The grand final (part 1) of the X Factor 2009 aired on Saturday the 12th of December 2009 and brains of Britain Stacey Solomon got kicked out leaving Olly Murs and Joe McElderry to battle it out to be X Factor 2009 champion. This episode was dragged out over 2 hours which was about an hour too long if you ask me but ITV make a fortune from the advertising to fire away boys. It started off with the usual dramatic music and introduction of the judges. Dannii Minogue came out wearing a grey one shouldered dress with some gold sparkly earrings. Very Christmasy. Cheryl weirded it up yet again wearing a white and black mermaid style dress with feathers on it. She could hardly walk and Simon Cowell had to help her walk down the stairs. God knows how she goes to the toilet. I thought she looked a bit out of sorts the whole episode like she was nervous and about to cry. Maybe she has more trouble at home. Maybe she met Tiger Woods. Anyway the contestants came out and horse faced Stacey Solomon was wearing a really short blue dress with a gold trim around the collar. Joe McElderry wore a simple blue shirt with black trousers. Olly Murs wore a black waistcoat with a skinny tie and white shirt.
We were treated to an insight into Stacey Solomon's home life via a visit to Dagenham Working Mens club and King Solomon High School. Lots of kids were kept in for detention so they could cheer on our down to earth star. Stacey wore a leopard print top with a pink jacket which had black chunky buttons. There were a few interview segments where Stacey did her usual gasping for breath thing in between sentences. It's like she forgets that she has to breathe while she's concentrating on forming sentences. She then came on stage wearing a black and white zig zag print dress and performed live for Dagenhams finest. For her first X Factor song she sat on a stool looking really leggy and sang What a Wonderful World. A few close ups of Dannii trying to squeeze out a tear which I don't think is possible since her tear ducts have been closed off from too much botox. I'm not going to put down what the judges said as it was mostly repetitive rubbish. At this stage they have to say everyone is great otherwise they look pretty stupid for putting them through to the final. Simon did say that Stacey has been a nervous wreck the past few weeks to which she did her usual "Fanks". We then found out that she has a crush on Jade Goody's ex-husband Jeff Brazier as he was live from Dagenham with more of those detained kids. Stacey then said she was a big fatty who loves pizza.
Olly was up next flying around in Simon's helicopter since he doesn't mix with the scum in cars. They did the same thing and went to his old school where paid kids held up signs saying we love Olly etc. ITV are really blowing the budget this year. Olly Murs Fred Perry shirt was on display yet again as he went to his parents house. Simon had butterscotch angel delight and complained that it needed more milk. Olly also had some awful looking scarf on. So his live performance was the usual cheese. He sang Superstitious and it was terrible with his stupid dancing and stupid big head. There were lots of dancers all around him and at one stage Olly Murs slipped and almost fell. The cheesiest part was when he slid through the dancers legs looking up their skirts. Great. We were treated to some screaming fans in Colchester.
On to Joe McElderry now and he was back in his home town of South Shields. Cheryl needs to sack the stylist seriously. She was wearing a white sweater with black skulls on it topped off with a skull scarf. Terrible! Joe remarked about how easily Cheryl fitted in to his family when they went to visit. It made me wonder if the stripper that Ashley Cole affair cheated on her with could fit in to their nice little family? Then Joe was seen performing on a stage in Gateshead in front of hundreds of fans. He wore a blue hoodie with a grandad style collar. For his live performance he sang Dance With My Father Again. It took me ages to work out which song it was because I didn't have a clue what he was saying. Then Cheryl's mate Kimberley Walsh or whatever her name is. The one from Girls Aloud with the massive forehead? Yeah she was in South Shields with the fans where we found out a local baker named Declan has been selling Joe Cookies in his shop. He brought two with him to prove it. He said they were outselling the sausage rolls. Some other lady claimed that she has changed her name to "Vote Joe".
Back to Stacey Solomon for the special guest duet. This time she work a red sparkly dress and she sang Feeling Good. Michael Buble came out to help and they did a decent job together. At the end Dermot tried to speak to Michael Buble who simply said I didn't understand a word of that...Dermot apologised for his English accent and repeated. I wonder how Mr Buble got on trying to understand Stacey Solomon? They started on about how Michael Buble met the queen and she loves his album then he made a joke about the Queen going in to Tesco to buy it.
Olly Murs came on next singing Angels and Robbie Williams came out for the duet. It made me cringe. First of all Robbie Williams looked spaced out again and messed up his timing. He started singing too early and had to go back and sing the same part twice for it to fit. The Ego doesn't share the stage with anyone so he proceeded to take the limelight off Olly Murs anyway he could. This included standing looking at him judgmentally between lines and trying to sing over the top of him. Robbie Williams looked really weird like he was on something. The whole thing was awkward with Olly looking nervous throughout. There was some strange violent man hugs in there with Robbie looking like he was giving Olly a good squeeze. Perhaps because Olly stole his whole routine. At the end Robbie overdid it again getting the crowd to chant for Olly. He started going on about how 110% is required and 112% if possible which has never been televised. I was hiding behind the couch at this point.
Joe McElderry was out next singing Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Me with George Michael. This actually worked pretty well with George being much more humble than Robbie and letting Joe shine. George Michael waved to Joe's mum at the end since she's a big fan.
Another song each. Stacey Solomon sang Who Wants to Live Forever by Queen. She work a black sparkly dress with a large train at the back. Olly Murs sang Fool in Love by Tina Turner. This was exceptionally cheesy with all the dancers dressed in white. Joe then sang Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word.
Robbie Williams was back out to sing his new single. I guess he didn't embarrass himself enough the first time around. It was really terrible and yeah he still looked spaced out. We then found out Prince Harry was there with his girlfriend Chelsy.
In the end Stacey Solomon got kicked out and she claimed to be happy finishing third. I don't think she's realised she's out and wouldn't be surprised if she turns up tomorrow and tries to sing. Olly and Joe battle it out to be the X Factor 2009 winner!
Part 2
The show started off in familiar fashion with the judges coming out. Dannii Minogue opted for a gold sparkly dress showing off plenty of cleavage. Cheryl went for a black puffball dress which was a bit see through. We were shown the crows in Colchester for Olly and the crowds in South Shields supporting Joe. Then the final 12 burst out singing Never Forget by Take That. They were all miming again of course and it was a treat to see Jedward and Rikki Loney's eyebrow all over again.
On to the individual performances. Olly Murs started with Twist and Shout which was as cheesy as every with his crappy dancing. He kept it smart and simple with a black suit and skinny tie. He then burst into the Thriller dance he did a few episodes back with the back up dancers helping him out.
Joe McElderry chose to sing Don't Stop Believing by Journey and did a decent job. He was also dressed in a black suit and tie.
The first guest of tonight was JLS with Alexanda Burke singing a medley of their songs. The highlight being Bad Boys by Alexandra Burke. From there we went to Leona Lewis stripping all the heart and soul out of Stop Crying Your Heart Out by Oasis. If you ever want a great song wasted just give it to Leona she can do robotic singing like no other. She looked a bit weird in a gold and black mermaid dress. It looked like she had been nailed to the stage.
On to the contestants again where they both sang their versions of the winning song Life's a Climb. If anyone's interested it was actually a song by Miley Cyrus in the states. I thought Olly did a great job with this you could really feel the emotion in his voice. George Michael came on to plug his Christmas single which I thought was a bit strange since he's in direct competition with the X Factor single. Then Paul McCartney came on to sing Baby You Can Drive My Car where all the contestants came out to help like he needs it. He then went on some crazy multicoloured piano to sing Live and Let Die. Simon joked that he was through to the next round and he hugged Dermot to celebrate. I did like his Beatles style military jacket.
In the end Joe McElderry was named the X Factor 2009 winner. I wonder what height Joe McElderry is because he looks really short even next to Dermot O'Leary. He had to sing The Climb over again and started laughing half way through I don't think he could believe that he'd won. All the other contestants came out and Rachel Adedji grabbed the mic at one point to congratulate him then give him a big kiss on the cheek. Aww!
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Till next new folks, Joe McElderry is your new X Factor champion! I'll have to amuse myself with Britains Got Talent 2010 in the meantime! Look out for the X Factor Auditions 2010 coming next year!
