwu sang I'll be There by the Jackson 5 but it was a really bad audition. Andrew Fawcus? Another funny name which goes with his funny face. I'm not sure if it was make up or fake tan that Andrew Fawcus had all over the place. I had never heard of him he sang Hot N Cold by Katie Perry along with some unamed ginger girl. Louis Walsh praised Andrew Fawcus's dancing, which to be honest was terrible. They didn't go through. Amie Buck, the Megan Fox lookalike pole dancing stripper forget her lyrics again. She was supposed to be singing...I don't know to be honest. Amie Buck didn't sing enough of the words for me to understand it. So Amie Buck goes back to being a stripper. I think she only got through her first audition because of her looks so she can't have too many complaints.

Graziella Affinita was back with a sob story we seemed to have missed first time round. She was going on about her hard childhood and the usual rubbish. Graziella Affinita was in a group with Shar Alexandra and Shaniece Davis and I'd say they were one of the best groups on tonight's show. Cheryl Cole said they were killing it and should become a group. More on that later, we haven't seen the last of Graziella Affinita, Shar Alexandra and Shaniece Davis. Lucie Jones got through this stage singing Mariah Carrey's Hero. I'd still say Lucie Jones is one of the favourites to win X Factor 2009. Kandy Rain were back singing what I think was Apologize by One Republic. I thought Kandy Rain were rubbish again but what do I know. They got through this round. Joseph McElderry also got through singing Kings of Leon Use Somebody with all the judges saying how much they liked him. I still think Joseph McElderry is related to Cheryl Cole. Anyway enough of my conspiracy theories. Jamie Afro Archer got through this section despite being distinctly average. If it wasn't for his hair there would be absolutely nothing memorable about Jamie Afro Archer at all.

So how did the Irish Twins John and Edward get on in X Factor 2009 Boot Camp. Well they turned out to be just as annoying as everyone first expected. One of them did a front flip cartwheel thing on stage which was embarrassing. It looked ridiculous. They sang Apologize by One Republic along with Miss Fitz (who seemed to be missing a member but this wasn't mentioned on the show) and Sian Paley whoever she was. Another Xtra Factor contestant I assume? I don't know why they didn't explain where the other member of Miss Fitz went to either. Anyway, Miss Fitz and John and Edward got through with a bit of controversy. John and Edward were pretty terrible, they did some awful dance routine which was excruciating to watch. It was totally out of time with the song and all over the place. The worst part was when they missed there parts and sang over Miss Fitz and Sian Paley. Sian Paley seemed to suffer most and ended up getting booted out. Simon could be heard calling them brats and to be honest the only one who seems to like them and their stupid hair is Louis Walsh. He was comparing them to Wham or Bros. They annoying little twits even managed to upstage Sian Paley's exit interview by jumping out the doors wha-hooing at the camera as she stood there. Get John and Edward out of X Factor 2009 I've had enough of them already!

Treyc Cohen got through this first stage of X Factor 2009 boot camp. Treyc Cohen Joined Olly Murs who sang One Love by U2. Olly Murs seemed to cruise into the next stage. Shanna Goodhead got through the first stage of X Factor 2009 boot camp. Shanna Goodhead sang Hero by Mariah Carrey. William Hooper didn't get through though but he did well for an 82 year old. William Hooper was shown the night before offering to make everyone a cup of tea.

That was the first knockout round over with. We were now down to the last 100 contestants. They were split up into 4 rooms, 25 X Factor 2009 contestants in each room. The room with Danyl Johnson, John and Edward the Irish Twins, Lucie Jones all got through. I think the Leonna Twins got through as well or Sirens I think there name was? Surprisingly Graziella Affinita, Shar Alexandra and Shaniece Davis all got told that they were out which was silly since they were excellent. Turns out it was all part of Simon Cowell's masterplan to put them in as a group. This makes total sense as the groups have been awful this year. Looks wise Graziella Affinita, Shar Alexandra and Shaniece Davis aren't up to much but they have amazing voices. I think we should name them Shagra what do you think? Jamie Afro Archer, the guy from Chicago Ethan Boroian, Stacey Solomon and Lloyd Daniels also got through to the final 50.

Ok so on to the final part of X Factor 2009 Boot Camp episode 1. We were shown the auditions for the final 50 which will be reduced to the final 24 to compete on the live X Factor shows. We wont find out the result until tomorrow when the show the second part of the X Factor Boot Camp double bill. We were shown Joseph McElderry singing George Michael's Praying for Time. I thought he was overdoing it a bit but all the judges seemed to like it. Simon said it might be a couple of years too soon for Joseph McElderry. I think he's the new Gareth Gates. He'll go through. Nicole Jackson sang Stop Crying Your Heart Out by Oasis and it seemed to go well. Nicole Jackson will probably go through too. Ethan Boroian sang Paulo Nutini's Lay Down Beside Me and was very good I'd still say he's one of the favourites to win X Factor 2009. Rozelle Phillip sang Jennifer Hudson's You're Gonna Love Me and I thought she really overdid it. Rozelle Phillip was kind of grunting in to the mic at some parts! Daniel Fox was back with his operatic style singing With or Without you by U2. The judges seemed to like Daniel Fox but I'm not sure where he fits in to the X Factor! Lucie Jones sang Christina Aguilera's Hurt. She did an excellent job but the judges seemed concerned that she can only sing ballads.

Rachel Adedeji sang Paulo Nutini's Lay Down Beside me and was very good. The crowd loved it. Duane Lamonte was back we'll find out if he got through tomorrow. Trucolorz were pretty average. Trucolorz sang Gabrielle's Rise we'll find out if they got through pretty soon. Daryl Markham was back again singing I can't do it by Myself by Anita Bryant. Everyone seemed to enjoy Daryl Markham. Daniel Pearce was sporting a green mohawk tonight and did his own take on Prince's Purple rain. Personally it sounded to me like Daniel Pearce was gargling with listerine. Nicole Lawrence was last up and she was back on to her sob story about her dad dying and how he's watching over her you know the usual sentimental mystical rubbish. Whatever works for her I guess. She sang Jennifer Hudson's I'm telling you. The crowd and judges loved it I thought Nicole Lawrence was terrible and had to fast forward it. I couldn't listen to anymore of her growling in to the microphone it was scary. She had a few tears for Dermot at the end but we'll find out which of these contestants go through in tomorrows second part of the double bill. Danyl Johnson was hardly in tonight's I wonder if they're trying to tone things down a bit with the hype to give the other contestants a chance. Danyl Johnson was getting so much press after all. Jade Fubara was nowhere to be seen. Perhaps they did show some Jade Fubara and I missed it? Also Faye Bray the now infamous prison lecturer who turned up in lingerie for her X Factor audition didn't appear on tonight's show. M & G the Harrods guys were nowhere to be seen either! Curtis Moore the little boy with the tag on his leg wasn't shown too much either. Maybe after the press showed Curtis Moore with Knives on his Bebo page they kicked Curtis Moore off the show?

X Factor 2009 Boot Camp Episode 2 - The Results

Ok so ITV decided to string out the results of the boot camp auditions until Sunday the 27th of September 2009. They showed a few auditions for this on the 26th of September but the majority of the boot camp auditions were shown on tonight's episode. Behrouz Ghaemi was up first back with his leather trousers again. Behrouz Ghaemi is the guy from Iran or Persia as he called it who sang the Scissor Sisters at the X Factor auditions. He was back with his eye liner and his crazy eyes and did a really over the top version of Purple Rain by Prince it was pretty awful. This is a bit of a spoiler here as I'll tell you all the results at the end but Behrouz Ghaemi didn't get through. Treyc Cohen was up next and she was complaining about losing her voice and she did sound a bit husky compared to normal. She sang Ben my Michael Jackson and Treyc Cohen did get through the boot camp stage. I think she should get it on with Jamie Archer they could make little afro babies. Despina Pilavakis also sang Purple Rain by Prince and Despina Pilavakis qualified and got through the boot camp stage. Lloyd Daniels is the blue eyed blonde haired Welsh kid and this time sang Michael Jackson's You Are Not Alone. Lloyd Daniels got through boot camp to the next stage. Kandy Rain are the girl group I hate but just keep on marching through each round. Kandy Rain turned up this time in the Pussycat Dolls leftover clothes and got through to the next round by singing Stop Crying Your Heart Out by Oasis.

Jade Fubara was back! She wasn't shown much on last nights episode of the X Factor 2009 Boot camp. Unfortunately for Jade Fubara she didn't get through. Her audition at the boot camp stage was really overdone, she grunted and growled her way through Jennifer Hudson's And I'm Telling You. Shame I thought Jade Fubara was going to do well in the competition. Dominic Harris sang Paulo Nutini Lay Down Beside Me and I thought he did a pretty good job. It wasn't enough to get through however and Dominic Harris is out of the X Factor 2009. Miss Frank is the new name for Graziella Affinita, Shar Alexandra and Shaniece Davis girl group. Pity they didn't go for Shagra. Anyway, they got through singing Wishing on a Star. It was all pretty pedestrian from Miss Frank until Graziella Affinita started rapping and that got the crowd going and seemed to wake Simon Cowell up. I was sitting on couch cringing, I thought it was awful. Miss Frank got through the boot camp section which wasn't a surprise as the groups are terrible this year. Simon Cowell said they had no chemistry and that Graziella Affinita looks like she doesn't need the other two which is a bit rich since he put them together in the first place. Groups brings me on to Miss Fitz who didn't get through. They only had two members and no explanation was given as to what happened with the other girl. I didn't catch her name but she appeared in the group on Episode 2 of the X Factor 2009 auditions. She was the one who appeared on X Factor in the same year as Leona Lewis won it. I'm not sure if Miss Fitz split up or the girl left as she got a better record deal so I'm going to make something up. Miss Fitz pulled out of the competition due to cannibalism. The two surviving members of Miss Fitz got so hungry in the hotel room that they ate the other one and that's why Miss Fitz could no longer take part in the X Factor.

Thomas Calvert (?) forgot the words to I'll Keep Holding On. Thomas Calvert didn't qualify from the boot camp stage. Ivy Chanel (?) didn't qualify from boot camp as she also forgot her words. Scott James didn't qualify from boot camp as he forgot his words. Simon Cowell was heard saying that Scott James froze on stage. This was the guy who has autism and found it hard to leave his bedroom so we can understand him having trouble performing in front of 4000 people. I found Rikki Loney really annoying. He's one of these people who's so desperate to make it he'd step on his grandmother to get there. Despite the fact that Rikki Loney was terrible due to a throat infection the judges still put him through to the next round. Unbelievable. Rikki Loney sang Adele's Chasing Pavement and it was horrible. Olly Murs is still in with a good shot of winning the competition. Olly Murs got through bootcamp by singing Elton John Your Song and was very good. De-Tour another group with two guys were average singing Paulo Nutini Lay Down Beside Me and got through boot camp. I reckon if I grabbed a tramp from the street and came up with a witty group name we'd have qualified. Harmony Hood didn't get through in saying that, they sang U2 With or Without You. End of the road for Harmony Hood. Curtis Moore the little criminal didn't get through boot camp either. Curtis Moore sang Michael Jackson's You Are Not Alone and sounded ok. I guess he'll have to go back to robbing houses. Project A were another average group who got through. Project A sang Gabrielle's Rise and were no better than average. Stacey McLean was pretty good. She sang U2 With or Without You and Stace McLean marches on to the next round. Jamie Afro Archer also sang this song and got the crowd involved again. Very cheesy. I can't help but think it's to hide the fact that he doesn't have much of a voice. Jamie Archer got through to the next round. Stacey Solomon was excellent and sang There you'll Be. Stacey Solomon qualified for the next round. She was heard saying that she felt like her mouth was full of sand after coming off stage. Danyl Johnson, what a let down he was. After me moaning he was hardly in yesterdays episode it was probably just as well after this effort. He started off beat boxing which is always a no no and then Danyl Johnson burst in to Holding Back the Years by Simply Red. It was pretty average. Simon Cowell asked him at the end why he didn't try to sing any of it to the melody.

Ok so here's the round up of who got through X Factor 2009 Boot Camp:

Girls - Dannii Minogue
Stacey McLean
Despina Pilavakis
Nicole Jackson
Stacey Solomon
Rachel Adedji
Lucie Jones

Boys - Cheryl Cole
Lloyd Daniels
Ethan Boroian
Rikki Loney (you have to be kidding me?)
Daniel Fox
Joseph McElderry
Duane Lamonte

Over 25's - Simon Cowell
Jamie Afro Archer
Daniel Pearce
Olly Murs
Nicole Lawrence
Treyc Cohen
Danyl Johnson

Groups - Louis Walsh (absolutely no chance just look at this line up!!)
Miss Frank
Kandy Rain (haha)
Trucolorz
Project A
De-Tour
John & Edward (no comment)

I don't fancy Louis Walsh's chances...

X Factor 2009 Auditions - Episode 5

The X Factor 2009 Auditions Episode 5 aired on Saturday the 19th of September 2009 and covered London and Birmingham auditions. It had the usual mix of amazing X Factor 2009 talent and funny X Factor auditions. Unbelievably this was the 100th episode of the X Factor so perhaps that's why its a double bill with the 2nd episode airing on Sunday the 20th of September 2009. There will of course be another post covering the X Factor 2009 Auditions Episode 6. This will be the last of the auditions before we move on to the X Factor boot camp . The 100th episode of the X Factor wasn't the best I've seen but here's the breakdown.

First up was Richard Green, 30 years old and a security guard from Watford. Richard Green went off on one of those tangents talking about how he wants to spread peace and harmony through the medium of his music. He's not going to do it with his singing. Richard Green was also another one who thought it was a good idea to do some sort of weird dancing which just ended up leaving the X factor in stitches. It's a pity Richard Green skipped work to come and inflict his version of Word Up by Cameo on us. Simon Cowell gave him a praise sandwich by saying he's a nice guy, telling he should stop singing, then going on about much of a nice guy he seems. Louis Walsh did say he enjoyed it for all the wrong reasons. The strangest thing for me about Richard Green was his crazy eyes he seemed to be having trouble focusing so would open his eyes really wide right at the camera. He also seemed to be hyperventilating after his audition.

Maggie Abboud was a 43 year old who worked at Heathrow airport as ground staff. Maggie Abboud started off by telling Simon Cowell that she loves him then launched into her own version of A Child is Born. I'm just hoping no children heard Maggie Abboud singing. Unsurprisingly she got four 'no's.

Maurice Siegel was a 76 year old retired telesales worker who claimed to have over 500 female fans in Southend. Maurice Siegel turned up in a bright fuschia and teal ruffle shiny suit. It was quite awful how pink it looked. Anyway Maurice Seigel sang Delialah by Tom Jones and the strangest thing was how he getting wagging his tongue out of mouth scaring Dannii Minogue. Scared me too. Four no's. Why don't we get a group in this called Four No's and save us a lot of time?

Chelsey Fletcher was hilariously bad. She was going on the usual rubbish about wanting to be famous and have a platinum album etc. Chelsey Fletcher was a 16 year old student who sang....I don't even know what she sang it was so bad. Ethan Boroian save us from this rubbish! He was a 19 year old student who lives in Surrey but he's originally from Chicago in the U.S. Ethan Boroian is a good looking guy which got him off to a good start before he opened his mouth. Ethan Boroian sang Use Somebody by the Kings of Leon and seemed to have a great stage presence. The crowd loved him. I thought his voice was a bit out of control at times but I'm sure Simon Cowell will pay for that to be fixed. Anyway, everyone loved him with Cheryl Cole saying he seemed really humble and sweet. Dannii Minogue said Ethan Boroian was a little superstar and that she needed another slice of that...Ethan I mean?

Now for the X Factor Auditions in Birmingham! It was Cheryl Cole's birthday so Simon gave her a cake. Husband Ashley Cole was there too first time we've seen him on screen this year. They showed her presents including another cake in the shape of a small white dog which I guess must be Cheryl's? Back to the X Factor Auditions! Faye Bray! Almost as good a name as Shanna Goodhead we saw on the X Factor 2009 Auditions episode 4

Faye Bray came out in some lingerie no doubt inspired by the Pussycat Dolls. Faye obviously likes the fake tan as she was a nice shade of mahogany. She said one of her ambitions was to be on the front cover of Heat magazine and talked about how she would never complain about being chased by the 'paps'. If she wins she would use her fame for the power of good and work for the NSPCC or to help donkeys. This is after the Heat magazine spread. Sorry kids you'll have to wait for the help. So will the donkeys. I know what you're thinking, she's going to be rubbish right? After all this hillarious build up it's going to be another funny X Factor audition. Well, not entirely. After Simon Cowell had some fun with her being a prison lecturer in a mens prison then asking Faye Bray if she dresses like that in the prison she sang River Deep Mountain High by Tina Turner and she wasn't too bad. She got through to the X Factor 2009 Boot Camp. Faye Bray also stated that she never had any absentees from her class in the prison...I wonder why. Simon put her through since she's interesting. I forgot to mention she wants world peace through her music. I'm looking forward to seeing Faye Bray in the boot camp episodes just to hear what she has to say next. Dermot O'Leary looked like he was struggling to keep his eyes above her boobs which were being squished up to her chin in the corset thing she was wearing.

Treyc Cohen was next. What a silly name. Treyc Cohen was a call centre worker aged 25 who wowed the audience and all four X Factor judges with her version of I'm Every Woman by Whitney Houston. Treyc Cohen had a really soulful voice and Cheryl Cole stated that this was the best audition of the day. Treyc Cohen also had 14 siblings so there was a funny little cut scene of her phoning all her family to let them know she had gone through to the X Factor 2009 boot camp. Karl Lewis, unemployed and 25 was up next. He sang Aerosmiths I don't wanna miss a thing and got through to boot camp. His Nan was back stage so Simon shouted her to come out on stage and she got a great round of applause. Harmony Hood were a group of 2 boys and 2 girls ages ranging from 18-23. Personally I thought Harmony Hood were crap! I guess it shows how poor the groups are this year that this bunch got through. They came out wearing cheesy 'How Hood Are You' t shirts. Terrible. They sang Kanye West's Love Lockdown acappella style and it was average at best. They got four yes's and Harmony Hood slide in to the X Factor 2009 Boot Camp.

Back to some cake fun, Simon messed up Cheryl's dog cake and made it look like a seal...

Natricia Thompson murdered Whitney Houston's Dance With Somebody. We were treated to one of those opening sequences with Natricia Thompson talking about herself being the total package to be a global superstar. She had the looks and the talent etc. She had neither. She came on stage talking about how she'd like to sell out shows in Britain, America, Japan and China. After Natricia Thompson's awful audition Simon told her she wouldn't sell out anything. The crowd had a great time laughing at her however so maybe people would pay to see her in a comedy club. Gianni Rocchetta was a 42 year old interpreter with a terrible haircut. It might have been a wig. Gianni Rocchetta claimed to feel the music all the way through his body that's what made him so different. He sang a version of Madonna's Vogue through his nose and topped that off with some terrible dancing. Jackson Ssentamu was equally as bad. Jackson Ssentamu sang Billie Jean by Michael Jackson (RIP) and claimed that he'd be a pop prince in a few years time. No chance, four no votes and off Jackson Ssentamu goes. Simone Lucioli provided some entertainment for the girls by taking off his shirt. This Italian model, 29, took Cheryl's hint about the heat and took off his top showing off his 6 pack. Dannii seemed to be impressed too. He sang a Crazy Little Thing Called Love by Queen but wasn't very good. Cheryl actually said Simone Lucioli was like a Chippendale singing karaoke.

Eileen Chapman an 80 year old retired receptionist has been singing for over 70 years way back in the air raid shelters of World War 2. Eileen Chapman was dressed all in white with something that looked like a dead animal draped over her shoulders. Her dream is to make a record and boogie to it. Eileen Chapman told Simon Cowell that she thought he was hunky and wanted to make him her 'Joy Boy'. She came over before the start of the audition to hug and kiss Simon. Eileen Chapman sang The Wonder of You by Elvis Presley in a really old fashioned warbly style. I thought it was pretty terrible. Eileen Chapman split the judges so Simon told her to come back tomorrow with some new music to try again. Simon Cowell also pointed out how Dannii Minogue had the same hair cut as Eileen Chapman which was funny if only to see Dannii's horrified face.

Kandy Rain were another terrible group. Seriously this year the groups have been awful and it just seems like they're putting any rubbish through. Kandy Rain were 4 girls of all shapes and sizes aged 21-25. They were like a bad Pussycat Dolls tribute act. They were dressed really provocatively for Simon and Louis apparently and sang Don't Cha Wish Your Girlfriend Was Hot Like Me. Crap. Indie Okoye a 19 year old student sang Summertime and the Livin is Easy by Billie Holiday. Indie Okoye had a nice soulful voice and got through to boot camp then burst in to tears. Stacey McClean was another young girl who loves her fake tan. She was a fantastic shade of orange so do not adjust your TV sets folks. Stacey McClean is 20 and from Blackpool and is an Office Worker (she makes the tea). She sang Christina Aguilera's Aint No Other and was pretty average but Stacey McClean got through to the X Factor boot camp.

Dominic Harris turned up in his nice Lyle & Scott sweater like a little golfer. Aww. X Factor fanatics might remember Dominic Harris from the 2007 series. I'll be honest, I didn't. He's now 17 and much more confident and sang Chris Brown's With You. Cheryl said his swagger isn't quite there but the voice is. Simon said Dominic Harris voice wasn't incredible but good enough to go through to boot camp. Nicole Lawrence was a big girl who works as a care worker and has done the club thing for years working with her dad before he died just before Christmas. Nicole Lawrence started singing Another Little Piece of My Heart by Dusty Springfield but Simon stopped her as she seemed to be over singing it a bit. She then sang Alicia Keyes If I Aint Got You and sang it with more conviction and emotion. Simon gave Nicole Lawrence a no but the other three muppets gave her a yes so through she goes. She was pretty average. Simon said she's picked up a lot of bad habits.

Last but not least were It Takez 2. Notice the 'z' in takes to prove they're down with the kids. Anyway, It Takez 2 are Russel and Katie (30 and 25) who are a couple and met while they were working at Pontins as entertainers. To be honest they looked like characters from Little Britain. They've worked at all the main arenas in the UK including the before mentioned Pontins, Gala Bingo and now Alton Towers where Russel operates a ride and Katie drives the trains. Wow. They've been together 4 years and sing together at the weekends. It Takez 2 sang the classic Jackson's song I'll Be There with most of the judges saying they preferred Katie's voice to Russel. Simon said there wasn't much difference. They got through with Russel crying his eyes out because he felt he'd let Katie down. Stop blubbering you got through. Hugs all round blah blah this ends a pretty average episode of the X Factor 2009 Auditions. I hope tomorrow's is better or I'm going to start watching Strictly Come Dancing.

On tonight's episode both Cherly Cole and Dannii Minogue had several outfit changes that left them looking stylish as always. Cherly Cole's dress for most of tonight's episode was a white sleeveless A-line dress with a layer of lace detailing over the top of it. Cherly Cole's birthday outfit consisted of a jewel tone purple collared shirt with puffed short sleeves. This was tucked into an orange bubble skirt with purple sequins on the pockets and black heels. Later in the show Cherly changed into a royal blue scoop neck classic dress. Cheryl Cole's most memorable dress was a multicolored bodycon style dress. Dannii Minogue had some funky dresses and outfits in tonight's episode. She started the episode wearing a royal blue and periwinkle one shouldered strapped dress with folded details and a thin gold necklace. Another notable look was a white halter flowy top with a big bow detail around the collar. This outfit was paired with a black mini skirt and black strappy heels. Dannii Minogue's dress from last week the magenta halter also featured.

X Factor 2009 Audition Episode 5 Repeats are as follows:

Sunday the 20th of September at 1:00am on ITV2

Sunday the 20th of September 1:05pm on ITV1 London

Sunday the 20th of September at 5:30pm on ITV2

Friday 25th September at 4:30pm on ITV2